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    Senior Member Soar337's Avatar
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    Default What the types get from each other?

    So...deep deep down I appreciate having someone to protect me. I naturally care about people yet this sort of 'protection' and someone to order things is what I want. So..do types such as ENFJ's naturally protect people....just like INFP's naturally dream and then the the ENFJs will appreciate an INFP.. like 'wanting' someone to protect? Do they look for 'the dreamer' and the kind of 'softer' (in a way) character of the INFP?

    What im trying to say is do they both naturally do the opposite and look for the opposite?
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    ENFJs ... Like a challenge.. INFs are a challenge..

    ENFJs become very bored and unhappy in a relationship where they hold all the "power".
    ENFJs want an intellectual and emotional equal.
    I believe ENFJs understand human synergy more than anyone else and this is what they seek in partner.
    They don't only want to make you better.. They need you to make them better as well.

  3. #3
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't need protection or welcome orders. A little protection/tradeoff on strengths in each person is great, but I don't fancy myself as someone who needs all of it. And orders are pretty much the wrong way to talk to me. Depending on what they're saying, an order doesn't mean anything. That said, I don't think ENFJs are usually the ordering type. In my experience, they are pretty good at getting to know me. And I've had employers and friends... so I've seen it professionally and casually. They're not a good match for me though. I've been kind of blunt lately in general, so I'm going to hold back on why. I'm not going to generalize or relay my experiences and ascribe it to everyone, but I don't see it being ideal for me personally (and umm.. once again, maybe I'm just ISFP. Maybe "real" INFPs get along better. I don't know).

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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I don't need protection or welcome orders. A little protection/tradeoff on strengths in each person is great, but I don't fancy myself as someone who needs all of it. And orders are pretty much the wrong way to talk to me.
    I can agree with this. While its unusual for an ENFJ to "order", they will sometimes make "helpful suggestions", and on occasion this may rub me the wrong way, as I have my own ideas. Other times, it is helpful & I don't mind taking it; I know there is good motive.

    As for being protected, I do like having someone look out for me in a way, but I don't need someone to take care of me. It can be a misconception that INFPs need certain things but can't do it themselves, when in reality, we don't bother with it because that's just how we like it. I have not had an ENFJ cross that boundary, and I don't think it's necessarily a trait of theirs as a whole though. Online I have heard of the pushy NFJ type, who may need to stop & realize they are really serving their own need for their partner to be a certain way, as opposed to helping their partner for their partner's sake. That's my impression of that obstacle anyway, but like I said, I haven't had that problem with any ENFJ I actually know.

    Generally, what I appreciate about ENFJs is they like me as I am, and I also like them as they are, and there's a lot less "I wish they were more X way". The few snags are always consistent & become predictable over time, and they are rather minor in comparison to snags hit with other types.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soar337 View Post
    So...deep deep down I appreciate having someone to protect me. I naturally care about people yet this sort of 'protection' and someone to order things is what I want. So..do types such as ENFJ's naturally protect people....just like INFP's naturally dream and then the the ENFJs will appreciate an INFP.. like 'wanting' someone to protect? Do they look for 'the dreamer' and the kind of 'softer' (in a way) character of the INFP?

    What im trying to say is do they both naturally do the opposite and look for the opposite?
    I think all NF types want someone they can protect and take care of. I know I do as far as orders go, HELL no. it's hard for me to do what the law wants me to sometimes, let alone an actual person telling me. of course, I'm happy to take suggestions from anyone, but no one calls my shots for me (perhaps this is because I am 1) a guy and 2) 7w8 self preservation)

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