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  1. #1
    Senior Member Soar337's Avatar
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    Default INFP-The cold shoulder-the ignoring......

    Do any other INFP's happen to ignore someone who has hurt/dumped them?
    <3

  2. #2

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    Doubtless, as would many others.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #3
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, probably. But I end up coming around too, I guess. Example: There was one girl I was really serious about when I was younger, and although we didn't get to know each other enough, it was going well for a month or so. And some "friend", god knows why (no..I know why), got her alone one day and spread a bunch of crap about how I was using her. The old "he doesn't love you" jealous friend trick. Somehow it worked. She wouldn't answer my calls, and finally when she did, she just screamed into the phone. I didn't know what was going on at the time, so it was just confusion on top of sadness.. and then she started sleeping around to "get back at me". Then it was real heartbreak. I kind of caved in and didn't talk to anyone, let alone her. Fast forward a few years later though.. For various reasons, she had become part of my circle of friends again. So I couldn't avoid her. So I'd try to just say what's up and be civil. But we actually started getting along again. We had a lot of similar tastes and she was still easy to talk to. The past was kind of barely spoken about.. and she apologized and explained to me what happened. At that point, I already had an idea. That "friend" had pulled that with other people's girlfriends too. You could say that in the end, I shut him out. Not her.

    Not sure why I need to tell a story.. I guess some people would hold it against her too. I don't think I go that far.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Generally speaking, probably. But I end up coming around too, I guess. Example: There was one girl I was really serious about when I was younger, and although we didn't get to know each other enough, it was going well for a month or so. And some "friend", god knows why (no..I know why), got her alone one day and spread a bunch of crap about how I was using her. The old "he doesn't love you" jealous friend trick. Somehow it worked. She wouldn't answer my calls, and finally when she did, she just screamed into the phone. I didn't know what was going on at the time, so it was just confusion on top of sadness.. and then she started sleeping around to "get back at me". Then it was real heartbreak. I kind of caved in and didn't talk to anyone, let alone her. Fast forward a few years later though.. For various reasons, she had become part of my circle of friends again. So I couldn't avoid her. So I'd try to just say what's up and be civil. But we actually started getting along again. We had a lot of similar tastes and she was still easy to talk to. The past was kind of barely spoken about.. and she apologized and explained to me what happened. At that point, I already had an idea. That "friend" had pulled that with other people's girlfriends too. You could say that in the end, I shut him out. Not her.

    Not sure why I need to tell a story.. I guess some people would hold it against her too. I don't think I go that far.
    Actually, I think it's great that you didn't hold it against her. It sounds like you had a sense of what was happening at the time and couldn't prevent it. I think it's good to realize that sometimes, bad things happen and that the people you care for fall for it and you can't do anything to prevent it. She sounds like she was able to let it go as well. So, I say, well done on both your parts, to let it go.

  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say I ignore people most the time, but I certainly display a colder, more formal TJ side of my personality. can't say how it is for INFPs, but I think most ENFPs are too naturally assertive to be good at ignoring people (I've tried, but failed miserably lol)

  6. #6
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    I have a shield wall, or I can raise the draw bridge. Yes, I can ignore people. Typically I would go for a walk (if I can). I usually have to get out their presence. Once I even changed my phone number.


    Edit: Also, if you push me too far, I'll refer you to this thread.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Do any other INFP's happen to ignore someone who has hurt/dumped them?

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Doubtless, as would many others.
    ^ Yep.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  8. #8
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I can't tell these days whether its ignorance, neglect or stress or more. Nope, I want to de stress and communicate with too many people and end up living in my own world. Unintentional, I become distracted, stressed and the social facilitation to be social and communicative tends to be absent for days, weeks, months or years depends then out of the blue I'll say something and its like wait a minute I thought you thought that I thought you thought that wah!

    There are friends of past that think I am ignoring them and its untrue. I got a lecture from a real life friend that you know buddy you mustn't take your friends for granted. If you don't initiate then don't expect us to go out of our way to include you in social activity. Little they know while they earn great incomes I am stressed beyond belief and can't afford much and its better this way so maybe I am ignoring out of stress, pride and shame. Unintentional, plus if I don't know what to say because I'm aware of thoughts that happen just don't know what to say and am in observance rather than let friends know whats going on. Or rather the initiative, the painfully obvious, does escape me sometimes and its to do with the delayed response I have to friends and events sometimes and such.

    I suppose I did a cold shoulder on a blog once, where I stopped expressing my negativity while restoring my health which was seen as insincere.

  9. #9
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    It's a sign of mismanagement: you always need a masterplan or an ace in the back of your hand in case someone is going to hurt or dumb you. Then when they do you let their dumbing ricochet with double the force and then watch them withering to an end smoking a cigar.

    From that time on, everytime you feel like it, you may call your victims and ask if they still remember how they wanted to dumb you that other day and you may smile heartly saying: that was a great day !

    Seriously, you're all doing it wrong
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Seriously, you're all doing it wrong
    I'm doing it the way I'm doing it. It's right because I say it is. I'm not much for all this preplanning anyways. Shit happens with people, man. I don't need to have an ace in the back of my hand like it's all some heist movie or something. And in the case I mentioned (the story above), I got a friend out of it getting over an issue. We've been friends on that level for around 10 years now. In the end, it'd be ridiculous to call what I did wrong. As far as dealing with people who hurt you go, it's all situational. Sometimes people aren't even "enemies", and that's the point of my story. If people are enemies though, I'll deal with them situationally too.

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