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[INFP] INFP-The cold shoulder-the ignoring......

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
Think you dont know them then. They often use sarcasm or irony to convey an idea and they measure the standpoint of their partner in discussion by examining how he reacts to the idea. This's probably not the nicest way but you learn a lot about the other persons personality, where he stands in life and what experiences he has gathered so far.

I know that's what you do, but you could simply ask too. ;) As for what you think about the seriousness of other people's emotions, just accept they can be serious at times and ask more questions instead of generating tests and games. You'll understand people more quickly if you keep a sense of space between yourself and them. Walls go down a bit on their own. And if you are going to play a game, make it fun for others instead of yourself. I don't care if it's a fantasy for you or your need to ward off evil influences. "INFP thread". No one asked you to come in here. There was nothing for you to have to know or ward off.

And I'm not that unfamiliar with it. I have an STP brother. I'm 33, he's 40. It's probably harsher when it's Se, but whatever. I'm not that dumb.
 

Pand0ra

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Joined
Dec 16, 2010
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
I have a shield wall, or I can raise the draw bridge. Yes, I can ignore people. Typically I would go for a walk (if I can). I usually have to get out their presence. Once I even changed my phone number.

I used to get very angry with people, now I just give them the cold shoulder. I'm not sure whether there's some avoidance aspect to that (probably) but I like to go for walks too; get away and reflect on stuff. Being angry never did me any good. Despairing probably doesn't either :shrug:

(Am borderline F by the way)
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
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783
I know that's what you do, but you could simply ask too. ;) As for what you think about the seriousness of other people's emotions, just accept they can be serious at times and ask more questions instead of generating tests and games. You'll understand people more quickly if you keep a sense of space between yourself and them. Walls go down a bit on their own. And if you are going to play a game, make it fun for others instead of yourself. I don't care if it's a fantasy for you or your need to ward off evil influences. "INFP thread". No one asked you to come in here. There was nothing for you to have to know or ward off.

And I'm not that unfamiliar with it. I have an STP brother. I'm 33, he's 40. It's probably harsher when it's Se, but whatever. I'm not that dumb.

But isnt that boring to live in a world where there is one certain answer to every question ? Like one wouldnt even allow the search for multiple answers, because there's only one and that hold high feeling of integrity becomes so big that you dont need to formulate questions no more cause you can answer everything. A feeling that eventually leads to an inability to forgive mistakes or an inability to see the world how it is for others and the resulting attitude to rather shut out everything one doesnt understand from their life. Is there no researcher in an infp ? Are you all aristocrating beings who sy this is an infp thread for only infps, these are the rules ! And you needed to formulate a rule system for yourselves as the only means to cope with your otherwise overwhelmingly strong feelings, which means you are in a volatile state of right and wrong ?

I dont know I cant believe infps have become masters at warding off their Ne, you seem to be worser than the intps :)
 
0

011235813

Guest
A feeling that eventually leads to an inability to forgive mistakes or an inability to see the world how it is for others and the resulting attitude to rather shut out everything one doesnt understand from their life.

Neither is true. If I do appear to shut people out of my life, it's because I'd rather appear withdrawn than be willfully misunderstood.
 

tkae.

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2010
Messages
753
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't think I ignore them so much as I avoid them, if that makes sense.

Like, it's not that I'm ignoring them so much as it's that I feel awkward being around them, so I hide from them. Which can look like the same thing, I guess, but it's different motives.
 

Serafina

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Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
13
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
tkae, is it because you don't like the way the situation makes you feel? I can understand that. With a developed Fi do you think to yourself, "this doesn't feel good to me, I am going to leave the room now" ?
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I dont know I cant believe infps have become masters at warding off their Ne, you seem to be worser than the intps :)

I'm not warding off my Ne. I'm warding off your Ne :cool: You don't even know who I am. I've taken multiple approaches in life. I think it's silly to think I have one.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
tkae, is it because you don't like the way the situation makes you feel? I can understand that. With a developed Fi do you think to yourself, "this doesn't feel good to me, I am going to leave the room now" ?

Personally, I think it's more like "This isn't worth my time/effort"
 

tkae.

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2010
Messages
753
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
tkae, is it because you don't like the way the situation makes you feel? I can understand that. With a developed Fi do you think to yourself, "this doesn't feel good to me, I am going to leave the room now" ?

It's more of, "This feels so bad I don't want to deal with it."

Like, it's not so much a conscious decision to remove myself as it is a strong feeling towards aversion of the situation. So if I associate the situation with a person, then I end up avoiding the person. But that's only if it's a person I don't dislike. 9/10 people I'll either like or tolerate, and it's really hard to get me to actually dislike a person in general. So I'd rather avoid them and the uncomfortable situation they cause than actually deal with the problem, since dealing with the problem is conflict (and to know an INFP is to know that non-value conflicts are major sources of distress). But that said:

Personally, I think it's more like "This isn't worth my time/effort"

I can get to that point. Me and my ex are still friends, but after we broke up I noticed he was treating me pretty bad and taking his problems out on me. Finally I reached a point where I just wrote him off and ignored him for three weeks, because I honestly didn't have time in my life to deal with the constant emotional turbulence that trying to avoid didn't seem to solve. It was like if I dodged one of his emotional attacks, he'd save it up until the next time we talked. So that was the point where I finally did reach my limit.

But he figured it out and apologized, and now he knows that I'll still be his friend so long as he treats me like one.

But other people that I legitimately hate (there are a few that have gotten to that point through consistent antagonism towards me and people in general, so basically sources of constant conflict), but even then it's more of an aversion than a cold shoulder (I'm definitely cold towards them though).

The difference between people I'm tired of dealing with and people who have gotten on my blacklist are that people on my blacklist I'll challenge instead of removing myself from the situation.

If a friend is a racist but I think there's hope for them, I'll tend to avoid racial topics and maybe stop being around them.
If someone I hate is openly racist, I'll charge head-first into a conflict challenging their racism.

It's... complicated :shock:
 
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