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  1. #1
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    Default NEWBIE POSTER: Frustrated INFP with ESTJ mom & ISFJ Sister....

    This is my first post by the way. I'm a married mother of two young boys living in The midwest. Fortunately, therefore I don't have to deal with my sister and mother much. but the occasion does come every so often when I feel I have to....

    .....I feel like the way Hans Christen Andersen (INFP I think) described in that fable about the emperor's new clothes. They see absolutes all the time. Anything which doesn't coincide with their "Absoluteness" Is not shown any respect. Heres the short list:

    ***I'm agnostic and my sister/mom are bible bangers. I'm the one going to hell....

    ***They believe in dressing to the "nines" all the time and putting their best foot forward. I'm just really more inclined to dress for comfort - they're offended....

    ***They're militant see-and-not-be-heard mom's who choose to tell me I need to put more structure and behavioral guidelines. I on the other hand have the benefit of being an INFP mom, raising an INFP boy. I desire to help him discover and learn how to define his own truths. The underlying compas behind random behavioral guidelines. I also value his opinion, and want him to believe it does too...

    You see, I've been trying to put behind me some unresolved hurts from my past and move forward. I was bullied growing up (really bad), and the emotional aftermath of an abusive relationship through college....

    That makes all this B.S. hard to handle. How do you know if and when relationships are unhealthy to the point of needing to end them? How can I cut off contact for a period, until I can handle them in an emotionally healthier way for myself? not sure what to do. just know I hate going home bawling every time after seeing them...

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    sing this song to them:

    Drones since the dawn of time
    Compelled to live your sheltered lives
    Not once has anyone ever seen
    Such a rise of pure hypocracy
    I'll instigate I'll free your mind
    I'll show you what I've known all this time

    God Hates Us All, God Hates Us All
    You know it's true God hates this place
    You know it's true he hates this race

    Homicide-Suicide
    Hate heals, you should try it sometime
    Strive for Peace with acts of war
    The beauty of death we all adore
    I have no faith distracting me
    I know why your prayers will never be answered

    God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
    He Fuckin' hates me

    Pessimist, Terrorist targeting the next mark
    Global chaos feeding on hysteria
    Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
    Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
    Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
    I'm waiting for the day the whole world fucking dies

    I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
    I'll never be the one to blindly follow


    Man made virus infecting the world
    Self-destruct human time bomb
    What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
    Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
    Wake the fuck up can't ignore what I say
    I got my own philosophy

    I hate everyone equally
    You can't tear that out of me
    No segregation -separation
    Just me in my world of enemies

    I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
    I'll never be the one to blindly follow
    I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple

    I reject this fuckin' race
    I despise this fuckin' place
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  3. #3
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    Love it!! Thank's for the chuckle. You know I have a special affection for INTP's - I personally think they rock! My dad's one and he's the one person in my family who truly gets me. I've always admired his independent minded nature....

  4. #4
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen View Post
    This is my first post by the way. I'm a married mother of two young boys living in The midwest. Fortunately, therefore I don't have to deal with my sister and mother much. but the occasion does come every so often when I feel I have to....

    .....I feel like the way Hans Christen Andersen (INFP I think) described in that fable about the emperor's new clothes. They see absolutes all the time. Anything which doesn't coincide with their "Absoluteness" Is not shown any respect. Heres the short list:

    ***I'm agnostic and my sister/mom are bible bangers. I'm the one going to hell....

    ***They believe in dressing to the "nines" all the time and putting their best foot forward. I'm just really more inclined to dress for comfort - they're offended....

    ***They're militant see-and-not-be-heard mom's who choose to tell me I need to put more structure and behavioral guidelines. I on the other hand have the benefit of being an INFP mom, raising an INFP boy. I desire to help him discover and learn how to define his own truths. The underlying compas behind random behavioral guidelines. I also value his opinion, and want him to believe it does too...

    You see, I've been trying to put behind me some unresolved hurts from my past and move forward. I was bullied growing up (really bad), and the emotional aftermath of an abusive relationship through college....

    That makes all this B.S. hard to handle. How do you know if and when relationships are unhealthy to the point of needing to end them? How can I cut off contact for a period, until I can handle them in an emotionally healthier way for myself? not sure what to do. just know I hate going home bawling every time after seeing them...
    well, the best thing to do would be to write down specifically what they do that bothers you and tell them very assertively what these things are and why they bother you. you must let them know that respecting you is not a choice if they want to remain in contact with you.

  5. #5
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    I believe staying quiet and letting them think they are winning will work. Whenever you visit them wear something.....um appropriate for them (i only dress for comfort too and that is one of the main reasons I dislike parties), never state your own opinion and try to stay cool, I always do this when I am being criticized unjustly : "Words do not do anything but ring in your ears. Let people think what they want, I know how I truly am" ^^
    If you keep on repeating this or something similar, I believe your subconscious mind registers it and the next time they say anything you start taking less notice of it, and the less it will hurt you. I really hope you are able to fix things with them, good luck!
    p.s: Elfboy do you watch Tsubasa Chronicles too? ^^

  6. #6
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    As for your son, make him understand how to act in front of his aunt and grandmother, maybe that way they will be able to pick up less faults and stop bugging you for discipline.....

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