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Thread: INFJ aggression

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Default INFJ aggression

    Tell me about your aggressive moments and what form they take! Yes it's true, INFJs CAN be aggressive

    Most people think I am anything but. And mostly that is true. Perhaps it's living in London for a few years which has upped my aggression levels. I went to a gig a few nights ago and ended up in front of a guy who insisted on putting my hood over my head (perhaps, as someone suggested, he was hitting on me, but I certainly was not up for it.)

    After he did this twice, I turned around and told him to f*** off. I can't tell you how unusual this is for me...well, sometimes I swear in my head or say damn etc, but that's about it. It was slightly unfortunate because I was with a teenager who I am trying to set a good example to. Of course, she just thought it was hilarious...
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    I could offer my experiences, but then It seems, I am considered to be holding an INFJ grudge or something like that.
    I have been the victim of INFJ aggression many times.. I have been the victim because INFJs like me and appreciate my insight into them until I spot a disparity between what they say and what they do. Then they can become quite aggressive.

    So although I could offer all sorts of insight into this subject.. I will have to decline.

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    I could offer my experiences, but then It seems, I am considered to be holding an INFJ grudge or something like that.
    I have been the victim of INFJ aggression many times.. I have been the victim because INFJs like me and appreciate my insight into them until I spot a disparity between what they say and what they do. Then they can become quite aggressive.

    So although I could offer all sorts of insight into this subject.. I will have to decline.
    oh dear.

    I was probably hoping more for amusing INFJ aggression stories...perhaps the ones that exist are not amusing!
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    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Schopenhauer View Post
    Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

    Oh dear again. There's actually something a bit familiar-sounding about that...
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    A few can be kind of snappy sometimes..
    The only people that have ever dared to raise their voice with me, before I raised mine first, have been INFJs..

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    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    How dare anyone raise their voice to you before you raise yours first?
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
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    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Schopenhauer View Post
    Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

    ^^ That is a little TOO true.
    I find myself especially dedicated to pursuing boys who are messes and "need" me. I need to learn that just because I say that I'm not trying to change someone, doesn't mean it's actually what I'm expecting.

    Also, I've found myself to be very aggressive these past couple of weeks. I think that a lot of my aggression comes out when it's associated with being misrepresented. I have a really hard time when I feel like someone isn't understanding me, or isn't interpreting something I'm explaining or doing in the way that I mean it to be interpreted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    How dare anyone raise their voice to you before you raise yours first?
    Yeah that came out kind of wrong .. Most people don't snap at me, and I assume, others. I can raise my voice on the odd occasion and be snappy myself and that is the only time anyone ever raises their voice back. So I am under the impression most people don't start raising their voice 1st thing.

    A few INFJs have snapped at me before I even knew what was going on.. and it intimidates.. and I do not intimidate easy.

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    Senior Member FakePlasticAlice's Avatar
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    I can definitely be one of those snappy INFJs Arc is talking about. I try to hold back as much as i can because i really do hate confrontation. However, when all the ingredients are just right i can be a real ticking time bomb! I generally catch people off guard with it as well, because i hold it in as best i can..looking quiet and withdrawn on the outside but seething underneath..then BANG!. It's never a pretty sight:/

    My most recent "incident" was this past Christmas. I had observed my bf's best friend (who is also my friend) being a down right selfish asshole.. i never felt i was in the position to say anything though because as much as it bothered me i wanted to respect my bf's wishes and keep the peace. So it just grew inside of me [that's what she said]. Then one day i was having an absolutely horrible day..everyone i had come into contact with were selfish and vile (Christmas brings out the best in us doesn't it?). My Christmas spirit was completely trampled and then i had an encounter with this same guy. I was going out of my way to do something for him and his friends that i really had no interest in.. he was growing impatient and asked me if he could bring me somewhere in order to hurry things along.. i asked if he minded making a quick stop on the way.. wouldn't take 5 minutes and he barely had to go out of his way.. at that point he proceed to tell me that i was rude to ask .. i said no i was simply asking and it wasn't a big deal and to forget it (because i knew he was pushing my buttons and i was going to snap if this conversation continued)..he continued on anyway...then he stopped the car and i got out at my stop..as i was getting out he said, somewhat under his breath, that i was taking advantage of him... then... BANG!
    I honestly do not remember what happened after that.. it was just a furious rage.

    building of negative emotion = CHECK
    really bad day = CHECK
    treating someone i love poorly = CHECK
    selfish, self absorbed = CHECK
    hypocritical = CHECK
    taking advantage of me = CHECK
    accusing me of something that i despise and couldn't be further from the truth = CHECK

    All the right ingredient for an Alice Bomb.

    I'm not proud of it but it had to happen. If i had let it slide it would have eaten away at me until i gave him a piece of my mind.. which i would rather do in the moment than go home and sit on it for however long then bring it up out of the blue.
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