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  1. #1
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    Default enfps: do you make bad choices & know that they are bad choices the whole time?

    have we had this thread before? if so, i apologize in advance. but seriously enfps- this is something i have discussed with my irl enfp friends & something that plagues me constantly. why do we make bad choices when we are fully aware of the situation at hand? we see the red flags & we choose to ignore them. why do we do this? do you do this? how do we stop doing this? maybe you are an enfp & you don't relate- if so, you are very lucky.

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    because it's fun?



    tbh i don't really know what you mean, though i'm interested. what kind of bad choices are you talking about?
    Last edited by skylights; 02-11-2011 at 09:16 PM.

  3. #3
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    I actually think what you describe above has more to do with being e7 than ENFP. Nevertheless, we are the ‘grown-ups’ that still believe in fairytales. That anything is possible…that good will always triumph over evil. We are attracted to the notion of ‘against all odds’. The story of the underdog. We look red-flags in the eye (or ignore them) and say ‘you don’t scare me. i will overcome. you’ll see.’

    No, I’m not sure how to change this. I am not even sure if I want to. The more risks you take the more failures you will accumulate along the way. That is just how it is and I am not yet certain, for me at least, if I consider this a negative thing. I’m still thinking on it.

  4. #4
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    yep starryknights, that's it . . . you totally nailed it! gosh it must be so different to be one of those e2, e3, e8 enfps -- they probably don't really have this type of problem the way e7 does- man i would be so much more successful in life (i feel) if this was not the case. i agree with you about the poetic-ness of the whole outlook - yeah it's kinda beautiful but sometimes i feel like i would just be so much further along in life if i wasn't like this. i don't know what to say next but i really like what you had to say & agree with you completely. i'm 7w6 as i think you are too . . . well i hope more enfps chime in on this . . . hhhmmmm

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnights View Post
    I actually think what you describe above has more to do with being e7 than ENFP. Nevertheless, we are the ‘grown-ups’ that still believe in fairytales. That anything is possible…that good will always triumph over evil. We are attracted to the notion of ‘against all odds’. The story of the underdog. We look red-flags in the eye (or ignore them) and say ‘you don’t scare me. i will overcome. you’ll see.’

    No, I’m not sure how to change this. I am not even sure if I want to. The more risks you take the more failures you will accumulate along the way. That is just how it is and I am not yet certain, for me at least, if I consider this a negative thing. I’m still thinking on it.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    because it's fun?



    tbh i don't really know what you mean, though i'm interested. what kind of bad choices are you talking about?
    i guess i'm just referring to the fact that i tend to follow or go where i am intrigued rather than to follow my intellect. i always know what is the better / smarter choice but ultimately i don't care. maybe i am referring to love / relationships / people stuff mostly. yeah i probably am.

  6. #6
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    When I do this, it's usually out of fear, out of idealism or out of a mistaken sense of duty.

    It happens when my Fi cannot determine which core value is to be followed first, when several are at stake, or when it's unrealistic for my ideals, my core beliefs to be successful when executed but I go there anyway coz I feel I must. It also happens coz i suck at execution, know it, and am afraid of failure so I do an act of desperation (which makes me feel good for following my core values but ends up with a disastrous effect. Makes my INTJ go and shake his head every time ).

    Often, the best thing to do, if reality allows it, is to forego all actions and decisions, brood and introvert, then use some other poor victim as a sounding board till the fog clears and you can use NeTe to satisfy the standards Fi demands and soothe the anxieties that's got Si's panties in a knot.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  7. #7
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnights View Post
    I actually think what you describe above has more to do with being e7 than ENFP. Nevertheless, we are the ‘grown-ups’ that still believe in fairytales. That anything is possible…that good will always triumph over evil. We are attracted to the notion of ‘against all odds’. The story of the underdog. We look red-flags in the eye (or ignore them) and say ‘you don’t scare me. i will overcome. you’ll see.’

    No, I’m not sure how to change this. I am not even sure if I want to. The more risks you take the more failures you will accumulate along the way. That is just how it is and I am not yet certain, for me at least, if I consider this a negative thing. I’m still thinking on it.
    StarryKnights, I thought this a beautiful and inspiring statement of the ENFP worldview, especially the parts in bold.

    I think part of being an ENFP is always seeing what could be (Ne)...and what should be (Fi). The combination of the two makes us hopeless idealists and tireless pursuers of our vision of how the world should be.

    This, like many personality attributes, is both a blessing and a curse. I guess I choose to see it as a blessing. For every time I've failed (and oh I've had some BIG failures) I've been able to make things happen that no one else had the vision to see or the faith to think it possible.... red flags and nay sayers be damned.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    It happens when my Fi cannot determine which core value is to be followed first, when several are at stake, or when it's unrealistic for my ideals, my core beliefs to be successful when executed but I go there anyway coz I feel I must. It also happens coz i suck at execution, know it, and am afraid of failure so I do an act of desperation (which makes me feel good for following my core values but ends up with a disastrous effect. Makes my INTJ go and shake his head every time ).

    Often, the best thing to do, if reality allows it, is to forego all actions and decisions, brood and introvert, then use some other poor victim as a sounding board till the fog clears and you can use NeTe to satisfy the standards Fi demands and soothe the anxieties that's got Si's panties in a knot.
    Satine, I really identified with what you wrote here. I once read that ENFPs were the most introverted of the extraverts. And, I think this is true in the sense that we need alone time to sort out if our actions are in synch with our Fi values. This is never more important for me than when there are several Fi values at play and I have to sort through which are the most important in any given situation.

    [Also, Satine, I laughed when you wrote about how your INTJ shakes his head. When I was with my INTJ, he would do this, too. He was soooo good at execution, and I was so bad at it. He was really a wonderful support for me learning to execute things more effectively.]
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

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