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  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    34

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    Emapathy is good. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my fears and relationship challenges.
    Silkroad - I know!!! you and I must just think and act alike in these situations. I always feel like you totally understand what I'm saying.

    Maybe I want to find out something else....
    Of course this is all kind of selfish because it applies to my situation, but hopefully others will gain something from it too.

    So, how does rejection and hurt affect the ENFJ in their future relationships. I have examined myself quite a bit, trying to understand how my divorce/rejection affects how I interact with people today. I can see it, but no idea how to fix or change it. If an ENFJ has gone through really tough times with being let down, cheated on, rejected in past relationships, how does that affect their willingness to risk it again? Maybe this is a universal reaction, not just type related. We all protect ourselves more once we've been hurt, right?

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    256

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    Quote Originally Posted by mystory View Post
    Emapathy is good. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my fears and relationship challenges.
    Silkroad - I know!!! you and I must just think and act alike in these situations. I always feel like you totally understand what I'm saying.

    Maybe I want to find out something else....
    Of course this is all kind of selfish because it applies to my situation, but hopefully others will gain something from it too.

    So, how does rejection and hurt affect the ENFJ in their future relationships. I have examined myself quite a bit, trying to understand how my divorce/rejection affects how I interact with people today. I can see it, but no idea how to fix or change it. If an ENFJ has gone through really tough times with being let down, cheated on, rejected in past relationships, how does that affect their willingness to risk it again? Maybe this is a universal reaction, not just type related. We all protect ourselves more once we've been hurt, right?
    Sure, I think most people protect themselves if they've been hurt. They feel like going inside for a while. Perhaps putting up walls or having firm boundaries for a while. Perhaps some time to process. For me, it doesn't affect my willingness to risk again. I guess I feel that every person and situation is different and the reason that someone didn't work out doesn't mean that someone else won't work out. Sometimes it's just timing and where the other person is in their life, rather than me. If it's me, than the reticence they might about me to me means that we are better off not not being together. I'm an eternal optimist, though. I think that a person's willingness to show their love for another shouldn't be a reason to completely close down if things don't work out the way that you had hoped. In other words, if one situation doesn't work out doesn't mean another one won't. To love is always a risk and the outcome never certain.

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