[ENFJ] ENFJ career and lover? What should I do with my life?

[dee]

Hi, I haven't posted for a long time, and I am sure no one remembers me. Anyway, since I have last posted I have divorced, relocated and dropped out of school.
Now I am trying to get my life back together and I just can't help thinking that maybe others of the same type ( I am an enfj) or that understand mbti might be able to give me some insight for what to do next....

I need advice with 2 things 1) I can't figure out what career to pursue, I want to make a difference, I want to do something that is NOT repetitious, I need something that is constantly new and changing and fast paced. I like science and I enjoy being physically active. I also like working with people. If I could, I would travel the world to 3rd world countries and do my best to assist or be part of the change, but that is not realistic since I have little kiddies to care for on my own right now.

Second thing I need advice about, my love life.... It is pretty bleak at the moment, especially being a single Mom I don't even have the time to go on a date, but I can't stop wondering what it would be like to hook up with another enfj. I want a man that will be open to a partnership, that doesn't believe in the old traditional roles of man and woman. I want someone that could love me as much as I love him. What is your take on an enfj + enfj romantic relationship? Anyone ever try it?

I would really appreciate any help on these issues.
I know you don't really know me, but your advice and input really mean a lot to me, and it will not be taken for granted.

Thanks all!

 

[skylights]

hi! well, i'm not an ENFJ, but i share a few letters i'm also kinda new so i don't remember you, but welcome back!

just reading your description about career preferences, i wonder if you had considered something like physical therapy? i can see an ENFJ being excellent at that.

 

[dee]

Hi skylights!! thanks so much for your reply!!

I have considered it, at one point , I even decided that, thats it!, that will be my career. I keep going back and forth though, but a lot are health related careers, like; radiation therapist, radiologist assistant, nurse practioner or physician assistant, radiology nurse...genetic counsler.. etc.
The only problem is that when I get serious about a certain career, I look at the admissions program, or that I need expierence just to get into the program, and that is kind of discouraging.
Also, I don't like needles, so I don't know if I can do any of this stuff... lol, or if I can just get over it...
I can't decide, also because I don't want something repititious. Till now, all my jobs have been boring office work and I am very detail oriented, so that has been helpful. But, I feel like it's a real damper on my personality.
I am adventurous and bold and just like to be out and about. Very outgoing. I do happen to also love learning and science, so I guess thats where people tend to think of me as a reserved type...
I want to be my total true self, but I feel like bc I have kids and I need to earn a living that I always have to be this "responsible" person.
The song "I want to be free" by queen, is like my song, I feel like I want to break out, but I can't bc I have to be the "responsible Mom"....

Anyway, thanks for your advice and if you have any other thoughts on the subject, I'd be super happy to hear your reply.

Anyone else??? Any input on the subject?

Any love advice??

Thanks :hi:

 

[Curator]

ikm to loopsy from these allergy meds to say anything to useful to help, but I can show support *Huggles* <3

 

[dee]

Thanks Curator!!

 

[Curator]

You're welcome =^_^=

 

[Arclight]

HI..

I am an ENFJ.. I think.. and I am recently divorced recently dropped out of school..

I have not dated an ENFJ.. but I have , INFJs..

I would say the biggest issue was the E/I dynamic.. Otherwise it's pretty awesome relationship potential..

I guess ENFJ/ENFJ might be a solution to this.

You say the key word of "partnership".. I found with introverted NFJs that they are more apt to hold on to their "individuality" and make unilateral decisions.
ENFJ is all about the "US"
SO if that could have been different in my relationships with INFJs.. I am sure I would have only ever had one INFJ and would still be there.
If ENFJ/ENFJ is like INFJ/ENFJ in all the other ways.. I think it's a win/win combo.

 

[dee]

Thanks Arclight!!!!

My ex-husband was an infp which is supposed to be great...My 2 biggest issues with him were the i and the p. He was way too introverted for me,... I wanted to be out and about, meeting people, playing sports, and traveling with him etc.. and all he ever wanted to do was stay home and watch movies.. So I would do what he likes to make him happy, and partially enjoyed it, but I definately would be happier with a man that is as extroverted as myself so that we could have the same interests and enjoy doing the same things...

the p was a problem because I became super responsible to make up for his "first play then work" attitude...Of course that could just be him, and not all "p"s.

Thanks so much for the input...

Now if I could only find a male enfj....

Any more comments on the subject would be greatly appreciated...
Thanks all!!!

 

[Arclight]

I am going to go into social work.. and aim for a job teaching workshops .. Like resume writing and confidence workshops.

ENFJs?? mentoring type roles.. I think that is where you might find a few ..

I was in Pharmacy.. and when my instructor saw my NF test result.. I could see the worry in her eyes..
SO I doubt you will find ENFJ's there too often.

In my case.. I am slightly more socially introverted than I am extroverted.. But maybe a bit more cognitively extroverted than introverted.. I mean I understand I can't figure all this stuff out myself.

I worry, 2 very extroverted ENFJs would suck the energy right out of each other.
On the other hand, I can see how they would feed each other everything they need..

What were you studying?? What would you like to study instead??

 

[dee]

Hi Arclight!

Well, to answer your question, I had decided back then after much debate to get a business administration degree, and hopefully use it for a career in Human Resources....At the time it was just the easiest thing to do but I wasn't super happy about it...
Now I am just going to get a liberal arts degree and build on that...
I am very extroverted, so I always tried to find something with that, but my only problem is that I don't have the confidence for public speaking... When I have taught or given over something, everyone always liked it, but I sweat just thinking about getting up in front of an audience.
I also really like sports, and working out, but besides being a physical trainer, there really aren't a lot of choices. And I wouldn't be able to make enough money doing that.
I also thought about going into disaster management for a while, but then found out that the pay is not that great, and that it is very hard to find a job...so that went out the window..lol
Lately I have been thinking the nursing route might be for me, as later in life, when all my kids are grown I could be a travel nurse, and travel on the expense of my employer to all kinds of different places. Plus I could use my expertise to do stints in 3rd world countries, like I've always wanted to.
Like I said before, the only reason I don't know if I could do it is bc of the needles, but besides that, it definately has the people factor, and also I could always move around in different areas, which would keep it interesting...

As far as my love life.. I still want to find a fellow enfj to love...

 

[Lily flower]

The problem with two ENFJ's is that there are two people who want to be in the spotlight, and no one in the audience. I have found that ENFJ's click well as friends, but don't really click with each other romantically, because they are both so larger than life. ENFJ's seem to need an introverted soul who is not interested in the spotlight to bask in the glow. Also, with 2 ENFJ's, no one would balance the budget.