I've been studying the types for about a week or two, trying to type and figure myself out.
I recently realized a horrible inclination I have. Could be related to my type (which I don't even know right now) but I would hate to blame it on that. It's just me and it needs help.
I tend to seek out the negative in people. It might be when I spend too much time alone or too much time thinking, because generally when I am being social and interacting with people, it doesn't happen as much.
Example: Went dancing with a small group of friends this past weekend. After a few drinks I finally loosened up and was able to dance and not feel awkward. I ended up dancing and kissing this guy. If I were watching me, I would assume we were both really into each other. I didn't really feel anything for him, I was just doing it because it was happening. And I was drinking so I wasn't really thinking about it too much. Eventually he told me that we should go somewhere, lalala. And I ended it with I don't do that. Basically, I was giving him all the signs physically. Then verbally saying: sorry, I am not the type of person to just sleep with anyone and have higher standards than you. I realize now that I just assumed he has low standards and ugh I don't know. I feel like I said it in an insensitive way which was not necessary at all.
It's like I'm always assuming that people should improve. Or thinking in my head what they could do better. With that guy, it was like I led him to believe we were on the same page, and then just shattered it by giving the image that I was better than him.
Maybe this is my way of dealing with my own insecurities?
It seems as though the root of the problem is that I look down on people. The only people that would confirm this are very close friends, because I doubt people would suspect I'm that way. I think I give off the "sweet" exterior.
I want to change this but I'm not sure how.
And I don't want to place blame - but both of my parents are like this. I am the youngest of 4 and hardly hear anything positive about my older siblings from my parents. My sense of entitlement might come from the fact that I always tried to be good so my parents wouldn't say anything bad about me...like I had heard them say about my siblings.
Can anyone relate. Or give me a good slap in the face?