I've been searching around for awhile for some help on a problem I have with an INFJ guy when I noticed some similar threads on here that had some really great replies. I have a friend that I'm really interested in, but I can't tell how he feels because he's SO INFJ. I'm not sure how coherently I can explain all this, but please bear with me
We've been friends for several months now and we hang out with the same group a lot. I'm really comfortable with the other guys in the group and we joke and talk a lot more than the INFJ guy and I do. He usually hangs out more with a couple of the other girls. From the beginning of our group though, he and I have always acted differently around each other, almost avoiding each other entirely at times and then having great conversations other times (usually when it's just me and him). He'll regularly avoids me for half the day and then the rest of the day act like I'm the only person in the world.
**So question 1: is that normal for guy INFJs? He's usually super nice and I'm the only person he's like this to (the ignoring part). It gets to the point of being almost insulting how he'll ignore me at times. But then he does a 180 and talks to me the rest of the day!
Our whole group works at the same place as (very low paid) volunteers at a non-profit, so hours are long (50-60+) and money is tight, and we all help each other out when we can. I have a little more money for groceries than he does, and I've given him a standing offer of me getting his groceries sometime. He took me up on the offer once, offered to pick me up (on the other side of town), took me out to coffee first at a farmer's market, then afterwards we window shopped at a really nice mall (half an hour away, which considering gas prices, was a big deal) and had lunch. It was all his initiative. I'm not certain, but I want to say that I'm the only girl he ever really hangs out with alone. We've gone grocery shopping since then too, and one time I'm pretty sure he just wanted to go out with me, regardless of if I could help him with groceries or not.
**Question 2: is this just him being nice or trying to show interest? I've driven him around a lot before and he's tried to get my gas in return, but I wouldn't let him (I'm really stubborn when it comes to people paying me back for things, but I'm getting better, because he seemed rather upset that I wouldn't let him).
We had a break over Christmas and when we got back things seemed different. We talked a couple times at work, but when I'd text him over the weekend to hang out with our group he would never respond. (To clarify, the group usually ends up at his apt, and I always text him to find out the details of what's going on. This time he's just not responded to me at all, even though I knew they were doing stuff). Even when I asked him in person what he was doing that night and if he wanted to go out, he said he was crashing early, when really he ended up going out. Last week we talked and hung out a lot at work and he paid a lot of attention to me. A lot more than he pays to the other girls in our group. And he gave me a hug (albeit an awkward side hug) when I left his apt Sat night (but none of the other girls leaving then too), which is kinda a big deal because he's definitely not a touchy person and rarely initiates hugs with people. We didn't have to be at work until late this Friday because of the weather, so I asked if he wanted to hang out Thursday night. His response was "who is this" :/ I'm temporarily on a different phone and not everyone has my number, but I've texted him before so he should've had it. I told him who it was but then he never texted anything back. When I saw him at work Friday though he looked beyond exhausted, so I'm wondering if he just ignored me because he was so tired? I know he really shuts down and needs alone time when he's tired, but he didn't even respond with 'no' after I said it was me. He's known to be horrible about texting/calling people back, but it came across as really rude and like he just didn't want to talk to me.
**Question 3: why is he now talking to me at work, completely ignoring me socially, and then hangs out with me all weekend and acts like he likes me, and then goes back to ignoring me??
I'm also an INFJ, so it's really hard for me to show him how I feel and him not just think I'm being nice. It really just goes back and forth with lots of eye-gazing that neither of us acknowledge the other is doing because we're such awkward people, and then we just start ignoring each other again.
I'm sorry if this was long, or confusing, but I'm really at a loss as to what to do, and I'd love some feedback on if this guy might like me, and if so what should I do about it? Or is he just a nice guy who wants to be my friend? Or if he's being a jerk by going back and forth so much with me and I should just drop it? Despite being an INFJ as well, this guy confuses me so much, but I really REALLY like him.