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  1. #1
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default Another NF crises. Box placers wanted.

    Hello all you intuitive feelers. Just joined today, and hoping to get some possible clarification on my own personal identity crises. (Imagine that

    I've followed the mbti deal for a while now. Got into it from some of Jungs writings a few years back. And while I have no doubt of my "NFP-ness", I can't seem to decide if I am an innie or an outtie. Thats right. That boring old I/E crises. And to be honest, I think I've read just about every introvert vs extrovert analysis available. It only seems to add to my confusion. So heres the deal. I'm hoping that one of you penetratingly astute observers may be able to box me in based on my writing style or context or whatever. Sounds crazy right? Ya, but I don't care. I want that nice, comfortable, clearly defined box, for just once in my life. =) So if you find yourself patient enough to endure through this boring and narcicistic rambling, you are indeed a humanitarian and your thoughts much appreciated.

    I type as an ENFP. Moderatly extroverted. And ya, I *seem* to get my energy from people. I'm talkative, outspoken, social, usually engaging, etc. But about a year ago I took a job from home. And perhaps thats whats got me in a tizzy. But what I've noticed is that other ENFP's tend to irritate me. I think that alot of their ideas are surface level, lacking in any real depth, thus true understanding. I also find them to be over assumptive attention whores. Now before anyone gets their feathers ruffled, I realize that in no way does this sum up ALL ENFP's. I'm going off the 2 that I know. But it just seems like their need for the spotlight makes them do really off the wall things at times that comes across as counter productive for any real sincerity or authenticity. Again, just my perception. Maybe I'm just a crusty ole snag =)

    Though I type as an E, I tend to follow INFP's better (on paper atleast). I will read their thoughts/blogs etc. and it hits really close to home. I've taken the cognitive functions tests but have alot of doubts on the validity of theory as I seem to score higher on Ne, Ni, Fe, Fi, and Ti than any of the others. I even came across an introverted/extroverted hand writing analysis that claims Introverts will emphasize a space between words but jumble the letters of the words together, while Extroverts will space their letters more clearly but not leave such gaps between words. Who knows...

    Things about me: I follow politics religiously, hate authority (libertarian), and LOVE to debate. Only to move ideas around, not to get nasty or hurt feelings. I can write and speak equally well. I am outspoken. I have an opinion on everything. I love books and movies. I am pre occupied with health physically and mentally. I like satirical comedy. Near death research. I tend to be attracted to INFJ's & INTJ's, though INFJ's will eventually make me feel trapped, and INTJ's dont stick around long per "irrational emotional outbursts" and lack of logic. When I debate I will often look carefully at text book word definitions and base my argument there. I like to research what interests me. I like to research everything. I will sometimes plan out loud what I want to say to someone, but end up going with the moment. I would rather deal head on with a problem than ignore it. I cant bare to be around people with tension in the air. I'd so much rather throw it out there and talk thru a problem then leave it looming. I will usually bring up any problem I feel, unless I think it cant be resolved. Then I procrastinate. I cant stand anyone seeing me down and out or weak, and will usually recluse before I ask for help. I am in a long term relationship with an INTP.. but he is very border ISTP and its not a combination I'd reccomend. I am forgiving to a fault at others actions to me, but can hold a mighty grudge if you hurt someone i love. I am usually the first to engage in groups at parties. I will talk to quite a few people but prefer to find someone on the level and have a good deep conversation. I can talk about anything with anyone for a short period of time, but if their interest are too different from mine I'll get bored quickly. Ive heard this stigma about ENFP's, oh how can I say this nicely.... their tramps lol. Honestly not judging, I just cant pull it off. I HAVE to be emotionally or mentally connected to someone to find them attractive. Trust is a really big deal to me, and I wont reveal myself fully until I trust fully. My trust is not just given, its earned. This is specifically in relationships. I will be friends with almost anyone. When I am interested in someone I have tended to create situations and watch their responce to see how fully I can trust them. This sound really bad, maybe it is, or maybe its just self preserving.

    Okay, I've rambled long enough.

    What is your "intuitive feeling" on my type? =P

  2. #2
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    Well my intuitive feeling on your type is an introvert, but before we confirm that a few questions need to be asked , ahem *cough lets start :
    1) Do you by any chance need to ask someone for help whenever you have a problem? (meaning do you usually ask anyone and everyone , go into detail too, or keep it all to yourself and those you specifically trust?)
    2) Being outspoken really doesn't define an introvert or extrovert as it can easily be also due to influence. So the real question is, do you always speak your mind or only when given the chance? (no that doesn't seem right) hmm....something better would be......well I think we can cross out this point then
    3) Do you love spending time by yourself? (I mean take walks alone, read, watch some drama/soap opera, without having friends around screeching their thoughts like vultures (no offense intended to anyone just couldn't stop myself ^^)
    4) Do you feel exhausted after a party? I mean that your general patience that you keep for handling people has just run out? (this is usually after a party filled with very shallow idiots (again no offense and I am not talking about any type, just my personal experience )
    5) Do you need to talk to someone every day? (a friend on the phone, ) or can you survive without talking or listening to anyone for one day? Do you love gatherings or just enjoying your day with only one or two people?

    Well after you answer all these then we could have a much clearer view.....
    Sorry I replied so late, but honestly your topic sentence threw me off for days......(I thought boxers meant......well the things people wear)
    Hope you read this~
    Mysterious15

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    I was thinking I might be an E as well despite, a life time of being a loner.
    I get confused at times as to how I behave with people I care about, and those I don't so much.

    Anyway, my counselor asked me 2 questions that pretty much sealed the deal.
    After telling him my life story he asked me.
    "why do you never accept the invitations to go out after work with your workmates?"

    My answer is because after 8 hours of wearing a mask, I just want to get away from people. At that point about the only person I can usually tolerate is my partner, and even then, at some point I will need some time alone.

    He then asked me. "So on those rare occasions when you do go out with people, other than your partner or close friend,meaning multiple people, after the planned activity is complete. Do you crave more action? Like if you went to a concert, do you say "yes" if someone suggests coffee or a beer?

    My answer; If someone I have the hots for, is going?, maybe. If I am also with my partner , or a best type of friend, and they find it important and would like me to accompany them, then most likely. However if no love interest is involved? 99% of the time, I go home. If I live with people? I walk. Just so I can collect my thoughts.

    That is introversion.

    When I am with people, I am often fully turned on and accessible, I just can't keep it up forever.Even if I love them.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    You sound like an "E" to me -- you go to groups first at parties, you don't looooove working from home, and just because you like hanging out with introverts doesn't mean you are one necessarily. I remember reading a thread on here where everyone was asked if they'd rather hang out with an introvert or an extrovert. All the introverts said introverts, and around half (or more?) of the extroverts said introvert. Now this isn't scientific or anything, but I don't think that enjoying INFJs and INFPs makes you an introvert.

    What do you do for fun? Do you throw parties? What is a tiring day for you?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysterious15 View Post
    Well my intuitive feeling on your type is an introvert, but before we confirm that a few questions need to be asked , ahem *cough lets start :
    1) Do you by any chance need to ask someone for help whenever you have a problem? (meaning do you usually ask anyone and everyone , go into detail too, or keep it all to yourself and those you specifically trust?)
    2) Being outspoken really doesn't define an introvert or extrovert as it can easily be also due to influence. So the real question is, do you always speak your mind or only when given the chance? (no that doesn't seem right) hmm....something better would be......well I think we can cross out this point then
    3) Do you love spending time by yourself? (I mean take walks alone, read, watch some drama/soap opera, without having friends around screeching their thoughts like vultures (no offense intended to anyone just couldn't stop myself ^^)
    4) Do you feel exhausted after a party? I mean that your general patience that you keep for handling people has just run out? (this is usually after a party filled with very shallow idiots (again no offense and I am not talking about any type, just my personal experience )
    5) Do you need to talk to someone every day? (a friend on the phone, ) or can you survive without talking or listening to anyone for one day? Do you love gatherings or just enjoying your day with only one or two people?

    Well after you answer all these then we could have a much clearer view.....
    Sorry I replied so late, but honestly your topic sentence threw me off for days......(I thought boxers meant......well the things people wear)
    Hope you read this~
    Mysterious15
    Wow.. thanks for responding! I am new to forums in general.. and just threw this in the personals before i realized i could get more hits other places, lol. So, with a bit of help from others they've tagged me an ENFP.. but I'm not really convinced of it. At first I just didn't believe someone could be 50/50 on it.. but now I almost do. According to jung, its some kind of subject/ojbect relation.. but don't know.

    1) Do you by any chance need to ask someone for help whenever you have a problem? (meaning do you usually ask anyone and everyone , go into detail too, or keep it all to yourself and those you specifically trust?)

    I don't ask people for help very often. I am really capeable of doing almost anything on my own. But I ask for LOTS of advice. Infact, every time I have a real problem.. (not just an obstacle but like a REAL problem) I get others input, and usually do like a variety of input.

    2) Being outspoken really doesn't define an introvert or extrovert as it can easily be also due to influence. So the real question is, do you always speak your mind or only when given the chance? (no that doesn't seem right) hmm....something better would be......well I think we can cross out this point then
    I do not wait to be asked for my opinion. I usually throw it out there. Its harder for me to keep it to myself than to share it. I am known to throw out opinions regarldess of how shocking or ill received they are.. but there are times that I will not do this, usually professionally when I don't think others really "get me."

    3) Do you love spending time by yourself? (I mean take walks alone, read, watch some drama/soap opera, without having friends around screeching their thoughts like vultures (no offense intended to anyone just couldn't stop myself ^^)
    LOL! I know exactly what your talking about.. and I do LOVE spending time alone. I will always try to get someone to come with me to talk.. but if not I still LOVE walks alone. I ride my bike alone for exercise, to be out in the sun and listen to my ipod.. its sooo therapuetic. I love reading by myself, but I love to SHARE reading too.. I love to read outloud to someone by me. I love to watch movies but again prefer to do it with like 1 or 2 other people I'm close to. I can hang out with friends and family in big groups and watch a flick also. It depends on my mood i guess.

    4) Do you feel exhausted after a party? I mean that your general patience that you keep for handling people has just run out?

    I generally feel very charged after socializing. I usually want the group to carry on and do something else when others want to leave =/ I come home and have a hard time sleeping because my mind is running. Its very rare that socializing drags on me.. but it has happened a few times.

    5) Do you need to talk to someone every day? (a friend on the phone, ) or can you survive without talking or listening to anyone for one day? Do you love gatherings or just enjoying your day with only one or two people?

    I definately prefer it. I do talk to someone every day. If I don't I start to feel really sad and alone. I can do it, or I could do it from time to time.. but I wouldnt want to. I used to be really really social (i'm 30 now) but like, prior to 28 the more people i talked to and texted and bs'd with.. the better. In the last two years I've calmed down ALOT. I used to value the quantity of people in my life.. now i really value the quality of people.. and just like to be around those i connect with.

    I don't know.. what do you think?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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    Ah! I got it!
    Now I know why my brain was saying 'E' while some second-guessing part of my heart 'I'
    Its because you said that you make deep/close relationships with other people, also that you don't really make that many friends with extroverts who are a bit shallow.
    My friend is an extrovert, and she just loves to hang out with others to 'have a good time'
    while you wrote that you can't stand people like that.... (I mean only have fun and forget about them later)
    Well I found what Arclight wrote very interesting......really he only asked you those two questions? I wish I knew that before it would have saved me a lot of trouble.......

    Also mochajava, you are completely right in that point, hanging out with introverts does not mean you are an introvert, an example is that extrovert friend I was talking about, she has been best friends with me since second grade, is a little shy at first but definitely an extrovert. While I am an introvert.

    Your welcome Huxley3112, I haven't read your reply yet (was too excited to post my reasons) so I will reply again soon....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysterious15 View Post
    Ah! I got it!
    Now I know why my brain was saying 'E' while some second-guessing part of my heart 'I'
    Its because you said that you make deep/close relationships with other people, also that you don't really make that many friends with extroverts who are a bit shallow.
    My friend is an extrovert, and she just loves to hang out with others to 'have a good time'
    while you wrote that you can't stand people like that.... (I mean only have fun and forget about them later)
    Well I found what Arclight wrote very interesting......really he only asked you those two questions? I wish I knew that before it would have saved me a lot of trouble.......

    Also mochajava, you are completely right in that point, hanging out with introverts does not mean you are an introvert, an example is that extrovert friend I was talking about, she has been best friends with me since second grade, is a little shy at first but definitely an extrovert. While I am an introvert.

    Your welcome Huxley3112, I haven't read your reply yet (was too excited to post my reasons) so I will reply again soon....
    Well he did go on to explain how it's case of how we derive our energy. Some people seem to feel if you enjoy the company of others that makes you an extrovert. This is of course not true. Jung Himself said; even introverts get a charge from being around people. It's just a case of how much of a charge , how many people and how often. The greater those numbers, the more likely you are an extrovert.

    And it wasn't so much his questions but rather my answers that were revealing.

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    After reading your answer to my questions, I deduce you are an introvert, the same reasons as before, I also love to talk to people who get me, and I always throw opinions in front of my family because I know even though they will stamp on my statements harshly, they won't spread rumors/stay away like other people might.
    The taking walks alone, listening to your ipod and reading out loud can be both extroverted or introverted, so we will have to get more facts to judge fairly (because even extroverts like to do these things I am sure)
    Now my party question should have been, do you feel exhausted after a party when people are talking about things that don't interest you? Or there is no one you can have a long, intellectual discussion with? (for me the topics are: make up, idols, and the latest movies......jeez I don't care about those things! ) so I end up going home feeling like I ran a marathon, while if there was someone I talked with for a long time, or even a small group about something meaningful or very interesting to me, I go home as you put it 'charged'
    As for no. 5 I don't talk to anyone everyday (friends I mean) because I know one of them is very busy, and I just don't want to bother with the others.....BUT I do reply to lots of messages I get online, and enjoy myself immensely even though its from different people.......so the question should be...... Do you like talking to just anyone everyday? Or would you rather they be close friends? (by anyone I mean those people who will just walk off whenever they want)

    And done!
    Hope this all helps, and if anyone found loopholes in my reasoning (I am sure there are many) please tell! I want to expand my thinking ability and listen to new ideas, plus correct myself where I am wrong.....
    p.s: All of the above is from my own experiences and are all my own theories........so there is around 75% chance of it being wrong.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    So what the hell am I? Am I E or I or somewhere in between? Is that even possible!? Ah the hysteria.... lol. No really guys.. what do you think?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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    That is very true Arclight, even introverts enjoy company it just depends on the numbers and how charged you get as you put it
    Well I say introvert, if anyone has an objection please say so I would really like to correct myself if I am wrong.... ^^
    Nobody is evil, nobody is wrong, nobody hates you; but yourself.


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