I know that I've had to really do a lot of soul searching regarding my refusal to disengage when I get the ignore, doorslam, etc. Whether I deserve it or not (and since I'm a perfect person, I know I've never deserved it before. <Insert self-effacing expression here.> ), I guess I feel like ignoring someone or doorslamming them is morally wrong on some level. In other words, the very act of ignoring me violates one of my deeply held Fi values. I feel it largely selfish to ignore a person rather than confront the situation head on. It is a sign of respect and thoughtfulness for another person's well-being to tell them that you're having a problem with them, even if it is sometimes unpleasant to do this.
I've come to understand the Fe ignore sooooo much better in the past six months and now I think I'd respond a little differently. But this is how I responded beforehand. And this is why I might feel free to ignore the ignore.
Ignoring the ignore doesn't always fair so well for me. Why do I do this? 'Cause usually I instantly pick up on the ignoring / silent response. But then I choose to bypass it. In fact, there's a part of me that relishes bypassing it. Which maybe isn't me at my best. This is probably driven by my Fi not wanting anything to impinge upon its self-expression.
If I'm completely honest with myself, there is this little 8th grader inside of me that says (while stomping her foot), "Well screw them. Why should I respect their boundaries when they've treated me so disrespectfully that they would ignore my feelings and well-being by ignoring me."
I only bring this up because I think it important to understand what's going on in the head of the person who is ramping up the dialogue in the face of increasing silence. I think Fi and Fe users have differing answers to these questions:
Why does silence not always work? When does it work? Why do Fe users and Fi users choose to ignore a silent response. Or maybe sometimes they don't see it because it's delivered in a manner that they don't understand.
So back to Orobas' situation, it sounds like the mother-in-law's increasing bluntness is causing her stress. So how does one stop this dynamic from happening when you find yourself stuck in this kind of situation. What would you say to the other party in order to re-orient the conversation to a more productive level? Would you take a different tack depending on if the person was an Fi or an Fe user?
I don't have the answers to these questions, but I feel like they are worth asking.