That's interesting. I think its very important for Fe-ers to explicitly define their boundaries so we all know how to meet their needs (or at least know when to feel guilty when we fail to do so ). Again this is more about dom/aux because I've noticed a lot of Fe ter/inf users have problems recognising the boundaries too.I am quite outspoken (in my thoughts and in private company) about my opinions on their behaviour though. Behaviour and the person themselves are somehow distinct for me in some regards, even though I highly value integrity. One of my biggest problems in fact tends to be that once I have figured out the cause of their bad behaviour, I tend to excuse more than I should or not draw firm boundaries for what I will and won't accept. Over time, I've discovered that it is much kinder to have those boundaries clear and draw them earlier than I am naturally inclined to, so that I don't become resentful with them and so that they don't feel criticized or condemned.
I might be reading too much into this but do you sometimes feel like sympathising too much with the individual in question will cloud your judgement and detract from the matter at hand?