User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 31

Thread: ENFJ bluntness?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    931

    Default ENFJ bluntness?

    This is not in reference to my SO, but another ENFJ who is my friend. He is usually encouraging, and interesting to talk to, but then every once and a while he will say something that is really blunt, and in my opinion rude. Usually it has to do with some area I am interested in, and he will say something really dismissive. Or if we have a difference of opinion, he will state his, like it is the only opinion in the whole world and everyone who thinks otherwise is stupid.

    Do other ENFJ's do this? Should I point out that he is being dismissive or just ignore it?

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    i know an ENFJ who also does this occasionally. not often, but enough that i've noticed. i find that usually it's when he's not good at whatever i am talking about, or disapproves of it in some way. i used to get pissed about it (sometimes still do), but eventually i just pointed it out, and now it's kind of a joke between us. he knows when he's doing it but i don't think he previously realized that it actually hurt me internally... i think in his mind it's just more him deciding something isn't important and i shouldn't be affected by that. i dunno. usually i'll defend my opinion/stance/like because i want him to at least see why, and not just blow it off.

    i wish i had something more helpful to say but i thought i'd mention this anyway

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    I am Blunt.. It's probably my downfall.. I believe people when they say the truth is important to them, and it normally is.. until it's a truth about them.
    Then the rules change.
    In person I think I am much less blunt than online.. and people who know both sides of me agree, that I can come across as rather to the point,and blunt online.

    I am also very dismissive if I think a central point is being ignored, I have hard time listening to someone go on, if they refuse to listen to what's important to me. I try to be fair and at least meet people half way.
    But If I feel there is no attempt to bridge the gap. I dismiss everything that is thrown at me until the compromise is ready to be met.. once the compromise is met am I ready to listen to changing the value form 50/50 to either direction .. The truth is the most importnat thing. Even if it hurts

  4. #4
    Junior Member chocolatethundaa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7
    Socionics
    ENFP
    Posts
    24

    Default

    Im not sure of ENFJ's but I know that im horrifically blunt sometimes and it hurts a lot of people who i could never imagine hurting purposefully

  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    9,635

    Default

    FJ bluntness sounds like an oximoron to me. lol anyway, I guess I wish people were more blunt. it just makes it a bigger deal when people try to be all emotional with things.

  6. #6
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    I can be really blunt esp. when I don't think it's personally (or directly) related to anyone or we are just talking about ideas (I know how to distance a person from their ideas so I am usually just criticizing the idea and not the person). Also, if I don't see a really negative consequence, I will say whatever the heck I want. It's ironic though that when I am being blunt, people generalize what I say to everything else. I have to say that I perceive ENFPs to be consistently more blunt than I am. Oh about the "dismissing" thing, I tend to do that when I am tired or annoyed. However, I usually listen to people even if I completely think they are in the wrong. I can see other perspectives quite easily even if I am morally opposed.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Tbh, EnfP types are way better at telling it like it is. Ne notices something and can't help but show it to everyone, they have to point out the elephant in the room, ESFP's even more so.

    Enfj types usually will have Fe stopping them from expressing the truth being afraid its something that might hurt the person, or to them it seems like an attack, and then they feel bad they said it.

  8. #8
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    I have experienced this with my ENFJ male friend. I guess I chalked it up to NFJ senso-tardness.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #9
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Something like "were you dropped on your head?" (in all seriousness). It was asked by a male ENFJ. I have never quite been that bad w/ bluntness. lol
    Last edited by Glycerine; 01-31-2011 at 12:14 PM.

  10. #10
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    I think JoSunshine's post in the "What Types Make You Shut Down" directly relates to the ENFJ bluntness:
    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    I do know for a fact that some people very uncomfortable. I am very direct and ask penetrating questions. Sometimes I will preface it with, "You don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable..." but other times, I don't realize I have gone too far until I see people's reactions. I think things that seem benign to me (questions about people's emotions, ideals and motives) feel very personal or is something that the other person doesn't want to think about and sometime I think they may feel judged by me. I might say something like, "You think that X person doesn't like you anymore, so you are withdrawing. But aren't you creating the exact situation you fear? Being abandoned by X person? Why are you afraid to talk to them about the situation?" Things like this are waaaaaaay too much for some people. I sincerely don't mean anything negative by it. There are no underlying judgments. I'm just asking questions about something that seems apparent to me. But the other person just want to say, "X person is being a jerk." and move on. I get that...sometime it just takes a bit to figure out other people's limits.
    Last edited by Glycerine; 01-31-2011 at 12:13 PM.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 548
    Last Post: 03-03-2016, 02:16 AM
  2. [ENFJ] What are nice ENFJs like?
    By miss fortune in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 08-29-2011, 04:45 AM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJ self-image as exemplary human being
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 04:35 PM
  4. [ENFJ] ENFJ: Talk About Yourself!
    By Usehername in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 167
    Last Post: 03-24-2010, 01:09 AM
  5. [ENFJ] Positive Qualities of ENFJs
    By INTJMom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 08-06-2008, 06:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO