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Thread: ENFJ bluntness?

  1. #11
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    But other times, I don't realize I have gone too far until I see people's reactions. I think things that seem benign to me (questions about people's emotions, ideals and motives) feel very personal or is something that the other person doesn't want to think about and sometime I think they may feel judged by me.
    Yeah!! This is spot on..

    Something very similar happened last week at work.

    There is a girl who works there who is very friendly and attention hungry, to the point of interrupting other people's conversations.
    She often interrupts "guy talk" with statements like .."You guys are so gross"
    Last week she walked in on me and another guy right when I was answering one of his questions about sexual relationships.
    She made some comment., I still don't remember what I was talking about, her interruption broke my train of thought, and I responded
    By saying.. "But you don't even like sex".
    I said this in the same way I would answer someone who interrupted a conversation about Hockey and was obviously not fan.

    Of course someones sexuality is a bit more touchy.

    She didn't deny it.. But became very upset that I actually knew this about her.
    She would not accept my answer of "I just know"
    And at one point actually accused me of somehow reading her diary.
    She cried the rest of the night and wont even look at me now.

    She did not at all enjoy the idea that I could see her secret.
    I was a bloody idiot for speaking before thinking..

  2. #12
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    When people ask for my opinion I tell them how I really feel....and they dont always like my answer. Why ask me then?! lol.

  3. #13
    Junior Member Tricksie's Avatar
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    I'm honest, but never hurtful. I tend to be able to express things in ways that take care of people's feelings, at the same time that I'm not hiding my own opinions.

    So, nope, not all ENFJs are blunt. I don't think anyone would say that about me.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tricksie View Post
    I'm honest, but never hurtful. I tend to be able to express things in ways that take care of people's feelings, at the same time that I'm not hiding my own opinions.

    So, nope, not all ENFJs are blunt. I don't think anyone would say that about me.
    That is a very useful gift..I can say the right thing 99% of time normally... until I have to say to someone close to me, that they broke some kind of agreement we made.
    No matter what I do or say then It seems I can't be both honest and take care of their feelings ,,

    So what's your secret?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    An anecdote comes to mind between my ENFJ best friend and an ESFP friend.

    We, including the ENFJ, were all waiting in line to get into a club. And, we see the ESFP friend approaching, as she came later with another group. She was obviously sashaying as she walked towards us, lips puckered, model-catwalk on. She isn't like that normally, but, because of the audience [the line-up at the club, with gaggles of boys], she put on the act.

    ENFJ friend from the end of the line, shouting to approaching ESFP friend: Why does your face look like that? Are you constipated?

    ESFP, in an instant, drops the act, thoroughly embarrassed, as she scurries/runs towards us, trying to now be, unnoticed.

    LMFAO!

  6. #16
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I would totally do something like that^. I do have a tenancy to call people out when I feel like they are putting on an act...usually I call them out with humor.

    I'm also known to say to people who frequently interrupt, "I'm speaking." For some reason this always elicits chuckles in a group...I'm not sure why other than because it is so blunt.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

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  7. #17
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ i can TOTALLY see my ENFJ bff doing that.

    probably the group also chuckles because they are appreciative that you have the balls to point it out... like, that's why it comes out as a nervous-positive chuckle instead of a "wtf" reaction.

  8. #18
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    You're probably right, because I usually to get a surprised (but not offended) vibe as well.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  9. #19
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    So interesting to read this thread. My initial reaction upon reading the OP was that when I see my ENFJ friend show bluntness, or maybe caustic viewpoint is a better description, it is nearly always with humor as a conduit. Then some other posts said pretty much the same thing. He is a very considerate person, likes for people to get along, and enjoys contributing to a positive atmosphere. His humor is one of his charming qualities that makes people enjoy his presence and flock to him. But if you know him well, and he feels comfortable, or is in some certain circumstance, his biting commentary about other people or his acerbic take on things can take you by surprise. No doubt, he can offer up some withering disdain of somebody's perceived ignorance, and not show a sign of it towards them (if thats his prerogative). Yet it manages not to overtake or corrode him, he remains a good person and a true idealist. The only thing it made me question was what might he be saying about me.
    Last edited by Vasilisa; 02-03-2011 at 11:47 AM.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    The only thing it made me question was what might he be saying about me.
    Yeah...I don't mind when he's blunt with other people...I usually think it is funny. Not so funny when it is pointed at me, though.

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