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  1. #31
    Parody Parrot meowington's Avatar
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    4 Words of Affirmation
    5 Quality Time
    5 Receiving Gifts
    9 Acts of Service
    7 Physical Touch

    Weird quiz if you ask me. They all seem important.

  2. #32
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Mine are quality time, words of affirmation and the other stuff. Can't remember the order of the other stuff. Gifts are not a big thing for me.

    I was just wondering if physical touch is usually higher in the hierarchy for guys because in western culture they can't really get touch much outside of a romantic situation. Not being touched is very bad for humans.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #33
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    I was initially a bit irritated by this framework because from what I saw, it's relentlessly hetero in its presentation (the quiz I saw and took asked for my gender, then if I didn't check single, incorrectly gendered my partner as male/husband.)

    But I actually think it's a pretty useful tool despite that flaw.

    My top two were quality time and physical touch. Pretty much a tie between them.
    Dead last (least important) for me: gifts
    I don't remember the rest.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I was just wondering if physical touch is usually higher in the hierarchy for guys because in western culture they can't really get touch much outside of a romantic situation. Not being touched is very bad for humans.
    FWIW, physical touch is pretty much tied with quality time at the top for both me and my (INFP, if it matters) partner, and we're both women.

  5. #35
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    FWIW, physical touch is pretty much tied with quality time at the top for both me and my (INFP, if it matters) partner, and we're both women.
    It certainly can be for women. But it seems like it's *always* in the top one or two for men. Or that's my perception. Women are all over the place comparatively.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It certainly can be for women. But it seems like it's *always* in the top one or two for men. Or that's my perception. Women are all over the place comparatively.
    Ah, I get it now. I did a very quick Duck Duck Go search on gender and love and found this, which may relate to what you're exploring on this point (I didn't watch the video, just read the text, though):

    "A lot of men would say to me, 'Oh, I know my love language' -- even before they read the book," Dr. Chapman says in this clip. "They just see the five [and say], 'Oh I'm Physical Touch.' And I say, 'Well maybe, but let me ask you a couple of questions. Do non-sexual touches make you feel loved?' And they look at me like a deer in the headlights."
    Not sure if or how that relates, but it seemed like it might be of interest somehow re your thoughts/observations..

  7. #37
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    Ah, I get it now. I did a very quick Duck Duck Go search on gender and love and found this, which may relate to what you're exploring on this point (I didn't watch the video, just read the text, though):



    Not sure if or how that relates, but it seemed like it might be of interest somehow re your thoughts/observations..
    It's definitely possible. I tried the quiz link in the article and I wanted to slap somebody. Most of the statements strike me as so whiney and unappreciative. Bleh. And definitely highly hetero-normative. I'm straight and it bothered me, it was so bad.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It's definitely possible. I tried the quiz link in the article and I wanted to slap somebody. Most of the statements strike me as so whiney and unappreciative. Bleh.
    You know, that's a good way to put it IMO.

    And definitely highly hetero-normative. I'm straight and it bothered me, it was so bad.
    I hear you!

  9. #39
    Senior Member autumnandtherain's Avatar
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    Mine is quality time, physical touch, followed closely by words of affirmation, then acts of service, then gifts.

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