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Thread: INFJs and the 5 languages of love

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array MonkeyGrass's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    Mine are constantly switching order, depending on my current life demands...

    In the busy, hectic parenthood phase of life, it's been:

    1-Quality time (someone who will talk forever with me about interesting things that matter to me)
    2- Touch (the reassuring, non-grabby, non-toddler kind)
    3- Gifts...anything that says "I know you well enough to predict what will totally make you smile today." That's like, the gift of being known well. Why isn't that an option? That would be my INFJ holy grail.
    4-Words of Affirmation- something insightful, something that expresses that you appreciate what I a quiet, sincere, private way.
    5- Acts of service. I suppose I enjoy having someone bake me brownies or paint my bathroom for me. Yes, I'll take that.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  2. #22


    i dont fully remember the percentages but :
    1 and 2 Physical touch and quality time: were both 30%
    3. words of affirmation: ?
    4. acts of service : ?
    5. gifts - was 0%

  3. #23
    Senior Member Array kyli_ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    2wX so/sx


    My order was:

    1. Quality Time
    2. Acts of Service
    3. Physical Touch
    4. Words of Affirmation
    5. Receiving Gifts

    Nothing surprising there

  4. #24


    What does that thread tell us? Spend some proper one-on-one time with your INFJ and give him/her a good genuine hug and you are on your best way to their heart.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Array ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Aug 2010


    3 Words of Affirmation
    9 Quality Time
    6 Receiving Gifts
    5 Acts of Service
    7 Physical Touch

  6. #26
    Senior Member Array Digital Demi-Fiend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007


    Your Scores
    5 Words of Affirmation
    10 Quality Time
    2 Receiving Gifts
    3 Acts of Service
    10 Physical Touch

  7. #27
    Another awesome member. Array Curator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    took a 5 languages of love test, and got pretty much exactly the score I thought id get...
    #1: Quality time-10 pts
    #2: Physical Touch-9 pts
    #3: Words of Affirmation-7 pts (that they actually mean of course, empty words are...well, empty.)
    #4: Acts of service-3 points
    #5: Receiving Gifts-1 pt (I do like receiving gifts, but I just really prefer things that are really thoughtful, something that somebody made their self would be far more likely to mean a lot more to me than a million dollar car...

    Edit: and heres the link for the one I used.
    Last edited by Curator; 01-27-2011 at 05:26 AM. Reason: to add link

  8. #28
    Senior Member Array Lily flower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Quality time
    Words of affirmation

    And are last

  9. #29
    Junior Member Array Oddity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    1. Quality Time
    2. Words of Affirmation
    3. Acts of Service
    4. Physical Touch
    5. Recieving Gifts

    This seems to ring pretty true. I had previously thought that physical touch would be higher, but I've gone so long without it I guess it matters less. I hate recieving gifts unexpectedly. It makes me feel extremely guilty that I did not get something for the other person, and I feel as if I'm a bad gift-giver.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Array Hinastarr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    Mine (in order of importance/ personal preference) are:

    Quality Time
    (I value quality conversation and receiving periods of undivided attention above all else in a relationship honestly, since I often feel that time spent together with loved ones will only serve to strengthen our bonds and maintain that sense of closeness between us; the depth, or at least overall flow, of my conversations with someone, whether over similar hobbies or values, also help me assess the amount of chemistry I may have with them and how much ease or openness I can experience in our relationship. Based upon personal experience, it is very hurtful for me whenever a person appears disinterested or apathetic toward what I have to say and constantly refuses to spend time alone with me. It is also good to mention that I often prefer and do much better with one on one interactions with people, rather than be surrounding by several of them in a very boisterous public setting).

    Physical Touch
    (I need physical affection from the people I'm closest too, since I feel that physical touch in any form shows that barriers have been broken and that there is a deeper level of openness and trust among yourself and another person. A constant lack of affection might instead make me feel awkward or confused as I struggle to figure how to deepen my bond with said person, interpreting the lack of affection as aloofness or disinterest. I am not saying that I crave this to the extent of say, the sappiness of the Full House characters who thrived upon this, but rather that I at least need at least some trace of this from my loved ones in daily life to feel appreciated).

    Acts of Service
    (It is flattering and heartwarming to me when a person offers unsolicited help or assistance to you with something, since it shows that they are considerate of your well being and feelings and care enough to want to accomplish a task or help you with a chore out of love).

    Words of Affirmation
    (Honestly, I do enjoy words of affirmation more than this list may imply, yet I sometimes feel that continuous compliments and flattering from others can border on insincerity, particularly based upon the person's speaking tone and body language, or at least, from whom you're receiving the compliment to begin with.I may feel genuinely loved if I received affirming words from my mother or a very close friend perhaps, knowing that they are most likely honest in what they're saying, but wouldn't feel as appreciated if it came from a classmate I hardly knew or someone who has a reputation of being overly nice to everyone).

    Gift Giving
    (Although it may feel nice to receive gifts unexpectedly from a loved one, I've never really interpreted it as a symbol of love or affection, since the act itself may feel rather empty once the gift is received from someone who isn't truly attentive or genuinely caring towards you. I am also aware of this because this is precisely what i have experienced with my own father, who has continuously been absent from my life for several years, yet tries to compensate for this absence with gifts).

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