Hmm... I don't have experience romantically with an ENFJ (that I know of), but my best friend is ENFJ. We get along famously, for the most part. We are very alike and always understand what the other person is going through, trying to say, etc. I know my introversion frustrates her sometimes, and she can be picky and a bit selfish, which annoys me sometimes. But over all, I think it's a god match.
Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.
I have to go to work.. But when I get back.. I have all sorts of experience with this particular relationship..
I'll think about if I want to share while I schlep away .
For now I will say.. As long as each person values the relationship over their personal values (Fe rules Fi).. It's the perfect match.
BOTH types can be extremely selfish and self centered when they feel their values have been stepped on by the other.Both sides can be extreme in their judgments of each other, because both sides seem to have very high expectations of each other due to the intense and deep bonding that goes on between them.
It's a special relationship.. But both people involved are still just human after all. They really need to cut each other some slack when they hurt each others feelings.
Otherwise.. It's magical, sensual,deep, captivating, passionate, mutually beneficial and usually shit loads of fun..
I'll gladly tell you about my interaction with an ENFJ male.
It is hard to say where personality type qualities end and begin, so take from it what you will. I was not in any kind of romantic relationship with an ENFJ, this is about a friend. The ENFJ I know is very attractive. What makes him so attractive is that he is so smart. Really, really, naturally curious and able to remember things with ease. I felt like we had that in common, so it was great to be on some kind of learning experience with him because we were in sync. And being so smart gives him a wonderful advantage in his next really attractive quality, which is being incredibly funny. What I noticed about his humor is that he can just turn it on, as soon as he steps into a room even if it were filled with strangers. Which is not to say he acts goofy. Contrast it with my own nature (whether I am funny or not is debatable) where I have to warm to the situation first. A group of strangers - he owns it. I love the ENFJ wit so much. The ENFJ doesn't appear to want to stop growing, this too is appealing because I think it sends a signal that life together would remain exciting. This is hard to put into words, perhaps its the soul-searching of youth, but I really think that this ENFJ won't cease seeking new awareness. This carries an implication for those who might want to accompany the ENFJ on the ride, but still no "dead-shark" relationship threat which is exciting. The ENFJ can show tenderness and vulnerability. He displays a heart that is kind of symbolic and romantic, and I relate to that. And the ENFJ seems outwardly devoted to his love and the relationship's mutual progress.
For our private interactions it was as though we immediately felt something kindred between us, but it was almost like a light too bright to look at. Its difficult to describe.
One ENFJ: Intelligent, witty, charming, desiring to grow, romantic, loyal.
I hope this helps.
Just a few negatives I observed in this friend that could have been relationship obstacles: An "always-on" performing vibe that manifested when around new people, or people he wasn't really close to. In a way this reminds me of my sweet ESFJ mother who sometimes seemed to expend her best energy for graceful exchanges (and the appearance of grace) with strangers. As a result, in both I sometimes noticed depleted energy for those they were truly close to. But they still are both genuinely good-hearted people. I reject that charge that Fe is all disingenuous. Its just important for everyone to recognize what habits we slip into when we are overtaxed.
I worried a bit if I could trust him with deep personal information. This was out of a fear he may use that as currency in interchanges with other people at some point, and I am exceedingly private. I did worry that he maybe didn't like me as much as he seemed to. He had misgivings about me, too. Namely that I was moody and uptight. But our shared humor, poetic natures, and intellectual curiosity about the state of becoming (physical and metaphysical) allowed us to appreciate each other very much.
With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.
My mom's an ENFJ and while obviously I'm not talking about a romantic relationship she's one of the greatest people I know. We get along great and often have really interesting conversations and her passion and excitement encourage my creativity and expression.
The only thing that's a small challenge is that sometimes she gives me too much attention (like following me around the house when I come over to visit) and she never stop talking about anything and everything (especially if we're in the car together and she's observing the outside world) and it kind of makes it difficult for me to just reflect and spend time inside my head.
Oh yeah, and she's not very good at keeping information to herself. It's not for any conniving reasons I think she just loves to talk and share things with others so she doesn't think that some people are more private. I'm just careful about what I share with her sometimes.