Hey everyone! So one of the last types I thought I would be taken by would be an ESTP - not that I dislike them (of course, they are super fun) but generally the type of guy I go for doesn't fit with them. And in fact I didn't pursue him, he asked me out. I was just wondering if any other NFs have dated/had a relationship with/anything romantic with an ESTP and, if so, what their experience was. What things made it great what things were hard, etc. And if it is still going on and if not how it ended. I'll share a little about my particular situation (and fyi I am an ENFP.)
He asked me out at the end of last September and I was actually kind of wary to go but something about him definitely intrigued me and he is very different from anyone I've dated or even had an interest in so I thought 'why not?' We got on great from the first time we hung out - our first date was something out of a movie. The number one thing I can't get over when I spend time with him is how much fun it is! I know that sounds like a simple thing but being with him is so refreshingly easy, comfortable and fun. Well right after we started to date (actually the day of our first date oddly enough) he got offered an amazing job in Philadelphia. His family is from the North so that way he will be much closer to them and it's a more exciting city and, as I mentioned, the job is a big step up for him. He didn't move until the end of November so we kept dating/hanging out during that time until he moved. I saw him once again when he was back in December for a few days tying up some last things he had to do here in town.
Now seeing as he is an ESTP I realize that they are already prone to not being the most committal (although he is somewhat older at least - 30, I am 23) so I was very aware of the fact that I might never talk to him again once he got settled into his new life there. However, to my surprise he has actually made the effort to stay in contact with me via phone and even mentioned wanting to skype at one point. He also has heavily voiced that he would love to have me come visit him up there soon.
As far as my feelings go I was prepared for the 'worst' (i.e. us never speaking again after he moved) but now that we have kept in touch I am wondering how I should think about the situation. After he moved I tried my hardest to 'move on' and expected him to fade into a nostalgic memory rather than stay as an active daily part of my mind - but this has not been the case. I have even hung out/met some other guys since he's been gone but it doesn't matter because none of them have the same 'spark' that I feel when I'm with the ESTP. Not to say they're all some montage of terrible dates or something - most are great catches that I enjoy spending time with, it's just missing that 'certain something.'
I have had to admit to myself over the past few months how deeply i really do care about this guy and how much I like him and how much it would tear me apart to never see him again (trust me, I tried playing it cool to myself for awhile haha.) Last night on the phone with him I expressed how I really like him (literally said that I just really wanted to make sure he knew how much I care about him) because it had been buried inside me and I felt like I needed to let it out. Plus, the whole time he was here I was playing it cool so as to not to make everything about him moving harder so there is a very high chance that he doesn't even realize how deeply i feel about him. His reaction was very positive but he didn't necessarily say anything back that was black or white (such as 'i like you so much too' or 'I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about you.) More along the lines of 'that is so sweet, it's so good to hear that, that's so nice of you to say, I'm glad you said it.' And then after we talked for awhile more, and he told me he had some great places to take me when I come.
I realize that it's kind of a cardinal rule to not try and pin down an ESTP into a relationship, and to be honest I don't even know if that's necessarily my desire at this point. I really just wanted to let him know how I feel and that's it. I didn't even know what I expected in return, just really really felt compelled to tell him how much I care and that he's not just some guy I can have fun with sometimes. Anyway, I have found there is very little about ESTPs and ENFPs (or any NF generally) so I figured I would start a thread to see if anyone else has experiences with them they could share. I am open to any and all stories about your experiences with these wiley ESTPs, as well as any insight someone might have to offer about my particular situation - anyone's input would be great!