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  1. #11
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Congratulations!

    I've done three pregnancies as an INFJ, and I was a basketcase every time, lol. Here's why:

    Usually, I have enough intuitive knowledge of a subject to form opinions and thought structures, but pregnancy is another realm of existence entirely, and it knocked my off my feet initially. It was SO much to absorb and process at once, emotionally and fact-wise, and then all the physical Se intrusions that I could usually plan out of my life were unavoidable. I was nauseated, my clothes fit funny, I had to wear those god-awful maternity pants, I had an alien dancing in my belly, braxton hicks contractions felt totally weird to me...it was kind of a sensory assault 24/7. My Se and I have a tenuous relationship in the best of times, and pregnancy doesn't qualify as the best of times for me, LOL.

    I actually found What to Expect kind of old-school and anxiety inducing...my favorite pregnancy book is Dr. Sears' "The Pregnancy Book". It was more laid back, more facts that would be likely to apply, no mis-information about now-obsolete hospital procedures, and therefore, way less nerve wracking. More empowering to me, knowledge-wise, too. And better laid out. I'll stop there, lol.

    Here's what helped: taking a lot of time out for myself, and allowing myself to seek out the spiritual and emotional implications of bringing a new life into the world, and what an awesome thing that is, even if I don't particularly enjoy it as much as other women might. Eventually, I got into doula work, which really helped me hook up with some awesome resources about processing birth mentally and emotionally (I can message you some book titles and sites, if you like!). I also gave myself permission to really stop being nice to annoying, intrusive people on principle, and really protect myself emotionally. (I.E, I'm not obligated to let great aunt Bertha give me bad labor advice, or to let random grocery store lady rub my belly. It's OK to tell them to back the heck off. )

    It helped me personally to learn about all the options I did have in care and birth, so that I didn't feel trapped into having some OB I didn't love tell me what to do with my own body. (huge issue for me) So, do a little research and stay true to yourself, and find an OB or midwife who will really honor your process and physical/emotional needs in labor as much as practically possible. You're the mama; you get to chose how it goes down, barring emergency.

    My attitude about pregnancy in general is this: it's a means to an end. As an INFJ, I seriously *rock* the mom thing. I give my kids a lot of space to be their own people, I'm naturally in tune with what they need (though the first year was a little trial and error), and they're relationships where I can let my hair down and be uncharacteristically silly and fun, and really enjoy myself. Seriously, it's truly the most awesome thing I've ever experienced, and I've done some awesome things.

    All that to say: don't feel like the way your handle pregnancy emotionally has any bearing at ALL on the kind of mother you're going to be!
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  2. #12
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Everything MonkeyGrass said! Especially the part about staying far, far away from What To Expect When You're Expecting. I HATED that book. With the white-hot passion of a thousand suns. I found it demeaning and patronizing, not to mention stress-inducing and guilt-inducing. A bran muffin is a once-a-week treat? Really?
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #13
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Everything MonkeyGrass said! Especially the part about staying far, far away from What To Expect When You're Expecting. I HATED that book. With the white-hot passion of a thousand suns. I found it demeaning and patronizing, not to mention stress-inducing and guilt-inducing. A bran muffin is a once-a-week treat? Really?
    ROFL. YES. That exactly.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  4. #14
    Junior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    First off, congrats!

    Second, although doing some research is a good idea (you don't want to go into this completely blind), try to restrain yourself a bit. At least with me, if I start researching about certain things, it will trigger major anxiety and some hypochondria in me. I think I have every disorder known to humankind. Ha!

    Lastly, don't worry so much about the anxiety. It's natural.

  5. #15
    Walking in the Rain Forever's Avatar
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    Lol
    obviously you're going to get nothing from reading this
    I find that the illusions sometimes are more beneficial to my reality than what I project as 'reality'

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