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  1. #11
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    If someone is this erratic, I can't see myself being interesting in contacting them again, therefore it is all I can recommend for you to do. Perhaps you should question your own commitment to your thoughts and feelings and how you could have helped to exaggerate this type of response.

    This type of behaviour is non-type specific and to be honest a sign of someone who I wouldn't want to be associated with.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    Okay, thanks for the help everybody, but there's nothing I can do at this point. I got a call earlier today from her brother. He told me to never contact her again, that if I did do so, he would make sure a restraining order was brought out on me, and she blocked me on facebook. (I know that makes it sound like I must have done something pretty bad, or harassed her, but I swear I haven't) There's nothing I can do. I can't call her, I can't send her the message. I've decided, if she ever does make attempt to contact me again in the future someday, I'm going to just tell her, "I've forgiven you, but I can't have anything to do with this." She's too unstable and won't even say what's going through her mind, even though she always told me that she'd never be dishonest with me. Maybe, some day, we can have another shot, but it's going to take years. She has a lot of growing up to do. I've basically decided that those chances are so slim as to be virtually impossible. I'm not going to hope for that, or do anything to work towards it, and from this point on, my life will basically operate as if I'd never met her. I don't know that I could ever stop loving her, but practically speaking, I can't let that influence my life anymore.
    Unless you killed her dog or threatened to choke her, siccing her brother on you seems really childish and unnecessary.

    Not only that, but people who recently acted very interested who suddenly block you on facebook without explaining themselves must have a lot of feelings for you they can't deal with.

    At any rate, I'm sorry. This sucks. And I agree with Jim that the behavior she exhibited here at the end of your story isn't type related in the least.

  3. #13
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Unless you killed her dog or threatened to choke her, siccing her brother on you seems really childish and unnecessary.
    I think she got her brother involved because he's the only one who would do anything. Her dad's always liked me, and her mom has known I was a trustworthy guy from the very beginning. She's had relationships with several really bad guys in the past, and I think he made the assumption that I was no different from them. When I was speaking to him on the phone, he was yelling at me the entire time. I tried to calmly explain why he had the wrong idea about the whole situation, but he wouldn't allow it. I get a distinctly ISFJ vibe from him. Si which looks to past experiences to determine value, and Fe which makes quick personal judgments without knowing the full truth.
    You lose.

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  4. #14
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Oh hon..

    I'm sorry that you had to go through that. It sounds like she's freaking out and taking it out on you. Take some time to process this, lick your wounds, grieve, since you did love this girl. If *ever* she does contact you again, at least have her explain it fully wtf that was about and take the time to process what she said and how *you* feel about it, and decide what to do with it only after you feel secure enough to do so.

    As for now, take some time to go over what happened and shift your focus elsewhere. And don't give up hope...many a girl would be lucky to be yours
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  5. #15
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    I don't really think this has much to do with her personality type. But I do feel for you, so I'll say my honest opinion. I hope I'm not to harsh, but I will be blunt:

    Man, sorry to say this, she disrespected you massively several times. You should have cut your loses right there back in August. I mean you must have seen this coming somehow, there must have been signs. You don't wanna spend even a minute with a woman who treat you like this (I'm assuming you didn't do something earlier to have this coming).

    From the second she said that to you, the game has changed: now you're playing to minimize your further investment in this. I know you had good times with this chick but cannot have your life depend on her mood (or the cool of the moon, or the direction of the wind or what ever). It is over. Ask me how I know exactly this. I learned the hard way. Only give your time to people who deserve it

    Having her brother call you is ridicules and only shows how immature she is to be unable to handle her on sh*t. Ignore her, and when she contacts you again - which I see in my crystal ball, she will - IGNORE HER. If you interact with her again, you are playing her game, and you are betting to lose. Actually, she doesn't deserve your attention. It will only make you feel worse about this. Again, ask me how I know

  6. #16
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    You sound crazed, and hence creepy.

    We enjoy authentic love, and no one wants to be the object of some kind of obsession that we don't understand.

    I think that INTJs engage in this kind of "love" when they are younger.

    You won't leave her alone until she gives you full reason as to why she is not interested?

    Rule number one in love, honey, you can't rely on anyone else giving *you* closure but *yourself*.

    All the pieces are there, and when you're ready to see, you'll see why it didn't work out.

    Just read your OP, thus far, and I can tell you are being obsessive to a lost cause.

    Let her go.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

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  7. #17
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    How old are you guys?
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #18
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    This reminds me (female) a lot of the push/pull things that happen between me and (male) FPs. There's often something there initially, but then it just stops. What is up with that? I think it's some double Fi issue where when one person pulls away the other is profoundly hurt and pulls away etc. etc. It's like...we're both afraid and step on each others toes without realising that the other person might be affected as well (self-absorbed Fi). I think in a lot of these cases, had I made a truly grand and heartfelt gesture (rrrisky) I might have pushed things past the treshold (as people have mentioned here). But it would have to be larger than the hurt the other person has suffered.

    I've never been able to revive any of these things.

    It's almost like turn-based gaming.

  9. #19
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    This has nothing to do with type, she's extremely indecisive and undependable, and thats that. I suggest moving on, it's purely unhealthy. someone who's that shifty is never a good person to have by your side when things get stressful.

  10. #20
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    How old are you guys?
    I'm 25.
    You lose.

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