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[ENFP] Do ENFP’s Lead People On? - Active versus Passive Fi

Do ENFP’s Lead People On?

  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, but they aren’t usually aware of it.

    Votes: 17 40.5%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and they usually know exactly what they are doing.

    Votes: 5 11.9%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and I’m unsure if they are aware of this or not.

    Votes: 16 38.1%
  • I don’t think ENFPs often lead people on.

    Votes: 4 9.5%

  • Total voters
    42

AgentF

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Communication is everything!

Its mighty important as Agentfurria discovered with that half aspergers guy.

Im going drunk now so hope i did not insult anyone.

drunken forum members! how very wonderful. have one for us?
 

entropie

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lovely. congratulations, there is hope.

Hehe, I wonder if being a Fe user turns you into someone who relates everything to themself. Like "congrats there is hope for (you)" can be understood coimpletly differently. I dont know, I think its not it's prolly only because I am a jerk :D
 

AgentF

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Hehe, I wonder if being a Fe user turns you into someone who relates everything to themself. Like "congrats there is hope for (you)" can be understood coimpletly differently. I dont know, I think its not it's prolly only because I am a jerk :D

interestingly enough, i debated the pros/cons of being more specific about that statement when i wrote it. :)

i was actually speaking in a global sense of hope. as in, "there is Reason to have hope."
 

AgentF

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to clarify: have one [drink] for us. not, er, have one [drunken forum member] for us.
 

AgentF

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not, er, have one [drunken forum member] for us.

of course, that could be interesting. we'd then need to launch (or revive) the Drunken Forum Member Group Sex Thread.

(that was for you Mats. drunk people need love, too.)
 

Rex

New member
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Jul 28, 2010
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haha what tha fuck is up with yoko uno?
 

Rex

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now is the time where you post a video of you dancing.

hey you... group sex.. wtf..
hmmm..

Skeptical now..

watch your mouth woman..

Moving on...


ahh yea...
 

uumlau

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It strikes me that ENFPs are the one MBTI type that truly extroverts Fi. ESFPs are much more grounded with Se, while Ne for the ENFP seems almost translucent, and that Fi element is there for all to see.

Thus in human interaction, ENFPs are naturally doing the one thing that every other type strives to avoid: reveal themselves. It is this self-revealing, expressing genuine interest towards others in an innocent way is what is easily misinterpreted as flirting or even romantic interest, especially if the ENFP is young and unpracticed, and the target is unusually shy and perhaps has never had a date. Being genuine in this manner is both a virtue and a curse. It is virtuous because it is honest, but it is a curse because real people (at the Fi level) are messy and it is easy for others to misunderstand what they see. What they see is everything, all the good and all the bad, the pleasant and the annoying, everything that makes up the person. Everyone is like this, inside, not just ENFPs. The ENFPs are the ones that habitually reveal it.

The negative reaction is that what is revealed, Fi-wise, contains very strong certainties with which others often disagree, and mostly unanswerable/unsolvable questions and problems that others interpret as requiring solution, even though no solution is required or even requested. We all have these certainties and questions, but most of us don't talk about them or reveal them, or resolve only to talk about such things philosophically. Fi, extroverted by Ne, abstracts them and broadcasts them, unvarnished.

INTJs seem to be the one type that usually reacts well to this unvarnished output: we INTJs cannot read people, but dang, we sure can read them ENFPs! :devil: We are so happy to be able to understand another human being this clearly, we don't give a crap how messy it all is. In turn, the ENFPs gain a relief from their curse: someone around whom they can say anything without fear. Though, like the Babel fish, pure honest communication can simply verify that two people really don't like each other at all.

As ENFPs gain experience, they learn how to control their self expression so as not to unduly swamp others with their Fi messes, not so much by trying to be more Fe or Te, but by refining their Fi understanding.
 

AgentF

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It strikes me that ENFPs are the one MBTI type that truly extroverts Fi. ESFPs are much more grounded with Se, while Ne for the ENFP seems almost translucent, and that Fi element is there for all to see.

Thus in human interaction, ENFPs are naturally doing the one thing that every other type strives to avoid: reveal themselves. It is this self-revealing, expressing genuine interest towards others in an innocent way is what is easily misinterpreted as flirting or even romantic interest, especially if the ENFP is young and unpracticed, and the target is unusually shy and perhaps has never had a date. Being genuine in this manner is both a virtue and a curse. It is virtuous because it is honest, but it is a curse because real people (at the Fi level) are messy and it is easy for others to misunderstand what they see. What they see is everything, all the good and all the bad, the pleasant and the annoying, everything that makes up the person. Everyone is like this, inside, not just ENFPs. The ENFPs are the ones that habitually reveal it.

The negative reaction is that what is revealed, Fi-wise, contains very strong certainties with which others often disagree, and mostly unanswerable/unsolvable questions and problems that others interpret as requiring solution, even though no solution is required or even requested. We all have these certainties and questions, but most of us don't talk about them or reveal them, or resolve only to talk about such things philosophically. Fi, extroverted by Ne, abstracts them and broadcasts them, unvarnished.

INTJs seem to be the one type that usually reacts well to this unvarnished output: we INTJs cannot read people, but dang, we sure can read them ENFPs! :devil: We are so happy to be able to understand another human being this clearly, we don't give a crap how messy it all is. In turn, the ENFPs gain a relief from their curse: someone around whom they can say anything without fear. Though, like the Babel fish, pure honest communication can simply verify that two people really don't like each other at all.

As ENFPs gain experience, they learn how to control their self expression so as not to unduly swamp others with their Fi messes, not so much by trying to be more Fe or Te, but by refining their Fi understanding.

i like it. makes sense, especially the bits about us revealing who we are when others don't, and learning to control self expression as we mature.
 

INTP

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nvm. i just wanted to tease mats, but he passed out or something
 

skylights

i love
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I had no idea how much people hate enfps until joining this forum.

myself, either. on the other hand, i've come to appreciate a lot of our better qualities thanks to people on this forum. at least it gives us perspective. i've learned many tactics for getting along better with Fe and Ti oriented people thanks to the boards. for once my INTP dad and i are not quarreling all the time (which has always been quite silly, because we are very alike but communicate very differently)

Hehe im working on it.. I just hate lying in your face thats all. Im not trained/made for lying. I ofc see the use of a small one here and there to avoid issues with other types..

oh, i understand. and i need to not justify lying when i do so purposefully. unfortunately lying comes very easily to me, always has. no one ever notices the difference. anyway that was less a statement directed at you and more a general reflection :)

She and me are maybe one of the most unfitting pairs on the world but that's exactly why we love each other. We have so much to give each other, it's amazing and a lifetime wont be enough. We argued a lot in the beginning and the last 5 years have been a constant growth for both of us. She made me a man. This thing I described here, she's well aware of by now, but she'll never give it up to think like that. That would be like to ask me to give up breathing aswell, cause our Ne-Fi-Ti combo just works that way.

that's wonderful :wubbie: and yes, sadly the same thing that makes us able to help others well makes us very self-absorbed.

Hehe, I wonder if being a Fe user turns you into someone who relates everything to themself. Like "congrats there is hope for (you)" can be understood coimpletly differently. I dont know, I think its not it's prolly only because I am a jerk :D

@ strike, edit, sorry for appearing to agree with you there :rofl1:

yes, actually, very much. as aggravating as the feeling about your gf turning everything inward to herself must be sometimes, my own understanding of that viewpoint is that i can only speak for myself, you know? and i expect that others will speak for themselves when they feel like it - which, as it turns out, Fe types (esp dom/aux) really tend not to do. so it's not that i like to monologue, but i just expect others are going to pipe up like i do. and reciprocally, i feel like Fe users often turn things into being about someone else when they're not meant to be. like me commenting on a system that's not working right, to a Fe dom - she turned it into a criticism of her, and her doing bad work or something, when it was not at all. it was just an observation of what wasn't working. she actually did an amazing job, it was someone else who'd messed it up. but she extrapolated that outwards. Fi types have to remember it's not always about "me" and Fe types have to remember it's not always about "you" :)

ENFPs kinda get stuck in a weird place...Ne forces us out in the world and Fi forces us to be authentic. Te is our only difference but then we are "bossy bitches". The authenticity is the really messed up part-it feels very wrong to wear a mask-yet the world will never accept us unless we wear a mask. :(

It strikes me that ENFPs are the one MBTI type that truly extroverts Fi. ESFPs are much more grounded with Se, while Ne for the ENFP seems
almost translucent, and that Fi element is there for all to see.

Thus in human interaction, ENFPs are naturally doing the one thing that every other type strives to avoid: reveal themselves. It is this self-revealing, expressing genuine interest towards others in an innocent way is what is easily misinterpreted as flirting or even romantic interest, especially if the ENFP is young and unpracticed, and the target is unusually shy and perhaps has never had a date. Being genuine in this manner is both a virtue and a curse. It is virtuous because it is honest, but it is a curse because real people (at the Fi level) are messy and it is easy for others to misunderstand what they see. What they see is everything, all the good and all the bad, the pleasant and the annoying, everything that makes up the person. Everyone is like this, inside, not just ENFPs. The ENFPs are the ones that habitually reveal it.

The negative reaction is that what is revealed, Fi-wise, contains very strong certainties with which others often disagree, and mostly unanswerable/unsolvable questions and problems that others interpret as requiring solution, even though no solution is required or even requested. We all have these certainties and questions, but most of us don't talk about them or reveal them, or resolve only to talk about such things philosophically. Fi, extroverted by Ne, abstracts them and broadcasts them, unvarnished.

INTJs seem to be the one type that usually reacts well to this unvarnished output: we INTJs cannot read people, but dang, we sure can read them ENFPs! :devil: We are so happy to be able to understand another human being this clearly, we don't give a crap how messy it all is. In turn, the ENFPs gain a relief from their curse: someone around whom they can say anything without fear. Though, like the Babel fish, pure honest communication can simply verify that two people really don't like each other at all.

As ENFPs gain experience, they learn how to control their self expression so as not to unduly swamp others with their Fi messes, not so much by trying to be more Fe or Te, but by refining their Fi understanding.

this is very true. thank goodness for INTJs :laugh: i have an NFJ friend who has also somehow been able to do a similar thing... she seems to appreciate the willingness (compulsion, if we're being honest) to self-reveal. sometimes we hurt one another by accident though. NFJs, while also insightful, are not as hardy as NTJs.
 

entropie

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yes, actually, very much. as aggravating as the feeling about your gf turning everything inward to herself must be sometimes, my own understanding of that viewpoint is that i can only speak for myself, you know? and i expect that others will speak for themselves when they feel like it - which, as it turns out, Fe types (esp dom/aux) really tend not to do. so it's not that i like to monologue, but i just expect others are going to pipe up like i do. and reciprocally, i feel like Fe users often turn things into being about someone else when they're not meant to be. like me commenting on a system that's not working right, to a Fe dom - she turned it into a criticism of her, and her doing bad work or something, when it was not at all. it was just an observation of what wasn't working. she actually did an amazing job, it was someone else who'd messed it up. but she extrapolated that outwards. Fi types have to remember it's not always about "me" and Fe types have to remember it's not always about "you" :)

It's good advice for me, I recognize myself a lot in that. See I answered a thread about Fi and learnt something for myself. That's how it's supposed to work :)

And now I go grab a mod and tell him you called me a jerk very much :D
 

Thalassa

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myself, either. on the other hand, i've come to appreciate a lot of our better qualities thanks to people on this forum. at least it gives us perspective. i've learned many tactics for getting along better with Fe and Ti oriented people thanks to the boards. for once my INTP dad and i are not quarreling all the time (which has always been quite silly, because we are very alike but communicate very differently)

I know what you mean, it really helps you stop and think "oh they're doing x annoying behavior because..." even if you don't like it, it helps you to be at least somewhat more tolerant or to understand it a bit, sometimes.


oh, i understand. and i need to not justify lying when i do so purposefully. unfortunately lying comes very easily to me, always has. no one ever notices the difference. anyway that was less a statement directed at you and more a general reflection :)

Interesting, it's pretty easy for me too, when I was a dancer I could just spin false details about myself like there was no tomorrow.

I think it comes from my natural story-telling ability, which my ESFP mother also has. Except in her case her stories are almost always based IRL, but they are ...ahem..."embellished" sometimes I think to make them more interesting or dramatic.


that's wonderful :wubbie: and yes, sadly the same thing that makes us able to help others well makes us very self-absorbed.

truth

this is very true. thank goodness for INTJs :laugh: i have an NFJ friend who has also somehow been able to do a similar thing... she seems to appreciate the willingness (compulsion, if we're being honest) to self-reveal. sometimes we hurt one another by accident though. NFJs, while also insightful, are not as hardy as NTJs.

Sometimes I think my self-revealing can leave me open to be vulnerable, sometimes even hurt, but it's like...I can't help it...it's who I am.
 
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