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View Poll Results: Do ENFP’s Lead People On?

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  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, but they aren’t usually aware of it.

    17 39.53%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and they usually know exactly what they are doing.

    6 13.95%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and I’m unsure if they are aware of this or not.

    16 37.21%
  • I don’t think ENFPs often lead people on.

    4 9.30%
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  1. #31
    Senior Member Rex's Avatar
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    You can count me out of it.. Dunno if someone ever gonna get the full picture about me.

    I keep trying to find her tho..


  2. #32
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    why do you keep looking? just curious.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


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  3. #33
    Senior Member Rex's Avatar
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    Why should i not.. Besides its not my main goal. Im aware that its not that likely to happen.

    Actually its not a goal at all its a potensial bonus. I don`t even know what to look for anyway..

  4. #34
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatsNorway View Post
    Why should i not.. Besides its not my main goal. Im aware that its not that likely to happen.

    Actually its not a goal at all its a potensial bonus. I don`t even know what to look for anyway..
    that's what i was hoping you'd share: the relative priority. my problem is that it is at least one of my main goals. that may be avoidance, i'm starting to wonder about that...
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post
    i went to a science/eng. uni, and eventually noticed that a lot of shy males (mostly INTs, i believe) did unexpected things after i'd done the smallest things like given them friendly eye contact, smiled at them or asked them about themselves. hanging around after class, following me places, offering to help me with calculus (good luck), etc.

    i hate seeing someone ignored and gravitate towards the shy/quiet people in a room, always. they seem mysterious to me and i like observant people. we usually have great talks. so i seek them out and later on often find myself in the awkward position of being *fairly sure* they have some sort of interest in me, but i have no idea how to deal with it (hate hurting people). and they often can't or don't want to express their feelings, so it's awful for us both. i have this situation right now with my next door neighbor, and have no idea what to do. how could being friendly result in hurt feelings?

    i've wondered recently if, as an E, i should initiate the discussion and clear the air. i am just really terrified of hurting someone. i think i project a lot...assume that if they're clammed up and incapable of expressing their feelings (i don't usually have this problem), they must be in an emotional coma of some kind, or severely traumatized. that is how i act when i'm so upset about something i can't articulate it. but perhaps other types would be relieved if i took action, and don't have as many feelings tied up in the matter as i've projected them to have.
    Oh god, let me tell you hideous story about the shy quiet guy that I actually did like. In retrospect, I think he may have had asperger's because I remember when I first met him he told me that when he first began college he was so introverted and averse to socializing that if anyone at all physically touched him in any way he would sharply recoil. He also seemed a bit socially awkward, like being too shy in some situations, and talking awkwardly loudly in others. But I actually found him adorable, and by tutoring me he helped me make a B on my final exam in my college remedial algebra.

    He was always very nice to me, and right before the Thanksgiving holiday he shyly asked me if I would like to hang out over the break, and even though I cheerfully said that sounded like a good idea, he acted embarrassed, and then never called me and told me he forgot.

    Then at Christmas break he told me we should get together again...then didn't contact me at all until we were practically back in school. We had coffee together, and walked around town for a while, looked at an art gallery, then he left.

    When we got back in school I noticed a weird pattern of him saying he would call me or would do this or that, but then he wouldn't. One day I finally got mad at him, because I decided he obviously wasn't really my friend and didn't care about me at all, since he kept "forgetting" to do things he said he was going to do.

    Well, when I got upset, he actually started crying. I swear to god he actually got tears in his eyes. He was completely taken aback that I would even be offended by anything, and acted really weird after that and never spoke to me again. There was even some weird drama the following semester because we were in the same class, and I tried to be nice to him, and he would talk about me apparently to a guy who was in the class, who approached me to some effect like, "what the hell did you do to him?" Our professor even asked us one day if there was some personal issue that we needed to handle outside of class, he was that obvious and weird about it. Another day he almost tripped over himself staring at me in the mall, but when I said hi he quickly walked away.

    I tried apologizing, etc. and he never spoke to me again. I think quiet, aspie people can be just as hurtful to us as we are to them, and they don't even realize it.

    Then we're expected to be the bigger person because we're the Fs.

    I just wanted to share this story, because I don't think it's always the case where we lead some poor sucker on. I actually am attracted to introverted men.

  6. #36
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Oh god, let me tell you hideous story about the shy quiet guy that I actually did like. In retrospect, I think he may have had asperger's because I remember when I first met him he told me that when he first began college he was so introverted and averse to socializing that if anyone at all physically touched him in any way he would sharply recoil. He also seemed a bit socially awkward, like being too shy in some situations, and talking awkwardly loudly in others. But I actually found him adorable, and by tutoring me he helped me make a B on my final exam in my college remedial algebra.

    He was always very nice to me, and right before the Thanksgiving holiday he shyly asked me if I would like to hang out over the break, and even though I cheerfully said that sounded like a good idea, he acted embarrassed, and then never called me and told me he forgot.

    Then at Christmas break he told me we should get together again...then didn't contact me at all until we were practically back in school. We had coffee together, and walked around town for a while, looked at an art gallery, then he left.

    When we got back in school I noticed a weird pattern of him saying he would call me or would do this or that, but then he wouldn't. One day I finally got mad at him, because I decided he obviously wasn't really my friend and didn't care about me at all, since he kept "forgetting" to do things he said he was going to do.

    Well, when I got upset, he actually started crying. I swear to god he actually got tears in his eyes. He was completely taken aback that I would even be offended by anything, and acted really weird after that and never spoke to me again. There was even some weird drama the following semester because we were in the same class, and I tried to be nice to him, and he would talk about me apparently to a guy who was in the class, who approached me to some effect like, "what the hell did you do to him?" Our professor even asked us one day if there was some personal issue that we needed to handle outside of class, he was that obvious and weird about it. Another day he almost tripped over himself staring at me in the mall, but when I said hi he quickly walked away.

    I tried apologizing, etc. and he never spoke to me again. I think quiet, aspie people can be just as hurtful to us as we are to them, and they don't even realize it.

    Then we're expected to be the bigger person because we're the Fs.

    I just wanted to share this story, because I don't think it's always the case where we lead some poor sucker on. I actually am attracted to introverted men.
    ah, thanks for that ^. i'm also attracted to introverts and strongly prefer them to extroverts. but tears? i guess that closed the door on face-to-face communication. you might consider sending him a unidirectional email or note of some kind. he sounds like he's in pain! (oh great, look at the ENFP trying to fix his feelings). [edit: i re-read and realized you said "another day" not "the other day."]

    anyway, tears, huh. crazy. when you say you liked him, were you attracted to him? or liked as a friend? i tend to get various degrees of passive aggression. always INTs.

    what makes me so sad is that i just found out a really wonderful INTP was in love with me in college, and i had no idea. my calculus tutor. after weeks of him expressing a very serious interest in helping me with advanced integrals, we kissed, but i had no idea how deep his feelings went...my father had just died and i was an emotional mess. i may have been blubbering about my father while working on homework. anyway, after that, he used to drive by my flat, toss pebbles at my window to wake me up and see if i was up for some calculus. i am such an idiot, at the time i thought "my friend who i briefly kissed is obsessed with math!".
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  7. #37
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    ...
    How old was this guy? I used to be that way, up until probably about 23, then I finally started to develop some self confidence and realize that yes, people can actually like me, and if they say they do, they aren't necessarily lying. So yeah, you could be right about him being aspie, or he could have just been immature.
    You lose.

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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post
    ah, thanks for that ^. i'm also attracted to introverts and strongly prefer them to extroverts. but tears? i guess that closed the door on face-to-face communication. you might consider sending him a unidirectional email or note of some kind. he sounds like he's in pain! (oh great, look at the ENFP trying to fix his feelings). [edit: i re-read and realized you said "another day" not "the other day."]
    Yeah, I tried that route, the email route, etc because I knew face-to-face confrontation would be too much for him. I felt bad - but at the same time, he was like, being passive-aggressively mean to me in class the following semester, and ignoring any attempts I made to make ammends.

    anyway, tears, huh. crazy. when you say you liked him, were you attracted to him? or liked as a friend? i tend to get various degrees of passive aggression. always INTs.
    Well at first I just liked him as a friend, but eventually realized I found him attractive. I was really suprised that he cried, even the little bit that he did, because he seemed to be so unemotional and detached, but I realized too late that these very introverted IxTx types do have feelings inside even if it appears on the outside they're indifferent.

    I felt so bad that I made him cry. I tried so hard to apologize, I swear I did.

    what makes me so sad is that i just found out a really wonderful INTP was in love with me in college, and i had no idea. my calculus tutor. after weeks of him expressing a very serious interest in helping me with advanced integrals, we kissed, but i had no idea how deep his feelings went...my father had just died and i was an emotional mess. i may have been blubbering about my father while working on homework. anyway, after that, he used to drive by my flat, toss pebbles at my window to wake me up and see if i was up for some calculus. i am such an idiot, at the time i thought "my friend who i briefly kissed is obsessed with math!".
    Awww.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    How old was this guy? I used to be that way, up until probably about 23, then I finally started to develop some self confidence and realize that yes, people can actually like me, and if they say they do, they aren't necessarily lying. So yeah, you could be right about him being aspie, or he could have just been immature.
    Yeah, possibly just a very introverted immature IxTx type...most likely an IxTJ or INTP. He was only 23 at the time, I think.

  10. #40
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Oh god, let me tell you hideous story about the shy quiet guy that I actually did like. In retrospect, I think he may have had asperger's because I remember when I first met him he told me that when he first began college he was so introverted and averse to socializing that if anyone at all physically touched him in any way he would sharply recoil. He also seemed a bit socially awkward, like being too shy in some situations, and talking awkwardly loudly in others. But I actually found him adorable, and by tutoring me he helped me make a B on my final exam in my college remedial algebra.
    we should start an asperger's appreciation thread. i used to manage a very smart guy who had asperger's. he would tremble when giving his daily status report in front of our team (icky company policy). i thought he was great + defended him like a lioness if anyone criticized him. i felt really protective of him.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

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