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[ENFP] Do ENFP’s Lead People On? - Active versus Passive Fi

Do ENFP’s Lead People On?

  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, but they aren’t usually aware of it.

    Votes: 17 40.5%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and they usually know exactly what they are doing.

    Votes: 5 11.9%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and I’m unsure if they are aware of this or not.

    Votes: 16 38.1%
  • I don’t think ENFPs often lead people on.

    Votes: 4 9.5%

  • Total voters
    42

skylights

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Cognitive dissonance, FTW! :smile:

No offence, but we're seldom the best judge of our own behaviour. Check the poll, and reflect.

semantics, ftw! :rolli:

manipulation and engaging with intent to manipulate are two very distinct things.
in fact, i think that's the difference between murder 1 and manslaughter.

quit being so pretentious and reflect.

i don't understand your point here, salome. i'm trying my best to explain why myself and others act the way we do, and you seem only to want to peg us as immoral intentional manipulators. but you haven't presented any real evidence of it, yourself; you've just been short-quoting my words and attempting to call me out on mistakes. did an ENFP purposefully lead you on? do you know this for a fact? where is your evidence, if you are convinced of your point? plus the poll means very little in this situation, because it's anonymous. we have no idea how valid those responses are, and they are all "i think" statements anyway. yet even if they were tangible evidence, the groups are tied at "they usually aren't aware" and "i'm unsure if they're aware". that doesn't prove your point at all, much less even support it.

it really just seems like you don't care what we think; you just want us to admit that we do something that, really, we don't habitually do, and even people of other types have affirmed that we don't do it. while i'll admit to every sin in the book i've committed, there's no way in hell i'm owning up to being something that i'm not or doing something that i don't.
 
Last edited:

Amargith

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For those in the poll that voted 'are unsure if they are aware of it', I guess this thread kind of indicated that most ENFPs are unaware of it most of the time. After a while, you get experienced and you start seeing it. I personally play with it on purpose, but when I do, I also give a heads-up to the other party who's either up for a game or not (part of my values as such). Still, even when you've learned to spot it in yourself, there are times you're so focused elsewhere you don't notice that you're potentially leading someone on, that you're still oblivious to it. When you're sad and I try to comfort you and cheer you up, I'm hardly hitting on you, for instance. I am however sharing intimacy as I perceive you could use it right now like a soothing blanket :shrug:
 

Emectar

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semantics, ftw! :rolli:

manipulation and engaging with intent to manipulate are two very distinct things.
in fact, i think that's the difference between murder 1 and manslaughter.

quit being so pretentious and reflect.

i don't understand your point here, salome. i'm trying my best to explain why myself and others act the way we do, and you seem only to want to peg us as immoral intentional manipulators. but you haven't presented any real evidence of it, yourself; you've just been short-quoting my words and attempting to call me out on mistakes. did an ENFP purposefully lead you on? do you know this for a fact? where is your evidence, if you are convinced of your point? plus the poll means very little in this situation, because it's anonymous. we have no idea how valid those responses are, and they are all "i think" statements anyway. yet even if they were tangible evidence, the groups are tied at "they usually aren't aware" and "i'm unsure if they're aware". that doesn't prove your point at all, much less even support it.

it really just seems like you don't care what we think; you just want us to admit that we do something that, really, we don't habitually do, and even people of other types have affirmed that we don't do it. while i'll admit to every sin in the book i've committed, there's no way in hell i'm owning up to being something that i'm not or doing something that i don't.


I couldn't agree more on every point here.
 

AgentF

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the only problem i have with it, is the cat and mouse game that we often engage in with our [often unwitting and (ime) often INT] playmates. i have done this. i have seen other ENFPs do this. we think of it as a game, and we think that announcing that the game is on makes it ok...but i worry that, for all our naïveté*, we are somewhat emotionally power-hungry. that the rush and excitement we get from drawing someone into our emotional sandbox is often at others' expense.

the way i see INTPs play with words reminds me of the way ENFPs play with emotions, ours and others. not necessarily intended maliciously...but it's a power we have that we would do well to understand and, at certain times, moderate.


*huge generalization here. but like others, i tend to subscribe to the double rainbows school of life and have found that i am, in fact, quite naïve. anyway.
 

Amargith

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:yes: True, verification, and check-ups throughout the game are vital to ensure no emotional damage accidentily takes place.
 

skylights

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satine said:
even when you've learned to spot it in yourself, there are times you're so focused elsewhere you don't notice that you're potentially leading someone on, that you're still oblivious to it.
agentfurrina said:
we think of it as a game, and we think that announcing that the game is on makes it ok

very good points :yes:
 

sculpting

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it really just seems like you don't care what we think; you just want us to admit that we do something that, really, we don't habitually do, and even people of other types have affirmed that we don't do it. while i'll admit to every sin in the book i've committed, there's no way in hell i'm owning up to being something that i'm not or doing something that i don't.

^^ Yup.

To be honest this convo is so last year.
I think this issue was beat to death the INTJ-ENFP diaster combo o' love thread.

Yes ENFPs can ooze Fi via Ne. Yes sometimes people get confused. Mostly we dont realize we do it, then we feel bad when people get hurt and learn to be more careful or avoid those who may be hurt. No we dont typically consciously plot, plan and manipulate others-that would be Salome and other NTPs projecting their own internal worldview onto us.....Just because certain other people spend great amounts of time engaged in social manipulation, doesnt mean that we do....

If anything we are more like dumb little innocent, honest, hyper kids who forgive too much, are too honest and love too much. We are not showing you our emotions to get something from you. We show you our emotions because that is how we feel-we feel deeply, richly and love greatly doing so openly in an intense way which an Fe user would find very intense-or assume as being fake if they fail to make the Fi to Fe translation. Meh.
 

SillySapienne

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The ENFPs I know don't lead people on. They'll flirt with most moving, breathing beings, but when it comes to anything further than that they're quite honest about their intentions.
GREAT POST!!!

SO VERY TRUE!!!!

:yes: + :solidarity:
 
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