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View Poll Results: Do ENFP’s Lead People On?

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  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, but they aren’t usually aware of it.

    17 39.53%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and they usually know exactly what they are doing.

    6 13.95%
  • I think ENFPs often lead people on, and I’m unsure if they are aware of this or not.

    16 37.21%
  • I don’t think ENFPs often lead people on.

    4 9.30%
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  1. #91
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I'm entirely familiar with and terrified of such experiences.

    even if you're half asleep?

    i sense a new thread coming on...
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post
    even if you're half asleep?
    aaaahhh... ummm.. you win?

  3. #93
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I’d love to hear from ENFPs and non-ENFPs if this rings true for them. Most importantly, if anyone has any tips on how to recognize passive vs. active Fi from the outsider’s point of view, this would be most appreciated. I think it would quell a lot of ENFP/non-ENFP misunderstandings.
    Great OP.
    No, I still have no real idea how to figure out when you guys are sincere and when you're just playing. The superficial openness is almost always a sham though. The real person is buried layers deep.
    One thing I've noticed is that you tend to be less theatrical around people you're really into. I guess you introvert more...?
    When just being flirty, Ne comes to the fore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #94
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    Apparently I act like an INFJ around guys I actually like.

  5. #95
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Apparently I act like an INFJ around guys I actually like.
    I forgive you
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #96
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I'm always fascinated by the propensity of ENFPs to seek out the observant/isolated people around them. I guess an INTJ is the conundrum of the isolated individual who enjoys it and therefore the ENFP gains some kind of empathic contentment by sharing that in addition to knowing that the INTJ is happy to encourage the ENFPs isolation modes when the ENFP needs to.

    We aren't so aggressive just extremely awkward and defensive.

    Probably more like:

    bingo.

    Quote Originally Posted by MatsNorway View Post
    So you think..
    well if anyone notices, it'd be an INTJ

    So if i just... want the hug its no fun then.. No challenge..
    no, that's okay, as long as you don't just start wanting hugs from anyone. that's when it's no fun anymore (and then you have to change your type, cause you certainly aren't INTJ anymore)

  7. #97
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    "flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee." — Milan Kundera
    A promise without a guarantee... yes, that sounds like something an ENFP might say...

    This is my biggest issue with sexual flirting without intent. To create sexual tension but withhold release is nothing short of cruelty.
    I don't understand why supposedly empathic people would be into that. And if they genuinely don't understand what they are doing, then they are not the great empaths that they claim to be....
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #98
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salome View Post
    A promise without a guarantee... yes, that sounds like something an ENFP might say...

    This is my biggest issue with sexual flirting without intent. To create sexual tension but withhold release is nothing short of cruelty.
    I don't understand why supposedly empathic people would be into that. And if they genuinely don't understand what they are doing, then they are not the great empaths that they claim to be....
    It is true that I have never thought about flirting this deeply...

    I remember watching a woman flirt with an old bf of mine (while we were together). Of course my first inclination was to hurl something heavy at her...but after watching it for a few minutes...I realized it was harmless. My bf was all freaked out...during the incident and then worse...after he noticed that I had witnessed the whole thing. He nervously said...'that lady was totally flirting with me'...and I replied...'that is a compliment!'

    I am not sure if there is some big difference between sexual flirting...and just flirting...but I do think that a lot of flirting is harmless...and it just says...'you're a cutie'.

  9. #99
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ i also agree with the sentiment of flirting is "you're a cutie"... more of a suggestion of possibility than a promise, love kundera though i do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Salome View Post
    A promise without a guarantee... yes, that sounds like something an ENFP might say...

    This is my biggest issue with sexual flirting without intent. To create sexual tension but withhold release is nothing short of cruelty.
    I don't understand why supposedly empathic people would be into that. And if they genuinely don't understand what they are doing, then they are not the great empaths that they claim to be....
    there is a significant difference between connecting with someone on a feeling level and understanding their thoughts towards something. Fi is intrapersonal mastery, but not interpersonal, and flirting is an interpersonal communication. the problem is, it's easy to get a read on another person's mental/emotional state - anxious, happy, joyful, impatient, concerned, yearning, drawing back, protecting, hiding, etc. - but not so easy to get a read on why or towards what. so while an empathic person could see that the other person is feeling desire and pleasure, it's not clear where their reasoning or intent lies. hence many ENFPs echoing the sentiment that we back away when we are unsure - because we may know the feeling, but we don't know what direction the feeling is moving in. heisenberg uncertainty, if you will


    anyway, i'm not trying to excuse that behavior, but trying to explain why it's not a cruel move - why someone who is an intrapersonal expert can nevertheless be much less interpersonally aware. as others have said, others often interpret ENFP behavior as sexual communication even when there is no intent on the part of the ENFP. to be honest, if someone asked me instructions on how to flirt, i don't even really know, besides act like i normally do. be interested, be engaged, be caring and aware, touch the other person in a comforting way if they seem to need reassurance. i don't understand the social back-and-forth, really - when to push forward and when to draw back. i always just ask my best friend - who incidentally is a Fe dom. she always knows what to do.

    i'm just grabbing two posts from the to ENFP males thread, totally independent of this topic:

    Quote Originally Posted by Ming
    I'm naturally happy/flamboyant/smiley ENFP annoying person, but I don't consciously flirt (if I do at all!). I don't think I'll flirt on purpose
    Quote Originally Posted by Emectar
    i know what your saying and when i first heard that thing about ENFPs leading people on about a year ago i vehemently denied it too myself. I think the trick is that we dont do it intentionally. The way we act around people naturally is the way most types reserve for those they like.
    though it also occurs to me that girls - at least in the US - are more socially expected and conditioned to flirt, so i think all of this holds even more true for men.

  10. #100
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i think one of the problems is that ENFP misleading - intentional or not - looks the way people think flirting should look...
    whereas, at least for me, when i really like someone, i get all serious and hesitant.
    i've decided that anyone interested in an ENFP* (particularly the female varietal) should wait until they get quiet, reflective, deep on them. i suspect that is the moment where we transition from our externalizing behavior to our inner core, and is probably a fairly good time to hit on us. why not be direct with someone already in a vulnerable state?


    *MN please take note
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

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