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Thread: INFJ and ENFP

  1. #81
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    Oh yes, the chameleon effect is very true in the instance of my best friend. This makes us very different. She could blend in with any group of people and match their energy levels. She would also slightly shift her opinions on things to fit the group she was with at that time.
    Quote Originally Posted by blomiki View Post
    As a young teen I actually called myself a chameleon. Loving everything and everyone around me and I just want to be part of everything. That's where the INFJ's invitation to reflection and analytical discussion, and his closure-seeking J, compliments this ENFP very much.
    It took me a while to balance my natural gift to tailor my approach to make people comfortable with my need to maintain my unique sense of self.

    <Please no trekker jokes. Seriously.> I feel like I'm gonna set back my cool quotient by 20 years if I admit that I immediately identified with a Star Trek Next Generation episode called "The Perfect Mate."

    That episode features an empathic metamorph, a creature perceived to be the "perfect mate" by changing her persona and behavior to meet another's emotional requirements and sexual desires through the use of a subtle form of telepathy/empathy.

    STARTREK.COM

    I still remember watching this episode many years ago. I said to myself, "My God, that's ME!!!!"

  2. #82
    Member Tofu562's Avatar
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    haha that episode had jean grey in it

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    It took me a while to balance my natural gift to tailor my approach to make people comfortable with my need to maintain my unique sense of self.

    <Please no trekker jokes. Seriously.> I feel like I'm gonna set back my cool quotient by 20 years if I admit that I immediately identified with a Star Trek Next Generation episode called "The Perfect Mate."

    That episode features an empathic metamorph, a creature perceived to be the "perfect mate" by changing her persona and behavior to meet another's emotional requirements and sexual desires through the use of a subtle form of telepathy/empathy.

    STARTREK.COM

    I still remember watching this episode many years ago. I said to myself, "My God, that's ME!!!!"

    I've also felt like that. You have to decide while you're single what kind of a person you want to be because it's super tempting to just become who the person wants you to be. I tried really hard in my previous relationship and ended up feeling so numb even though we "clicked" perfectly... because I was "matching" him so well, and couldn't remember myself.

  4. #84
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    i try to make the point of retaining my identity. while i may be more agreeable with some people, i never go as far as to actually become another person or convey different beliefs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tofu562 View Post
    i try to make the point of retaining my identity. while i may be more agreeable with some people, i never go as far as to actually become another person or convey different beliefs.
    I would say that I have similar boundaries. I've also noticed that as I've gotten older, I'm more likely to give people push back.

    I'm still very socially fluid and willing to tailor my approach, but I know who I am now and I'm not afraid to call it like I see it.

  6. #86
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    personally i think ENFJs are way more apt to do this than an ENFP

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    I also was "The Perfect Mate" and totally thought that episode was about me. I think I may even have chosen to complete my transformation by choosing to stop at the "me" I liked best, just like the metamorph did. For me that was with an ISFP mate. Luckily I got to keep him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fireandwater View Post
    I also was "The Perfect Mate" and totally thought that episode was about me. I think I may even have chosen to complete my transformation by choosing to stop at the "me" I liked best, just like the metamorph did. For me that was with an ISFP mate. Luckily I got to keep him.
    Fireandwater, you have made me cast aside my fear of being labeled a trekker.

    Let me (and I'm shamelessly proud of myself for being able to do so) tie in our metaphor of the Star Trek Metamorph to the original post in which Desert Flower asked about ENFP and INFJ relationships.

    It has been my personal experience that both the personality page and Socionics have valid theories about ideal complements. For example, I've had four "major" relationships in my life. Two were with ISTPs (my dual per socionics), one with an INFJ, and one with an INTJ.* While I knew of Jungian typology theory, it was only about two years ago, that I came to know of these "ideal match" theories. (In fact, it was because I discovered the creepy parallels between my dating history and the theory that I once again became interested in MBTI.)

    So back to the Star Trek Metamorph analogy... FireandWater talks about how she chose to stop her transformation with her current ISFP beau. I understand exactly what she means. And, in a way, I've done the same thing with my ISTP significant other.

    Per thepersonalitypage.com ENFPs and INFJs/INTJs are ideal complements. And my own personal experience is that this is true. There is this ineffable, magnetic energy between these types... especially the ENFP/INFJ pairing. When I hang out with my INFJ friends, our conversations are akin to those of an old married couple who can finish each other's sentences. And man alive... the intensity of the emotional connection can sometimes be overwhelming.

    But with my ISTP, I have a Socionics dual relationship. I can just be myself around my dual. So much of being an ENFP is orienting oneself around the emotional tenor of their friends and loved ones. This is one of the ENFPs greatest strengths, and taken to the extreme can be a weakness. But strength or weakness, this takes a tremendous amount of mental energy.

    When I'm with my ISTP, I don't have to expend this kind of energy. It's like we're sooo different that I don't even try. (And, we're both Ps, so we don't want to kill each other with the whole J/P wanting to bang your head into a wall thing.) He's like my Metamorph cryptonite (to add another hoaky allusion to this post). I just am. And, this gives me energy to do so many things I want to do. It has been a very, very satisfying relationship.

    So I would say that both the Socionic's theory of duality, and the personality page theory of same dominant function in opposite direction are correct. I think I could be very happy with either of these types. One is not better than the other, they just feel very different to me. With the INFJ there are incredible, transcendental moments that I've always yearned to have with an SO. With the ISTP, there is a calm and steady, eye-of-the-storm kind of experience.

    I, too, FireandIce, decided that I liked the person I was around my ISTP. And even if he and I were to break off our relationship, I hope that I keep the me that I am now when I am with him. I like her very much.

    *Also, I have dated INTPs, INFPs, ISFPs and three ESFPs. <--- Why three ESFPs I'll never know.

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