Thalassa
Permabanned
- Joined
- May 3, 2009
- Messages
- 25,183
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
Something that I've kind of puzzled over on this forum are ENFPs who married very, very young or who want to get married young. I think if someone had tried to marry me when I was 19 or 20 they would have had to tie me down with ropes, and even then I would have kicked and screamed, and may have even stabbed them afterward just for good measure.
I saw having children early as a huge mistake that I needed to avoid (not that I cast that judgement on others, just for myself) so that I didn't end up torturing the child and my self too.
Even when I was with my ESFJ ex for five years I felt as though I was trying to push him out of the neat little hole he'd carved for himself (guess what? four and half years after our break-up, he still lives in that hole...so I'll never try to push an SJ again...) and felt like I was much more active and changeable while we were together than he was. This only became stifling later in the relationship and also had to do with non-MBTI related problems. In a weird way I'm glad we had those problems because chances are we would have broken up anyway because I wouldn't have been able to stand what I see as the limited monotony of his life.
I like being in a relationship, though, and obviously as I've grown older I've grown more capable of commitment. I just can't stand the idea of being truly tied down by anything.
I realized when and if I do marry that person will have to understand me and allow me a certain degree of independence.
I saw having children early as a huge mistake that I needed to avoid (not that I cast that judgement on others, just for myself) so that I didn't end up torturing the child and my self too.
Even when I was with my ESFJ ex for five years I felt as though I was trying to push him out of the neat little hole he'd carved for himself (guess what? four and half years after our break-up, he still lives in that hole...so I'll never try to push an SJ again...) and felt like I was much more active and changeable while we were together than he was. This only became stifling later in the relationship and also had to do with non-MBTI related problems. In a weird way I'm glad we had those problems because chances are we would have broken up anyway because I wouldn't have been able to stand what I see as the limited monotony of his life.
I like being in a relationship, though, and obviously as I've grown older I've grown more capable of commitment. I just can't stand the idea of being truly tied down by anything.
I realized when and if I do marry that person will have to understand me and allow me a certain degree of independence.