Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of living each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.
— One Hundred Years of Solitude
I want this.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
I've been with my INTJ since I was 18 years old. We've had our doubts, obstacles and god knows what else. And it's in my nature to reevaluate at that point, to make sure that we're still right for each other and time and time again I came to the conclusion that there was just nothing in the world I would trade what I have with him for. But I need the freedom to do that evaluation. So yeah, I'm with you on that, marm. I am/was scared shitless of marriage and kids. My INTJ just shrugs at that and smiles. With any other girl, he'd ve done the whole proposal thing at the appropriate time and given her children, I have no doubt about that, as he considers this a mission complete.
I'm almost 30 now and I do sometimes dream about making it official...showing that commitment we both feel. But I doubt it'll ever be in the traditional format of marriage. It will be our own creation, I'm sure. The biggest issue I have with marriage is the legal part, the contract as such, which can result into messy divorces if it would ever come to that. But, it has its benefits. And the longer I'm with him, the more my anxieties on that wane. I've always trusted him, but never surrendered my full freedom. I'm getting to a point where I'm ok with that. Took me forever though and it's still beyond scary.
I was looking for that big love..feeling intensely. Or rather..it's what I wanted but was not in a hurry to find after my first. Then I bumped into him. When you meet a person who, without judgment and even with love, accepts who you are, encourages it and isn't scared of your Fi-bursts, and can somehow survive more than 3 days in the same house with you when no one else could, you hold on to them
I'm not saying I didn't have that 'is the grass perhaps greener?' curiosity along the way, but somehow the options i came across didn't measure up against the compatibility and history not to mention bond I had with him. And believe me, then it's easy to be committed, even at 18, and even in a long distance relationship (first 3 years) which, ironically gave extra freedom in a way
I never really thought too much about being married. I was more wanting to just be in love. True love. And I would want that person to know (like I know) that marriage can be boring and horrible at times but that we loved each other so much that we had to keep the romance going by doing special things and making each other feel like it was new.
when young I never planned to get married or have kids....I wanted to be free and independent of others and in control of my own future. I also watched my mom rely upon men for everything, both emotionally, mentally and financially so I felt a bit repulsed by the idea. I have always felt a very strong need to be able to be self sustaining and not rely upon others.
As I have gotten wrinkly I now have two kids, and eventually did marry and then divorce. It still freaks me out to rely upon others as I feel like I am a burden though, so seek to pull my fair share. ^^^all Fi stuff I suppose.
There is nothing wrong with not getting married young. In fact, I truly believe too many people get married too soon. This isn't the 19th century anymore, and we have the freedom to truly discover ourselves. I am a totally different person now then I was 10 years ago. I hate the divorce rate in our culture and part of it is due to the fact people get married way too soon. While I am pro marriage, people need time to truly discover themselves first. You can't depend on your partner to make you whole. You need to be a whole person yourself, before you are ready to find a person who is whole themselves. Being a whole person means you are truly at peace with yourself, it means you know your life's purpose, and it means you are confident in who you are. People from 18-30 years of age really need time to experience the world in their own way. I feel when people wait till their 30-40s before they get married, they have a much more fulfilling marriage because those people have had plenty of time to become whole themselves.
Hey guys im almost definitely the youngest user here and seem to be the most desperate for a stable long term relationship. Currently im looking for a girl to be with for a number of years. I find that when it comes to relationships, because im after this I get REALY picky and turn down tonnes of relationship opportunities cause they just dont cut it in my books. If even possible I would get married before I was 30 but I doubt my ability to commit to any girl by that time due to my intense pickyness, ts just that I dont trust myself when I read the signs of affection comming off of another.