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[ENFP] to ENFP males

Sunny Ghost

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How do ENFP males show that they like someone?

I've been thrown off by some ENFP males in the past and have a hard time distinguishing general friendliness from interest or like.
 

Sunny Ghost

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all EP's, or do you mean ExFP's?

i don't know... i've been confused before.

i suppose it's because ENFP's are intense people. they often offer a lot of eye contact, engagement, charisma, friendliness, general interest and attention. but is this just friendly behavior?

i ask as i've had a couple of ENFP's in my radar recently. with both, i felt as though they were attracted, but i have a hard time really telling. i don't know if it's because i'm more shy and perhaps give off a "not interested" vibe, or if i just misread in the first place.
 

guesswho

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ENFPs are pretty much like ENTPs, they don't hide things. I know a have a waaaaaaaaay hard time hiding something, not saying something, or acting differently then I want to, or pretending to act not interested. I'm pretty much honest and will say everything up forward even if I don't want to. I think ENFPs are pretty much the same..
 

Starry

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I agree with guesswho 100% in the sense that it is difficult for EPs to hide their feelings and that they can be very overt when romantically interested.

However, I do think that the ENFP can also be prone to give-off some pretty confusing signals as well.

I am thinking of my brother. A male ENFP. A few years ago now…he actually prepared 4…(count them)…4 beautiful Valentine’s Day cards for 4…(count them again)…4 different women. When my sisters and I got wind of this…we immediately intervened…asking him…WTF are you doing?

And the interesting thing is…is that he was a total innocent. He wasn’t trying to play these women. He legitimately…(and platonically)…liked these women very much and just got it in his mind that he wanted to give them all Valentine’s Day cards.

We literally had to explain to him that this was a VERY bad idea. That these women would consider this a romantic gesture. And still I don’t think he really got it (but thankfully did not hand out the cards).

My brother is very handsome…and unwittingly charming. He is a political, social and scientific genius…but so oblivious when it comes to women and I think he ends up giving off the wrong signals quite often.
 

Starry

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and he came out of the back to put away some dishes and it felt as though he immediately zoned in on me and smiled and said, "hello."

Hello again IndyAnna. Umm...can I just say that I am in love with your avatar.

Most of what you described above is neutral in the sense that I cannot ascertain either way if he is just being friendly or if he has some real interest in you. Except for this little bit above. For some reason this stands out to me a little more and I am not even sure if I can explain why. I'll try to think on that.

What I feel more compelled to express is - do not be worried about your nervousness. Obviously I do not speak for all ENFPs...however, I know quite a few of them and none of them would think poorly about you in this regard. The ones I know would most likely consider it endearing.

Either way he seems to notice you. And if you like him...just keep engaging him...nervous or not. Maybe it will lead to a really cool place.
 

skylights

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EPs show everything

generally true, but you have to know where to look :)

IndyAnnaJoan said:
i really do have a hard time distinguishing if i genuinely catch his attention, or if he's just doing the whole small town, "hey i recognize you" thing.

i'm sure you catch his attention. but as for whether he just LIKES you in the way that ENFPs tend to LIKE everybody, or whether he has taken a special liking to you in particular, is very difficult to tell. the best i can say is look for it in the little things - i'd say noticing your car is a good place to start, cause we usually fail at details like that. remembering lots of specific particulars is a very good sign.

StarryKnights said:
What I feel more compelled to express is - do not be worried about your nervousness. Obviously I do not speak for all ENFPs...however, I know quite a few of them and none of them would think poorly about you in this regard. The ones I know would most likely consider it endearing.
:yes: i actually am kind of put off by people who spill everything really quickly, or who REALLY WANT TO BE MY FRIEND.
i like people who are puzzles. and i would suspect most NFPs would recognize your nervousness for what it is.
 

skylights

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easiest way to tell is probably to try to nail something down with him - meeting up for coffee, telling him to text you, etc. if he actually follows through on it, then he's probably genuinely interested in you.

ps this is cute :hug: i hope it works out!
 

Thalassa

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I've known a couple of ENFP males and when they like you they stare at you, kind of like ENFP girls do, and sometimes they giggle or try to grab you.

I knew one in high school that was pretty fucking grabby. All the girls were charmed by him, but I was on to him...I swear to god I climbed into the backseat of my friend's car one night and he just...starts trying to make out with me. I guess this usually worked for him.

I find ENFP men kind of girly, they kind of remind me of myself, so I know their tricks, and therefore don't trust them.

Good luck, though, because when they are truly in love they seem to be very sweet.

For others.
 

Sunny Ghost

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hahaha. i can see what you mean by that with NF males in general. but i've always found the type attractive. i suppose i like soft and smart.
 
G

Ginkgo

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I knew one in high school that was pretty fucking grabby. All the girls were charmed by him, but I was on to him...I swear to god I climbed into the backseat of my friend's car one night and he just...starts trying to make out with me. I guess this usually worked for him.

.

Please continue! Your story is delightful. :laugh:
 

Thalassa

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My stories are always delightful, and end at just the right moment!
 

Sunny Ghost

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easiest way to tell is probably to try to nail something down with him - meeting up for coffee, telling him to text you, etc. if he actually follows through on it, then he's probably genuinely interested in you.

ps this is cute :hug: i hope it works out!

:blushing:
no... not really my style. i'd have to randomly bump into him, but actually stop and casually have a cigarette or casually have a coffee with him the first time. which really wouldn't be that hard. i swear we're both up there all the time either because of work (like i said, we work next to each other) or at the coffee shop, which is also next to where we work and we both seem to hit it up a lot. (it's a really cute little downtown area, and people will just come and hang out there for hours.)

i wonder how other ISFP's do in the realm of dating?

extroverts do it so easily. i was at the bar last night... again... and seemed to be the only person that went home alone! :( oddly enough, the three females i was out with were all ENFP's (i really do live in some strange ENFP/SP bohemia smack in the middle of redneck galore.) all three found a mate to leave with! not to mention i saw my manager, a young ESTP dance on the bar and also take a man home. not that i'm just wanting to take someone home... but initiation like that!
 

Thalassa

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:laugh:

ooooh... so might there be more to this story?

There's always more to the story. I've been on this forum for two years and just now admitted that I was briefly married once in an impulsive Vegas wedding.

Just imagine what else I'm hiding.
 

Amargith

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:blushing:
no... not really my style. i'd have to randomly bump into him, but actually stop and casually have a cigarette or casually have a coffee with him the first time. which really wouldn't be that hard. i swear we're both up there all the time either because of work (like i said, we work next to each other) or at the coffee shop, which is also next to where we work and we both seem to hit it up a lot. (it's a really cute little downtown area, and people will just come and hang out there for hours.)

i wonder how other ISFP's do in the realm of dating?

extroverts do it so easily. i was at the bar last night... again... and seemed to be the only person that went home alone! :( oddly enough, the three females i was out with were all ENFP's (i really do live in some strange ENFP/SP bohemia smack in the middle of redneck galore.) all three found a mate to leave with! not to mention i saw my manager, a young ESTP dance on the bar and also take a man home. not that i'm just wanting to take someone home... but initiation like that!

Girl, give him a challenge :D

Instead of *asking* him for coffee if you're too shy for that, use his tricks against him to get confirmation. Next time you bump into him, somehow casually slip into the conversation that you'll be having a drink, coffee, going for a walk, whatever, be at a certain place at a certain time doing something fun. Even better if it's something that's part of your routine, as that gives him more flexibility (no deadline, he can always try again later etc+ no real expectations= pressure-free ;)). Then see if he shows up...'accidentily' being in the same place at the same time :devil:

Of course, keep yourself from being disappointed if he doesnt :)
 

Uytuun

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and when they like you they stare at you [...] and sometimes they giggle or try to grab you.

I knew one in high school that was pretty fucking grabby. All the girls were charmed by him, but I was on to him...I swear to god I climbed into the backseat of my friend's car one night and he just...starts trying to make out with me. I guess this usually worked for him.

[...] I know their tricks, and therefore don't trust them.

Not all of them for sure, but this is recognisable. I'll admit to getting him all wound up and then dropping him hard as a way of exacting universal justice (avenging all the tricked ladies and such...a ruined expectation for a ruined expectation...not very nice or humble of me). Only made him (more) interested...which is the saddest thing, really.

Somone should tell him because much like the valentine's cards scenario I doubt he's fully aware of what he's doing. But it ain't my battle (anymore, apparently).
 

Sunny Ghost

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Girl, give him a challenge :D

Instead of *asking* him for coffee if you're too shy for that, use his tricks against him to get confirmation. Next time you bump into him, somehow casually slip into the conversation that you'll be having a drink, coffee, going for a walk, whatever, be at a certain place at a certain time doing something fun. Even better if it's something that's part of your routine, as that gives him more flexibility (no deadline, he can always try again later etc+ no real expectations= pressure-free ;)). Then see if he shows up...'accidentily' being in the same place at the same time :devil:

Of course, keep yourself from being disappointed if he doesnt :)

Ah, ha! So this is how you girls roll, eh? Tricky... I like it. ;)
 

Sunny Ghost

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Not all of them for sure, but this is recognisable. I'll admit to getting him all wound up and then dropping him hard as a way of exacting universal justice (avenging all the tricked ladies and such...a ruined expectation for a ruined expectation...not very nice or humble of me). Only made him (more) interested...which is the saddest thing, really.
Funny how that happens, sometimes.

Never done this with an ENFP, but with two different ESFJ's I dated, I somehow grabbed hold of the power stance in the relationship. I didn't necessarily want that position, but I suppose because I am less attracted to these types (though they are great fun to be around), that I hold very little back in the way that I feel... including my negativity towards them. (Mean of me, I know.) But for some reason, this keeps the ESFJ's wanting to hold on to me even more although I keep trying to pull away. In fact, the ESFJ ex I broke up with in March, and we only dated five months, still contacts me, writes me letters, sends me emails, etc. It's nuts!
 
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