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  1. #11
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    you aren't thinking of mooning over her for 8 freaking years without ever telling her of your feelings, are you? for god's sake, don't do that. tell her NOW, or move on.

    You're way,way, way too focused on finding "omg THE ONE" and not enough focused on real life. Why do you have to have a "controlled" life to date her?? It's not a marriage contract, it's not having children together....it's spending time together to see if you actually like each other when you're not putting her on a pedestal from afar. It's not actually a big deal. Girls don't have checklists for casual dating that include a "stable, controlled life" at age 22, because most of them aren't any more ready to "settle down" than you are right now.

    If you moon over her for 8 years, not only is it a waste of your life, but I'd bet you 20$ she's going to be creeped out/repulsed if she finds out you've been her "friend" for 8 years without having the balls to ask her out. especially for such a stupid reason.
    -end of thread-

  2. #12
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Probable: You will nurture something that isn't real for 8 years and then be heart broken when it doesn't work out how you had hoped.

    Another possibility: You are wanting to have the ideal without having to commit to it. Maybe you are sensing an immaturity in yourself that needs to grow and find this way to hold off on committing to something you shouldn't? That could be a good thing.

    Please note that I am not calling you immature, I got married young and we had a heck of a mess because of an immaturity J wanting a "perfect" thing. Maybe you are finding a way to combat that by pushing off committing but keeping the ideal you want.

    Why is this in the NF section? Your type says NTJ?

  3. #13
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    @Elaur: That's because the girl is INFJ

    @all Friends: I'm thinking about your advices ...

  4. #14
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    would you want her to keep her romantic feelings for you secret for eight years? would you want to find out eight years from now, after you've married someone else and had children with them, that she, all that time, loved you and wanted to be with you?

    put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment. what you're doing is unfair to both of you. don't make a life decision that involves her and her future without even respecting her enough to let her know she's a part of it.

    if you truly love her and respect her, you'll tell her what you're thinking and feeling before you make decisions for the BOTH of you.
    ✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
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  5. #15
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    exactly.
    -end of thread-

  6. #16
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I could, but I damned well wouldn't want to. Pining after someone and watching their life take place with only a half-sided hope in my heart is utterly ridiculous to me.
    Jump in. Take the dive. If you work your ass off for however long and then she chooses to refuse you, how will you feel? How worth it will it be? How much regret might you have for keeping quiet?
    Also, eight years is enough time for her to start something with someone else. Get your answers now, because the potential for chasing after someone who doesn't want you- or missing out on something with someone who does is not a fun potential at all. I cherish the lack of 'What If?'s in my life. I cherish diving head first into love, even if it is fleeting.
    Do It To It
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    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

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  7. #17
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Eight years is a LOOOOONG time.

    EIGHT YEARS!!!!
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  8. #18
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Sure I can, although that wouldn't stop me from dating other people during those 8 years, and likely fall in love with someone else and thus forget about my original "love".
    Besides, nowadays women can usually provide for themselves (often, better than how a man would provide for them).
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  9. #19
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    yeah, where did that number come from? tommyrader, YOU CAN NOT TELL THE FUTURE.

    now, with that new knowledge, start living your life in the present.
    ✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
    (¯`✻´¯)
    `*.¸.*'ღϠ₡ღஇڿڰۣ
    •.¸¸. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒჱܓ. இڿڰۣ.¸¸.இڿڰۣ´¯`·.─♥


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  10. #20
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I say about 1 year sounds good to fix up your life.

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