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Thread: ENFP's & age

  1. #31
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    this is how i see it . . . and what i've experienced first hand, as well as observed from other IRL enfps . . .

    we pretty much do everything backwards . . . or in reverse order . . . actually what's really going on is that we do not follow a linear path in life, so it feels backwards . . . also that bob dylan quote "the older i get the younger i get" or something like that rings very true . . .

    here's my observations based on irl enfps i know, as well as myself:

    1- kinda in a hurry to grow up
    2- get into very serious / committed "love" relationships at a relatively young age (for nowadays) & stay in that relationship for more than 3 years
    3- maybe (accidentally) get pregnant during that 3+ year relationship or maybe get married
    4- 3+ year relationship ends
    5- enfp reassesses everything . . . loses a lot of his / her idealism . . . does a 180 or 360 with the dating situation . . .
    6- as a result of #5 enfp is more mature, more wise, more "jaded" . . . but at the same time enfp feels younger, freer & loses a lot of previous "expectations" of life & love
    7- enfp looks back on previous "serious" relationship & says "what the hell was i thinking staying with X person for so long!!!"

    i don't know . . . i'm going on my own tangent . . . i don't know how to express this
    That's kinda crazy
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #32
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    this is how i see it . . . and what i've experienced first hand, as well as observed from other IRL enfps . . .

    we pretty much do everything backwards . . . or in reverse order . . . actually what's really going on is that we do not follow a linear path in life, so it feels backwards . . . also that bob dylan quote "the older i get the younger i get" or something like that rings very true . . .

    here's my observations based on irl enfps i know, as well as myself:

    1- kinda in a hurry to grow up
    2- get into very serious / committed "love" relationships at a relatively young age (for nowadays) & stay in that relationship for more than 3 years
    3- maybe (accidentally) get pregnant during that 3+ year relationship or maybe get married
    4- 3+ year relationship ends
    5- enfp reassesses everything . . . loses a lot of his / her idealism . . . does a 180 or 360 with the dating situation . . .
    6- as a result of #5 enfp is more mature, more wise, more "jaded" . . . but at the same time enfp feels younger, freer & loses a lot of previous "expectations" of life & love
    7- enfp looks back on previous "serious" relationship & says "what the hell was i thinking staying with X person for so long!!!"

    i don't know . . . i'm going on my own tangent . . . i don't know how to express this
    i think i agree with all of them except 7. i don't really regret any of my previous serious relationships (except one) and I only stayed with her bc she tried to commit suicide. but yeah, i think girls who approach late 20's take new relationships more seriously, while guys at that age might still be in "passing time" mode...

  3. #33
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    I agree with a lot of this, its fascinating. all 1-7 esp maybe the thing about pregnant bc i was a bit young



    as a child I was extremely friendly and sensitive, bright (reading also well before school started) and curious.

    as a teenager (well in high school bc Im in my early 20s) I was quiet, a bit dreamy, boarding on an infp on the inside, but appearing bubbly to others.

    I was also a bit over-romantic and got attached to friends/boys/inanimate objects very easily)

    It was very difficult for me to contain my emotions. my Fi was a bit overwhelming.

    well, it still is and it came out in very strong ways.

    also, one thing throughout my life, is its been extremely hard for me to live in the moment and be happy alone. I need people and future expectations and ideals and goals. I cant just sit and be happy without thinking. maybe thats working with my Te and Fi.

    is this making any sense? lol

  4. #34
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    Default Answer to gigi_xo

    Hi there,

    I'm probably the oldest enfp on the site so maybe I can help I'm over 40 sooo...

    NE:As a kid I was, yes, enthusiastic and friendly, a bit ott

    FI: Once I hit 10 onwards i remember a lot of sensitivity. Suddenly being aware that others didn't like me, found me annoying, my ottness, my enthusiasm, my open-ness irritated some. This made me feel more introverted, spent a lot of time thinking, writing poems etc, thought lots about spiritual things, had a lot of connection with deep and meaningful things (another thing others did not seem to understand so I 'introverted' - stopped sharing about) Left school early, had been there WAY long enough, did various jobs which i enjoyed voraciously at first, but then after 6 months got bored with (I've actually never done anything for more than a year - I start out great but long term I just can't commit - see so many other options, don't feel sure, start to feel like it's just 'work' .. oh dear!!!)

    TE: Got married young and had lots of children (which was GREAT - always something new AND meaningful going on there!) - also found my TE head, started to enjoy structuring our life, got routines going for housework, daily activities,discipline needs etc. Found it tiring keeping up with them all the time but forced myself for the good of the children.

    SI: Post 30 was hard for me. Is hard to see how my Si was developing but I think it showed in an awareness of living every moment, every day. I stopped thinking ahead ALL THE TIME and never really being present, and started being able to just sit down and soak up the moment. I realised that things like food and preparation of food, and simple household chores, and showering etc. where not just pains in the ass I had to do to get by, but where actually enjoyable in themselves and had value. I started to ENJOY a little more of ordinary things and not ALWAYS have to have something big and meaningful going on. I stopped MISSING all the little things (which I would often berate myself for later). Well, all this has happened TO SOME DEGREE but I'm still me - still obviously an enfp. Not so excited about food, much more excited about freeing the depths of your soul, or how life fits together in all it's amazing ways ... And housework, despite my having fairly good grasp of TE and SI, still overwhelms and depresses me on and off ...

    Does that help? Please ask a more specific question of me if you like ... I am very interested in this subject and would also like to help you more if I can

  5. #35
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    Default one other thing...

    I forgot to mention .. under 10 I was definitely CLEVER. Considered a 'genius' at piano playing, in all the advanced classes for English, maths etc. Yet when I got to high school that all dropped away. I THINK this could be because FI took over then ... I realise now I would have done well in higher education but I never got there (at the time) due to high school being a waste of time for me (or maybe me being a waste of time at high school Doesn't matter much though. Is easy to do such things LATER, after you've had a few adventures, lived life a bit, and KNOW yourself and what it's all about more ...

  6. #36
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I'm 18 and the functions I've developed most intensively over the last 8 years were Fi, then Te, and then Se. In that exact order.

    There was a depressive period of my youth, followed by a driven period where I buckled down and got to business with my life. But I got sick of that, and about a year ago I kind of got lazy! That's where Se awoke and brought me to do things in the last year that I won't get into here, but are very monumental marks of my youth.

    When I go to college, I'm kind of seeing a return to my core functions, specifically Ne.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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    Yes, well you do 'grow up' quicker as an enfp because you roll so fast from one thing to the next and are greedy for the next experience. I got married at 18, had my first child at 20, had 4 kids by the time I was 26, then moved to the other side of the world with them, started an experimental church .. now I'm a writer on a news magazine and who knows what's next ...

    Also older freinds seems to be a common thread with us all. when I was younger, my friends were always older people, now they're not though cos it seems somewhere during mid life people shut down. Now a lot of poeple I get on best with are younger people .. they are still open and exploring and trusting and often very interesting. Or really OLD people who are just always fascinating ...

  8. #38
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate7 View Post
    Yes, well you do 'grow up' quicker as an enfp because you roll so fast from one thing to the next and are greedy for the next experience. I got married at 18, had my first child at 20, had 4 kids by the time I was 26, then moved to the other side of the world with them, started an experimental church .. now I'm a writer on a news magazine and who knows what's next ...

    Also older freinds seems to be a common thread with us all. when I was younger, my friends were always older people, now they're not though cos it seems somewhere during mid life people shut down. Now a lot of poeple I get on best with are younger people .. they are still open and exploring and trusting and often very interesting. Or really OLD people who are just always fascinating ...
    I could not find more defining words.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  9. #39
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    I'm 25 years old. I find I haven't develop my Te side, yet. And I don't know when I'll develop it. But I'm not going to force it, it got to be natural.

    Anyway, I find that I'm more childish in my mid- twenties than I was in my child and teenage years. I was very mature in my teen years. I feel like I'm living my teen years now. I never want to loss my fun side of me. I picture myself being a very fun and eccentric woman in my last years.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  10. #40
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    10-20: Creative hermit. Analysing everything. Amazing sense of humour, very dark and deadpan. Sleepless nights thinking of designs, ideas, replaying situations, imagining situations, etc. Had to take natural sleeping tablets every night. Very chatty with my family at home. Always starting things and never finishing them. Left home at 18 to go to college which made my E flourish.

    20-30: now in my early 20s I'm a pretty full on extravert and even more childlike than ever before. I PLAY a lot

    I forced myself to do an academic course at college which put my creative pursuits on hold, in order to support my humanitarian pursuits. I've also started to force myself to do things like public speaking, etc, due to my humanitarian pursuits. These things do not come natural to me so I had to show a lot of humility. Making these changes, I would say, has changed my personality.

    I feel like a can't grow fast enough. I feel like I can't accomplish my goals fast enough and often find myself dreaming about the future when I'm alone. This might be because most of my friends are in their 30s.

    Is that what you had in mind??

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