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Thread: ENFP's & age

  1. #11
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
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    I remember when the Fi was kicking in my dad thought I disliked him because all I ever wanted to do was have my face buried in a book. I would read several books in one day.

    I'd say my reaction to this model in my life is a tendency overall to engage in the next function too early and cling to the previous function for a bit too long (finally let go after I feel the newest one I'm working on is half way there/stable) -- so very short bursts where I was completely immersed in only the development of time-appropriate function but mostly a desperate juggle of the present AND future.

    I'm trying to work on my neglected Te right now (I really feel my dominant and auxiliary functions harmonizing) as a means to achieve what I want ready so I can slide right into my impending inclination for Si. Always fantasizing about what I want to do when all of these are in place.

    I always feel really ahead & just a bit behind of the overall game.


    Oh, and I'm 23

  2. #12
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Oh no, I started this thread back at 2008
    Oh, memories, sweet memories.

  3. #13
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    I'm turning 40 this year. At this point in my life NeFi are so closely intertwined and working in tandem that they just seem like one happy whole and my innate nature. But here's basically how I'd describe myself during the time periods mentioned:

    0-10: I was in love with words and books from long before I can remember, having learned to read at 3. In addition to being a "bookworm" I was seen as a good student, was pretty easy going, got along with everybody, self confident, positive attitude, enjoyed nature and the country. My family was very happy at this point and encouraging of me -- especially encouraging me to develop my mind and be a good student.

    10-20: Became pretty dreamy, more emotional, lotsa castles in the air. Known to my friends as the "airheaded brain" Still loved books, especially sci-fi/fantasy. My ISTJ dad at this time tried really hard to "fix" me, by which I mean make me into a TJ instead of an FP.

    20-30: Developed kind of a tough exterior to protect all that idealism from the cold, cruel world. Became a newspaper reporter and then went to lawschool. Strong development of Te here, the ability to argue, debate, etc., which had been encouraged by my dad in the teen years. At this point in my life I did my level best to hide my Fi from the world and in fact had a lot of problems because I tried to override Fi with Te and so made bad decisions, esp. in the first half of my 20s, when I had two bad relationships in a row (also my parents divorced at this time). By the end of my 20s I had really come to terms with my True Self and what I wanted out of life.

    30-40: Settled down and had a family (instead of becoming a lawyer). At the beginning of this period I took the Keirsey test and learned about type. At that time I tested INFP, emphasis on the NF there in temperament theory. Halfway through this period I found myself in a really great place, happiest I've ever been, and surrounded by a really solid group of friends devoted to the same cause and lifestyle as myself. I ran across type theory again and tested ENFP. Took tons of tests on line since then and virtually always come up ENFP. Recently moved back to the family farm where I hope to make a living as a farmer and writer. Typologically it seems to me that what I've done most in this time period is reassert my essential nature, or locate and attempt to be as true to myself as possible. Maybe there's Si to be seen there as predicted in the model? I don't know. All I see is the harmonious blending of NF.

  4. #14
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    im 32

    i think my thinking hasn't changed that much from when I was 18. But I think I was a pretty mature 18 year old...

    One thing that I do hear is that I have a much more stable persona now, and that I am not as " wild" anymore. Whatever that means.... lol

  5. #15
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    This is very interesting, and It makes me think of where I lie in temrs of age. Cause physically im 20 years old, but mentally I assume myself to be much older. I had to grow up very quickly due to my childhood/or the lack of one. My parents where divorced and seperated when I was only 6 after this point we went to live with my mother. Who unbeknowst to us at the time was a complete pot head and cared more about her self than us. Our father was a manic depressive drunk and so it fell to me and my sister to raise our selves.

    A couple of my oldest friends(first friends in my life not age old) are actually 7+ years older than me. So when I was 13 yrs old I was exposed to things that only young adults normally deal with and began makeing decisions and oponions on things that I was not able to relate to with anyone of my age.

    This leads me to believe that I am reaching the peak of my Te growth. For an ENFP I am very logical and have many J qaurks, for instance. I hate wasting my time, if Im not happy with what im doing at the present or if it is not helping me further a future goal. Then get very irritated and agravated, I possibly the most impatient person ive met. I am also the only ENFP at my age who I know of is looking to already settle down. I believe this to be due to my mind being forced to grow at a rate that is unatural to help me survive on my own. And now that im 20 yrs old and able to do many things for myself i am suprisingly ready to settle down, begin a career and start a family.

    I am actually curious if there are anyother ENFPs who have similiar problems, maybe ENFPs all grow at a faster maturity and I just have an over reactive J. Or my mind really is 10 yrs older than my body and I will soon be outpaceing my friends once again. (something I high doubt wont and hope doesnt happen)

    Any thoughts on this?
    This is really interesting, and I can relate to it a great deal. I'm a bit older than you are - I will be turning 30 in a couple of months - and I have found that this gap normalizes, although you always seem to be a bit different than others around you.

    As a child, this chasm was nearly insurmountable, and as I got older, the chasm kept narrowing until now it is little more than a gap whereby if I take a big step, I can cross it. When I reach middle age, perhaps there will no longer be a gap - more like a little crack - I really do not know.

    In addition, I'd like to say that although I have a very mature side to my personality, there is a craziness that is growing and growing and growing. It's like I'm living my childhood now.

  6. #16
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    I see a common trend here of ENFP's having to "Grow up fast" or having a "difficult childhood". I wonder what that is about? There is like 4-5 of you up there either stating that or relating to that.....

    Plus - isn't that pretty much the norm anyway? It wouldn't really be signifigant if it is....

    All I ever hear is about how bad someone had it as a kid - you rarely hear anyone say "I had an AWESOME childhood!"

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  7. #17
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux Aeterna View Post

    In addition, I'd like to say that although I have a very mature side to my personality, there is a craziness that is growing and growing and growing. It's like I'm living my childhood now.
    hehe, yes I feel like now that I am not forced to be the most mature adult right away because I am finally comfortable with myself and where I'm going. I get to have my worry-free, do-as-I-please innocence I always wondered about. I had neurotic and depressed parents that gave me very good values and cared for me well.. but left me kinda :confused: and I had to figure it out on my own

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexx View Post
    I see a common trend here of ENFP's having to "Grow up fast" or having a "difficult childhood". I wonder what that is about? There is like 4-5 of you up there either stating that or relating to that.....

    Plus - isn't that pretty much the norm anyway? It wouldn't really be signifigant if it is....

    All I ever hear is about how bad someone had it as a kid - you rarely hear anyone say "I had an AWESOME childhood!"
    i had an awesome childhood! i grew up way too fast tho.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Huh. I actually grew into not taking things seriously, being way too talkative, and having as much fun as possible. I could probably have written the 0-30 (well.. 0-25..) portion of fireandwater's post, but interchanging the 10-20 and 20-30 blocks. Probably also the stuff that pyramid said.

    My ENTP dad told me that I was "weird" as a child and that my personality has completely changed since then.

    Though I still relate to relating to an older crowd. For me, a major part of that has been a drive to take on more responsibility than is normal for my age. I've always hung out with an older crowd and I've tended to date older, too, but that's relaxed as of late.

    In a lot of ways, I still feel like I'm waiting for the rest of the world--and for my experience level--to catch up with my overall mindset.

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