User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 12

  1. #1
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    237

    Default I like an INTP...

    and I want to do something about it. He's a freshman in college and I'm a senior in highschool. We've known each other for four years and we are friends.

    Does he like me back? I'm not sure. People have said in the past it definitely seems very promising, but nothing has happened. I DO know that he thinks very, very highly of me and respects me as a person. At the very least, we have potential.

    I indirectly found out if I asked him to a dance, he'd say yes. I think asking a graduate to a dance demonstrates, "Hey, I like you," and for that reason I think it's a good sign that he won't say no. (As an INTP, he's not the kind of person who will go to something just so he doesn't hurt your feelings.)

    If we go to the dance together and things seem to be going well, I was thinking about putting all of my cards on the table. I mean, I don't want to leave for college without thinking that I gave it my best effort. I was withholding it before because I wanted to wait for him to come around, but maybe I need to be more aggressive.

    I just don't know if that's a good idea. :/ Any thoughts? I can give more information if needed, I just didn't want to ramble too much. XD
    Everybody needs love.

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,658

    Default

    INTPs tend to only pay attention to those that can match their intellect or those that they very much enjoy. If he deliberately seeks you out, I'd say you have a good chance. I'd say start hanging out more one on one, seeking him out deliberately and casually drop the dance into the conversation, and work up to the fact that you'd like to go. See how he responds. At this point, ask him teasingly if he'd like to take you. That way you can avoid the akwardness if he doesn't and you can laugh it off, otherwise, you're in Let Nature tend to itself, but be assertive enough to make it happen, as you're both I's and INTPs tend to want to know very *very* sure that they're not invading someone elses space and are right about what the other wants.

    Happy Hunting to you
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    Junior Member quidtimeam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    25

    Default

    I've known one INFP that I was quite attracted to, but it didn't work out due to age and distance issues. The one I knew possess a certain mystique that I found very attractive, and is likely characteristic of INFPs in general. As INXPs, you both share a a rich absorption in an abstracted world in which you can both lose yourselves. If you have a match on that level, especially via extraverted intuition, he no doubt deeply enjoys this relationship as well, and is likely to respond to your advances.

    How socially mature of an INTP is he? If he doesn't have much experience with girls or dating, he may have been feeling the same way but afraid of moving on it for some time.

  4. #4
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    281

    Default

    Just tell him,be stright forward. Giving "hints" makes it more confusing just be honest about it. Also if he's not sure give him time to think about it don't push anything.

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    Just tell him,be stright forward. Giving "hints" makes it more confusing just be honest about it. Also if he's not sure give him time to think about it don't push anything.
    This. I say go for it, be honest, be straight-forward, He'll appreciate the honesty and the fact that you didn't draw it out, but certainly don't push, most of all just stay relaxed, No worries, It'll work out well!

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    go for it!

    at the very worst, it will be a little bit awkward, and you will head off to college and have so many more awkward experiences that this will pale in comparison

    but seriously, i'm with the INTPs above. just put it out there and let him think about it. my brother's INTP, and if the guy you like is anything like him, then he'll be very kind and socially quiet about letting you down, if he has to do so. but i suspect that he will not... like i said, my brother's INTP, and my dad too, and they both agree that they don't really tend to initiate if they don't have to, and they tend to be the pursued rather than the pursuer... so... you should go for it!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    237

    Default

    Thank you for your responses!

    You're right that he prefers other girls to initiate. At the same time, he takes dating really, really seriously and won't go out with anyone who he doesn't think is "the one." So, it's complicated. On one hand, I can't blindly "attack" without totally turning him off, but on the other I need do so something or nothing will happen. And I need to figure out where on the scale I am with few outward hints from him. Ai.... I get the impression that he knows I like him, and he hasn't run away yet. So that has to be a good sign? XD

    He's had one girlfriend in the past. They were together for about a year and a half and broke up about six months ago.

    I ended up asking him to the dance in a really clever way. I took his favorite Edgar Allan Poe story, bolded the words: "WILL YOU GO TO THE WINTER DANCE WITH ME?" in order as they appeared in the story, and sent it off in the mail. :P I'll get his response in two days or so. Bold, and something that he'll like.

    The question is, if he says yes, where do I go from here? I really don't know how to act around an INTP. D:
    Everybody needs love.

  8. #8
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Very clever using the story! That can't fail to catch his attention in a good way.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #9
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    I took his favorite Edgar Allan Poe story, bolded the words: "WILL YOU GO TO THE WINTER DANCE WITH ME?" in order as they appeared in the story, and sent it off in the mail. :P I'll get his response in two days or so.
    Nice! Some might think it corny, but I think he'll like it.

    The question is, if he says yes, where do I go from here? I really don't know how to act around an INTP. D:
    Just act like an INFJ. Just be yourself. It's really that simple. The two types are probably about as good a fit for each other as there could be. If you try to be something you are not (a non-INFJ), that's when it will be bizarre. It's always new and exciting, fun and exhilirating at the beginning - and you should enjoy all of those things about it - but don't put "added" pressure into the mix. Don't go into it thinking, "This just has to work out. I'm going to drop everything and make sure that this is perfect." Don't let perfectionism or trying to "project a certain image" rule the relationship in the early going. Just be yourself - be real with him, as relaxed as possible. Do simple things. Go to a movie. Eat at McDonald's once in a while (along with nice dinners too). Let him see you with messy hair. Be yourself. Be real. If he likes you, he'll probably go out of his way to make things nice and exciting and all of that stuff, but at his core he's probably not into things that are overhyped and fake. I want someone with class, sure, but I also want her to be comfortable in blue jeans or pajamas, no make-up, etc. Don't try to "prove" that you are worthy of his love or anything like that. Just be you. You can't go wrong that way, whether it works out or not.

    As an INFJ, if you are your authentic self, then the worst-case scenario will be that he will genuinely enjoy your company and enjoy talking to you. You will have a very loyal friend. The best-case scenario (if you like him), is that he'll fall for you and want to do everything he can to make you happy. But, 99% chance he won't "dislike" you.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  10. #10
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    237

    Default

    He responded! He sent me this on facebook:

    Hey (Coeur)! I would love to go to the winter dance with you, and I thought your invitation was very clever! I really wanted to tell you in person, but I was sick on friday (I heard you did well!) and I guess I missed you when I went to play practice today.* At any rate thank you for inviting me and let me know what color your wearing so I can find a tie :P
    See you soon,
    (his name)

    *He doesn't go to our school anymore, so it probably took him about 45 minutes to an hour to come to the practice. He was probably picking up his brother, but he wouldn't have had to volunteer to pick him up.

    What do you think?
    Everybody needs love.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-21-2010, 05:51 PM
  2. [INTP] Signs an INTP *Likes* You
    By seeker22 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 114
    Last Post: 04-27-2009, 10:01 PM
  3. [INTP] Becoming a "good" version of an INTP
    By ygolo in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-10-2008, 02:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO