User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 27

  1. #11
    Member Faine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    88

    Default

    I don't think I can add much that others haven't already said.

    Hm... I'll just say: don't try too hard. Generally, INFJs pick up on fakeness like a slap to the face and it's a massive turn off. Just be yourself and don't try to play up certain things that you think she'd find more appealing. Chances are she'll figure it out pretty quickly, and even if she doesn't, it's not something to base a relationship on.

    Quote Originally Posted by tommyrader View Post

    I realized that my thinking, my plans, my ideas, .... have no effect with her (INFJ). One time, when I feel too sad and lonely, I call her and talk to her with my heart, and it's effective, As it would seem that she can feel my heart, or she love the emotion from the heart .... something like that. But that just a moment, I cannot always do that, you know, I am ENTJ.
    How do you mean that your plans and ideas have no effect on her?
    Do you think she's not interested?
    Has she shared any of her own with you?

    The fact that 'talking with your heart', as you put it, got a good connection with her doesn't surprise me though.
    INFJ 9w1.

  2. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    First, I really thanks all your replies to my thread. I'm really happy for this!

    @all: I admit that I was wrong when using the word "conquer" to describe my love. ^^ I think I need to change some of my view ^^

    @eclare: It's so fun ^^

    @Fluffywolf: I wish I have a white horse ^^. As I talked before, I feel it's really hard for me to talk with the feeling. A little that I cannot understand other feeling. A little that I feel so weak when I do that. ....

    @Arclight: Will I have money? :P

    @Vasilisa: I'm sorry that I used wrong words and I also think I'm wrong in the point of view of love or the way I feel the love .... ( I'm really bad in describing my feeling).
    But you know that, I sincerely love her from the time I know that she waited her close friend (she loved him) 2 years in sadness.
    The story is that she and her close friend go together in 2 years. After that, they get into university. From that time, she and he is no longer close like the past. From that time, she's lonely, sad, hurt so much and ... it took 2 years.
    She share all those things to me (as a brother) and I know that, from that time, I fell in love with her.

    I really love when I realize she's so Loyal, faithful. She love people, She's tolerant; generous. She's sincere but also very intelligent (maybe more than me). But because of that, I realize that her heart is the huge castle that I can't get into.
    It's so hard with me, the one that have problem in reveal emotion, feeling. the one that have problem to talk with the heart inside.

    @Faine:
    How do you mean that your plans and ideas have no effect on her?
    Do you think she's not interested?
    Has she shared any of her own with you?
    Yaa. When I talk about some interesting things like game, travel, restaurant, music ... I read from her face that It's not interesting with her. Especially when I talk about physical things or logic things.
    But, when I change, I talk about people, about emotion, about sentiment, it make her notice and look happier.

    @fidelia: I'm trying to practice your advice ^^


    Thanks all for your advice, hope that I can recieve more your ideas!

  3. #13
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,099

    Default

    The fact that you feel weak when you do that seems to be a pretty common ENTJ trait. DiscoBiscuit wrote a thread awhile ago in the NT section about that called "The Iceman and the Child". You might find it interesting. I've found though that it is only when you can display some vulnerability or weakness, that people ever really see who you are. It's a way of expressing trust in them. Only when you trust them can you get close to someone. INFJs especially have a very hard time feeling close to someone who doesn't need what they have to offer. What they tend to have to offer is understanding about how people work or systems involving people. If that isn't interesting to you, or if you have a hard time showing that you need what she has to offer in the way of understanding and allowing you to be vulnerable in front of her, it's going to be unlikely that she'll feel like she really knows you, that you really trust her or that she can get close to you.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    139

    Default

    INFJs especially have a very hard time feeling close to someone who doesn't need what they have to offer. What they tend to have to offer is understanding about how people work or systems involving people. If that isn't interesting to you, or if you have a hard time showing that you need what she has to offer in the way of understanding and allowing you to be vulnerable in front of her, it's going to be unlikely that she'll feel like she really knows you, that you really trust her or that she can get close to you.
    This is absolutely spot on (although, let's be fair, almost everything fidelia says is spot on ). We need to give to people, and it's damn near impossible for us to comprehend why someone who doesnt want what we're trying to give would ever stick around. The best way to soothe that anxiety is to explain, with sincerity and in substantive detail, why you love being with that person. Tell her what she is giving you, how she makes you feel, why you're life is better with her in it. It may be that what you love is exactly what she's purposely giving, or it may be that it's something she wasn't even aware of. Either way she will find it gratifying and will most likely use the information to be even better to you.

  5. #15
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,099

    Default

    YES! THIS!

  6. #16
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    @Fidelia and Eclare: After 2 days thinking about your advices, I realize something (or can say, I discover a little thing) that, I not only need a strong reason, a strong thinking, I also need a strong heart. I need a heart that can show my sentiment, my love without scaring if people can hurt it. And if I don't have a strong heart, I can't feel love, and I will easily hurt if people don't love me.

    Is my thinking right? Friends

  7. #17
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,099

    Default

    I think so. There's no weakness in having a strong heart.

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    139

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tommyrader View Post
    @Fidelia and Eclare: After 2 days thinking about your advices, I realize something (or can say, I discover a little thing) that, I not only need a strong reason, a strong thinking, I also need a strong heart. I need a heart that can show my sentiment, my love without scaring if people can hurt it. And if I don't have a strong heart, I can't feel love, and I will easily hurt if people don't love me.

    Is my thinking right? Friends
    I'm not 100% sure what you're asking, but what I think you're getting at is that your heart must be strong enough to take the risk of expressing your feelings to others. If you cannot express feelings of love and need then you will end up hurting your lover, which will in turn hurt you. If that's what you're saying, then yes...you are exactly right.

    ENTJ's pride themselves on their strength, but in order to be happy with an INFJ you must be able to share your weaknesses. Ironically, it takes a very strong person to do that.

  9. #19
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Thanks friends, I'm trying ^^

  10. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Can I ask you one question, my friends.

    INFJ don't like power and don't like to be affected by power, do they ?

Similar Threads

  1. [E2] How can you tell whether you 'love' a person?
    By Rasofy in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-28-2014, 03:54 AM
  2. [INFJ] How can you tell if an INFJ likes your company?
    By briochick in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 10-20-2013, 12:35 PM
  3. [MBTItm] How does ENTJ conquer INFJ's love ?
    By tommyrader in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-07-2011, 06:19 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ and Love - Is not having it an issue that needs fixing?
    By kccrush in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 10-08-2010, 07:16 AM
  5. [INFJ] How can I tell if a female INFJ likes me or not?
    By ldzpplin518 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-17-2009, 03:10 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO