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[ENFP] Noboby Can Piss Me Off Quite Like An ENFP

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
I think you should have provided us a synopsis of what happened, and probably the earlier letters too.

It sounds like she's blaming you for hurting your own grade by not turning in the magazine cut outs on poster board, which you called stupid.

Also, taking a bitchy tone with a professor is never a smart way to get your way (although, I never cared to argue over a single grade I got in college).

Oh, and your explanation of how something was illogical -- I couldn't fully gather what it was that you were talking about -- was not very well presented.

I'd give you a B+ C for this performance.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Okay

This was my letter.



This was the response

Does no one else see this?

ThatGirl...how do you know this is an ENFP? Okay...I know I am always asking people that (it actually helps me learn more about my own type)...but for whatever reason I don't think this is an ENFP kind of response. I feel her response would be shorter and more forceful. Maybe even weirder or more dramatic. I don't know.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Original post and response.

Hi TG-

This is a very nice letter and I always welcome letters when someone is concerned about something. Let me reply below in bold.

>>> TG 12/24/10 2:34 PM >>>
Professor,

With all do respect I very much disagree with your decision to give me a B in your class. I am not going to attempt to go into some sob story about what this semester was like for me but I would like to highlight a couple of key points.

I feel that I took the time to respond respectfully to all of your questions for every assignment submitted. I did not simply fly my way through this class, but took the time and effort to come up with what I believed were the most correct answers possible. Your decision to grade my post on the Communicating in Relationships (pertaining to culture) assignment as a 17/35 was surprising to me. Without going back on the board which is already archived, I did check my paper points and comments and you were indeed late on this paper. I always correct in one color ink and then in another for late papers of which there were three and yours was one of them. Even if you had received all the points, it would have fallen short of the points required for an "A" in the class. In addition there were a number of papers during an earlier time period that I recall in which I had to remind you of work that was late and which you acknowledged, that I did not count off for. I understand this was one of the only assignments where I made personal references to the questions asked, but I felt the examples were relevant for the task given. I don't have a problem with personal references as long as the required answers were there too. I don't know if that applies as I don't have access to your class any longer. We were actually asked to use personal references. That post was also submitted on time, so I don't see lateness as being a factor, and simply do not understand the grade.

The second was the Mid-Term exam which I explained to you was due to my financial hardship. I simply could not afford the book but I still showed up and thought thoroughly through all of the questions asked. From what I understand, I managed to at least average the class score, while others had the advantage of using the text. I am not sure why you include this point since it was a multiple choice exam and was not graded subjectively. Points cannot be given because an instructor likes a person or feels sorry for them or any reason like that. Your answers can only be right or wrong. The college makes it clear that there is a textbook for the class and they do not take into consideration whether you can afford it or not. If you are taking other classes at VVC or any college you will find that if a textbook is required- it's required. If you do not have it - they do not care, unless you qualify and have applied for - their help. It is the same in any class with a textbook and text driven questions on exams. So unfortunately- this is a moot point.

The third point was that the only assignment I did not submit was the Non-Verbal assignment. I tried to explain to you that this assignment was not solely about my own ability to complete it. It required a partner, and time taken out of business hours. First of all, I don't have friends I can call favors on. Most of them are very busy, and I myself, work full time, am a single mother of a four year old boy, and outside of campus class time, usually work on my assignments after 10pm at night. Wow- all I can say is that I have no answer for this point. If I were to give everyone points for not doing the assignment for one reason or another- I would not be much of an instructor. It is what it is. Maybe if you had approached me and explained why this seemed impossible for you to do at any time at all we could have found a substitute assignment.

While most people would have tried to bull their way through the assignment, and some told me they did, I respect my writing, assignments, and professors enough to not submit dishonest work. Had the assignment solely relied on my ability to complete it, the issue would have been different. That shows good character. Classes will always have cheaters. They lose in the long run though.

Aside from these three points, I do feel that I attended the class with an above average level of dedication. I took time to learn the material, and produce my best work possible. Aside from my son needing me or being sick, I was in class, and volunteered for almost every class related project. This was due to genuine interest in the class content, and the desire to incorporate the material into my real world experience. I appreciated your class involvement and your integrity and I am sure other instructors will also.

This is the first e-mail I have ever written in regards to my grades, and honestly feel (especially due to the level of work submitted by others in class) that this grade was unjustified. I hope that my responses clarify why you received this grade. You have a high B+ in the class in spite of not having a textbook. That helps me to know that you gained a tremendous amount of information by listening and participating. Good work!

I ask you to respectfully re-review my assignments, and your decisions toward the value they were graded upon.

Thank you for your time. You are welcome. I am sorry it was not the grade you preferred, but I do think the grade is justified.

Then it went like this:
Professor,

I never asked you to give me points on assignments that were not submitted. The goal of my e-mail was to shed a little light on my three failures in the class (my lowest grade, the mid-term, and the absent assignment), and ask you to compare them against the value of my overall work. To assess whether those factors honestly contributed to my being less successful in the class. As you said, I was on the higher end of a B, north of 88% if I calculated correctly.

I don't want anything I didn't earn, so if you honestly don't think I deserved an A, what more can be said?

Then this response,

Thanks for clarifying your intention in the last letter. There is no question that not completing an assignment, turning in work late and not doing as well as you would have liked on the Midterm contributed to your being less successful in the class. You had 880 points total out of 1000. That is a" B+". I feel that is the grade you earned as well. 900 points is what it took to achieve the lowest "A" in the class. There were 8 students who achieved an "A" in the class.

I wish you well in future classes and a Happy New Year too.

Followed by my previously submitted responses.

I am open to analysis.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
At first I thought it Was maybe one or two extreme cases, but now...sheesh.

What is wrong with you guys, how can you honestly go through life thinking the way you do!

It is to the point if I even remotely suspect you may be an ENFP I will instantly feel disturbed by your presence...

The thing is, the ENFP behavior is so universal I can predict the exact reactions, conversations, and issues that will come up.


I don't want to hate a type but...jesus christ!

I know exactly where you're coming from in regards to ENF's taking strong emo (often illogical) stances. My older sis' is ENFJ and it's constant dramatic chatter. Like yesterday, when we went shopping. It was chatter from the time I picked her up to the time we drove home. She's as popular as one can be; tons of friends. She was the varsity cross-country runner in high-school with the fastest time. The classic "sorority girl". I could never compete with her socially. Internally, it's a struggle for me to empathetically listen to a lot of it. Love does miraculous things though because somehow I'm flexible enough to listen; for that reason, we've always gotten along extremely well. I admit, I couldn't do that for just anyone. I would avoid going out with an ENFP/ENFJ that I wasn't related to. It's draining.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
You couldn't come up with the 20 points you needed to make an A. Whatever excuse was here or there, you didn't make it. You need to move on from that. If you're THAT worried, re-take the class and they'll replace it with an A.

Based on your writings, I wouldn't have given you extra points either. 20 points is a lot to botch for no reason. "I'm a single mom" is not an excuse in college for not having a textbook. Everyone in college is a single mom or dad. How would the professor ever know if you truly were one or not? People lie all the time. "My grandma died, thats why I wasn't in the review! PLEASE email it to me!" You basically said "I had no textbook, I was late on assignments or didn't do them, but I deserve to have my grade botched even though I didn't give you 100%."

You're smart TG. If you had tried, you would have gotten an A. But you didn't, so you didn't. Getting a B is not a bad grade at all for not having a textbook and having late assignments. I'd be happy with it and let it go if I were you. It is not the professor.. It really just isn't.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
^ Kyuuei is right on about all of that. As for the B, not a big deal unless you needed the A for some other reason.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
You couldn't come up with the 20 points you needed to make an A. Whatever excuse was here or there, you didn't make it. You need to move on from that. If you're THAT worried, re-take the class and they'll replace it with an A.

Based on your writings, I wouldn't have given you extra points either. 20 points is a lot to botch for no reason. "I'm a single mom" is not an excuse in college for not having a textbook. Everyone in college is a single mom or dad. How would the professor ever know if you truly were one or not? People lie all the time. "My grandma died, thats why I wasn't in the review! PLEASE email it to me!" You basically said "I had no textbook, I was late on assignments or didn't do them, but I deserve to have my grade botched even though I didn't give you 100%."

You're smart TG. If you had tried, you would have gotten an A. But you didn't, so you didn't. Getting a B is not a bad grade at all for not having a textbook and having late assignments. I'd be happy with it and let it go if I were you. It is not the professor.. It really just isn't.

Go back and re read the original (final) text.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
Go back and re read the original (final) text.

Maybe she was demonstrating how an ENFP might inaccurately take a strong stance. :tongue:
I assumed you all had a heated discussion without me in vent about grades and single mom stuff. Regardless, kyuuei made some excellent points; perhaps just out of context for this thread...? Where did all of those details come from?
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
You couldn't come up with the 20 points you needed to make an A. Whatever excuse was here or there, you didn't make it. You need to move on from that. If you're THAT worried, re-take the class and they'll replace it with an A.

Based on your writings, I wouldn't have given you extra points either. 20 points is a lot to botch for no reason. "I'm a single mom" is not an excuse in college for not having a textbook. Everyone in college is a single mom or dad. How would the professor ever know if you truly were one or not? People lie all the time. "My grandma died, thats why I wasn't in the review! PLEASE email it to me!" You basically said "I had no textbook, I was late on assignments or didn't do them, but I deserve to have my grade botched even though I didn't give you 100%."

You're smart TG. If you had tried, you would have gotten an A. But you didn't, so you didn't. Getting a B is not a bad grade at all for not having a textbook and having late assignments. I'd be happy with it and let it go if I were you. It is not the professor.. It really just isn't.

This. I'm an NT and a professor. You seem to be the one reacting emotionally to this, TG, expecting your professor to give you special treatment due to your life circumstances. When you sign up for a class, you're expected to have the text and complete the assignments, even if you have kids. Even if you work fulltime. If you can't fulfill any of the requirements, it's not your teacher's responsibility to accommodate you, though she can choose to have mercy on your situation. It's certainly not your teacher's responsibility to place a text in the library, to provide you with a partner, to accept late assignments, or to alter the assignment to accommodate you. Let me tell you, out of 28 students in any given class, about 25 of them have "special circumstances." Your teacher would never get anything done if she had to flex for all of them.

I don't see any evidence of your teacher being irrational or emo here.
 

strawberries

shadow boxer
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
947
MBTI Type
----
when you've put up with torturous SJ law school professors we'll talk. :coffee:

move on.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
"I'm a single mom" is not an excuse in college for not having a textbook.

Maybe not, but it IS an excuse for why I registered for classes within certain hours..

Which is what "single mom" pertained to.

The text, I went over in chat.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
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MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
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Go back and re read the original (final) text.

HERE, in the email, you are saying "If you feel I deserved that grade, what more can I say?" But it is obviously not how you truly feel at all, because of your anger in Vent. I am saying that what you faked in that email is how you're suppose to feel. You have three things you admit to being 'at fault' on.. you doing well on MOST of the stuff is what a "B" means. You didn't make the extra effort to get that "perfect" grade, or you couldn't for whatever reason, and because you weren't perfect you didn't get it. But a B is a "You did well, you understood the material and worked hard." That is what it means. That is what you did. You're angry for no reason.

Instead, you're saying you acknowledge you did most of the work.. but you want her to look at the work you did do and have it somehow make up for the work you slipped up on. "The goal of my e-mail was to shed a little light on my three failures in the class (my lowest grade, the mid-term, and the absent assignment), and ask you to compare them against the value of my overall work." That's all this says. "Look, Im not a BAD student.. I just slipped up a bit." But slipping up a bit is not the teacher's responsibility to cover you for. Even if you have good reasons for why the assignments weren't done, it doesn't matter. They weren't done. I had a very frustrating and annoying professor that did not cooperate with me at all.. and I got a B as well this semester. It's over. The grade I got is what I deserved, whether I feel I do or not. It doesn't matter what my feelings are. The grade and my performance is all that matters. Everything else is subjective. You're asking for subjective consideration on an objective grade. Which is fine, but it's up to her if she does that or not. And she didn't. So move on.

Perfectgirl: The single mom stuff comes from the part here: "It required a partner, and time taken out of business hours. First of all, I don't have friends I can call favors on. Most of them are very busy, and I myself, work full time, am a single mother of a four year old boy, and outside of campus class time, usually work on my assignments after 10pm at night." No one cares. That is really harsh to say.. because people should, to me. I know it's a difficult job.. raising me with TWO people was difficult! but they don't. The professor CAN'T. There are too many single people in college for them to care. It'd be impossible. We hear this excuse in the army all the time, and it just can't fly or people would get away with murder.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
This. I'm an NT and a professor. You seem to be the one reacting emotionally to this, TG, expecting your professor to give you special treatment due to your life circumstances. When you sign up for a class, you're expected to have the text and complete the assignments, even if you have kids. Even if you work fulltime. If you can't fulfill any of the requirements, it's not your teacher's responsibility to accommodate you, though she can choose to have mercy on your situation. It's certainly not your teacher's responsibility to place a text in the library, to provide you with a partner, to accept late assignments, or to alter the assignment to accommodate you. Let me tell you, out of 28 students in any given class, about 25 of them have "special circumstances." Your teacher would never get anything done if she had to flex for all of them.

I don't see any evidence of your teacher being irrational or emo here.

First of all, I never asked my professor to allow me special treatment, though this is enlightening.

I did receive a B in anatomy, with a professor who was very much T. I adjusted my schedule knowing the ropes. I also was like in the worst time of my entire life. I still managed a B. Didn't complain. Accepted it.


I am saying this to shed some light on the type of student I am. That I do not take education lightly.

This particular professor stated to communicate with them, and I did. Had I otherwise been informed, she even stated *had I communicated with her* it would have been different.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Mon, I approached her before hand, on all three points.

I owned my part, but there were other factors.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
Getting a B is not a bad grade at all for not having a textbook and having late assignments. I'd be happy with it and let it go if I were you.
My thought exactly. I had trouble completing several assignments for one course due to my work shifts, and I was almost certain I would fail. Amazingly I got a B- since I did so well on the quizzes and tests, and well I didn't raise hell about it. :shrug:

There are several reasons to rant about ENFPs, getting a B+ isn't one of them.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Reminder: I was asked to give an example.

I am sorry, did I seem unusually pissed off?

Does that even make sense to the thread title?
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
Well give a better one. Here: ENFPs often have that high-pitch giggling that drives you crazy. :steam:
 
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