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Thread: Evil Infjs

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    Junior Member Danbenyo's Avatar
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    Default Evil Infjs

    ? Indeed.
    How do you deal with those kind if people?
    Its not a blog so I aint gonna tell my story, but what is the way to deal with those kind of people?
    Dont get me wrong, I love INFJ, I have INFJ friend but this one used to be my friend and I really trusted him, eaven when he consistently back stabbing me. He scar me for life, he is not very smart, he got a short temper, but man he is bad.
    Should I finaly confront? Im pretty scare from this guy willing to go to DARK places to remain his ego.
    plz give me some tips.

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    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Bomb their bunkers.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

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    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danbenyo View Post
    ? Indeed.
    How do you deal with those kind if people?
    Its not a blog so I aint gonna tell my story, but what is the way to deal with those kind of people?
    Dont get me wrong, I love INFJ, I have INFJ friend but this one used to be my friend and I really trusted him, eaven when he consistently back stabbing me. He scar me for life, he is not very smart, he got a short temper, but man he is bad.
    Should I finaly confront? Im pretty scare from this guy willing to go to DARK places to remain his ego.
    plz give me some tips.
    An INFJ with a short temper who you're afraid to confront? That's a rarity! I have never dealt with such a dark INFJ (I only know a couple other INFJs, and they're very agreeable people), so I don't know what to tell you.

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    Criticism is what makes INFJs evil.. Before that happens .. The worst they are is most likely, just a bit oblivious to things and how their behaviors might affect those around them. Maybe a bit controlling.

    The problem is bringing it up.. How do you criticize someone who dies every time they are criticized??

    I have tried to love 2 INFJs .. so please don't give me the usual "it's how you deliver it" .. I am very creative and accommodating.. I have tried everything. I have stuck with what was recommended to a T.. Still doesn't work..
    Some INFJs just refuse to be wrong,admit they made a mistake, are inappropriate bad or flawed (Human?). Tell them you hurt.. They don't care, you've insulted them.. Tell them you love them, and that the only reason you brought it up is because it hurt you and all you want is to prevent further hurt in the future. It doesn't matter.. Your hurt doesn't matter.. You have hurt them by being critical.. and That's IT!!! you are now in evil INFJ territory.. The only way out is total submission or to walk away..

    So How do you deal with a butt hurt INFJ who can't see 2 inches beyond themselves?

    I don't know either.

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    Junior Member Danbenyo's Avatar
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    Arclight, we meant diffrent things.
    Im tallking about a INFJ that his self image is so poor that he have to hurt others that he see as a threat, and he have no shame hitting u in the balls while ur shaking his hand.
    For your problem, I think u should just let it chill, wait for the right time/opprutunity( when they need you/want to understand the problem they didnt notice) and say what U have to say in His\Her face, Worked for me.

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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Sounds a bit like my INFJ aunt. I adore her and get compared to her a lot by family (so this criticism is not as harsh as it seems; and she does have good qualities), but she might qualify as an Evil INFJ (and yes, she has tested INFJ & even gone to an MBTI seminar & verified it). I'm going to illustrate with a detailed description of her flaws, because I know many can't imagine the all mighty INFJ type ever being a mere mortal with flaws.

    1) She is very much a "dish it out, but can't take it" type. She can say extremely nasty, mean things to people in the heat of emotion, and you had better forgive her later, but if you do it to her, she'll hold a grudge for years over how awful you were to her (she'll be "traumatized" and blah blah). I may be sensitive also, but I get over stuff way faster, and I know if I dish it out, then I have it coming back to me & can't gripe about it.

    2) Has a really, really bad temper that she takes out on people a bit too easily. Worst of the FJs in my family; and she has no shame about it & will never apologize later. Sometimes her sharp tongue is funny. She'll insult strangers in public by making purposely loud comments about them to her friends/family. I have to admit, it's hilarious & we egg her on. However, when her sharp tongue terms on someone close to her, it's shocking how cruel she is. She once was mad at her ISTx husband, and in a store when it came time to pay, she took money out of her purse, tossed it on the ground and said to him "Pick it up and pay" in front of a line of people. How humiliating and emasculating for him... Before she had couple's therapy she did stuff like that a LOT to him.

    3) Has possibly never uttered the words "I'm sorry" in her whole life. Like too many INFJs, there's an arrogance about their rightness, so that they can never humble themselves to admit they were wrong. The other person always has to make the bridge first because they never see their part in it; too quick to criticize others, and an aversion to self-scrutiny. I cringe every time my ISFJ mom has to extend the olive branch with her sister, when my aunt was the one who crossed the line (she called my mom a "stupid cow" once when my mom emailed her to tell her their mom, my gma, was very ill in the hospital, implying my mom was trying to lay a guilt trip by telling her about it - who does that?!).

    4) Manipulates people's sympathy to get her way or hide the truth. When she was a kid, my mom said she played up her asthma with their dad to get attention and her way. As an adult, she does this to some degree. It's a lot sneakier than open victim-playing though. Her husband and her separated for a bit years ago, and she successfully painted him a jerk to others; anyone who witnessed scenes like the above mentioned store example could sympathize with him a bit though....

    5) Two-faced. She's on the side of whoever she is talking to, eager to criticize whoever is not there.

    6) Massive hypocrite. She'll talk on and on about being vegan and boycotting McDonalds and all her green peace crap, but then she'll start eating meat again when her vegan diet causes her to gain weight (too many carbs). She gets fast food all the time, because she does not like to cook and is a working mom; out of convenience, she'll break her boycott against McDonald's because she's to tired to go out of her way to another drive through. The inconsistency with her beliefs and behavior is astounding to me. To an FP, this kind of inconsistency is inexcusable, especially when accompanied by a shamelessness. She justifies it so easily in her own mind (Ni perspective shift?). Also, she can go on and on about her beliefs, however much they contradict yours, but don't you dare mention your beliefs that contradict hers, or she gets all huffy & accuses you of guilt-tripping.

    7) Bossy in a way that insults other people's intelligence, and just butts in where it's not her place. She tried to plan the menu to my HS grad party - even though she was not attending it. She once sent a list of foods her son could and could not eat when staying with us (ridiculous stuff like "only organic beef", and he can't drink out of plastic cups :rolli: ). For many years, my mom trusted her to watch me as a child, without any detailed set of instructions, before my aunt was even a mother herself. My mom has raised two kids; it's not like she's going to poison her nephew.... Plus, as we took care of most of his expenses while he stayed with us, it was very rude to expect us to go out and buy special food for him. This is even more ridiculous considering my aunt hardly cooks. Her family eats out all the time (I stayed with them for a summer once). My mom, however, cooks everything from scratch and we have wide pallets. My cousin is picky about food and prefers processed packaged stuff, because that's what my aunt feeds him.

    8) Snobby, but pretends she is not. She'll wail on about how materialistic SoCal is (she's in NorCal), but then makes fun of how people in her hippy town dress. She's always been into name brand clothing. The label is more important than the style to her. It can be the most bland dress ever, but if it's a designer label, then she likes it. She acts picky about food quality in restaurants, but then cooks packaged stuff and feeds fast food to her family a lot. She's very status conscience & places a lot of emphasis on getting degrees and having impressive job titles (especially for her son), but yet, she never finished college herself and has some non-descript office job. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with the hypocrite thing...

    9) Not affectionate. Her personality is only warm in that she compliments people a lot and can be outgoing socially (not a shy introvert). She hates hugging and sentimental expression though. I would have typed her a T (I thought eNTJ maybe), but I realize now she is very Fe, just not typical soft Fe.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danbenyo View Post
    Arclight, we meant diffrent things.
    Im tallking about a INFJ that his self image is so poor that he have to hurt others that he see as a threat, and he have no shame hitting u in the balls while ur shaking his hand.
    For your problem, I think u should just let it chill, wait for the right time/opprutunity( when they need you/want to understand the problem they didnt notice) and say what U have to say in His\Her face, Worked for me.
    Yeah.. I am sure my impatience doesn't help.. But I hurt and I need that to be attended to and if by being hurt I am hurting the INFJ ..It's defiantly a deadly combo.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Danbenyo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Bomb their bunkers.
    Ur right, I thought about it and I come up with a plan. This guy isnt that smart after all. Ill update with the result to help others that have the same problems with an INFJ.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Sounds a bit like my INFJ aunt. I adore her and get compared to her a lot by family (so this criticism is not as harsh as it seems; and she does have good qualities), but she might qualify as an Evil INFJ (and yes, she has tested INFJ & even gone to an MBTI seminar & verified it). I'm going to illustrate with a detailed description of her flaws, because I know many can't imagine the all mighty INFJ type ever being a mere mortal with flaws.

    1) She is very much a "dish it out, but can't take it" type. She can say extremely nasty, mean things to people in the heat of emotion, and you had better forgive her later, but if you do it to her, she'll hold a grudge for years over how awful you were to her (she'll be "traumatized" and blah blah). I may be sensitive also, but I get over stuff way faster, and I know if I dish it out, then I have it coming back to me & can't gripe about it.

    2) Has a really, really bad temper that she takes out on people a bit too easily. Worst of the FJs in my family; and she has no shame about it & will never apologize later. Sometimes her sharp tongue is funny. She'll insult strangers in public by making purposely loud comments about them to her friends/family. I have to admit, it's hilarious & we egg her on. However, when her sharp tongue terms on someone close to her, it's shocking how cruel she is. She once was mad at her ISTx husband, and in a store when it came time to pay, she took money out of her purse, tossed it on the ground and said to him "Pick it up and pay" in front of a line of people. How humiliating and emasculating for him... Before she had couple's therapy she did stuff like that a LOT to him.

    3) Has possibly never uttered the words "I'm sorry" in her whole life. Like too many INFJs, there's an arrogance about their rightness, so that they can never humble themselves to admit they were wrong. The other person always has to make the bridge first because they never see their part in it; too quick to criticize others, and an aversion to self-scrutiny. I cringe every time my ISFJ mom has to extend the olive branch with her sister, when my aunt was the one who crossed the line (she called my mom a "stupid cow" once when my mom emailed her to tell her their mom, my gma, was very ill in the hospital, implying my mom was trying to lay a guilt trip by telling her about it - who does that?!).

    4) Manipulates people's sympathy to get her way or hide the truth. When she was a kid, my mom said she played up her asthma with their dad to get attention and her way. As an adult, she does this to some degree. It's a lot sneakier than open victim-playing though. Her husband and her separated for a bit years ago, and she successfully painted him a jerk to others; anyone who witnessed scenes like the above mentioned store example could sympathize with him a bit though....

    5) Two-faced. She's on the side of whoever she is talking to, eager to criticize whoever is not there.

    6) Massive hypocrite. She'll talk on and on about being vegan and boycotting McDonalds and all her green peace crap, but then she'll start eating meat again when her vegan diet causes her to gain weight (too many carbs). She gets fast food all the time, because she does not like to cook and is a working mom; out of convenience, she'll break her boycott against McDonald's because she's to tired to go out of her way to another drive through. The inconsistency with her beliefs and behavior is astounding to me. To an FP, this kind of inconsistency is inexcusable, especially when accompanied by a shamelessness. She justifies it so easily in her own mind (Ni perspective shift?). Also, she can go on and on about her beliefs, however much they contradict yours, but don't you dare mention your beliefs that contradict hers, or she gets all huffy & accuses you of guilt-tripping.

    7) Bossy in a way that insults other people's intelligence, and just butts in where it's not her place. She tried to plan the menu to my HS grad party - even though she was not attending it. She once sent a list of foods her son could and could not eat when staying with us (ridiculous stuff like "only organic beef", and he can't drink out of plastic cups :rolli: ). For many years, my mom trusted her to watch me as a child, without any detailed set of instructions, before my aunt was even a mother herself. My mom has raised two kids; it's not like she's going to poison her nephew.... Plus, as we took care of most of his expenses while he stayed with us, it was very rude to expect us to go out and buy special food for him. This is even more ridiculous considering my aunt hardly cooks. Her family eats out all the time (I stayed with them for a summer once). My mom, however, cooks everything from scratch and we have wide pallets. My cousin is picky about food and prefers processed packaged stuff, because that's what my aunt feeds him.

    8) Snobby, but pretends she is not. She'll wail on about how materialistic SoCal is (she's in NorCal), but then makes fun of how people in her hippy town dress. She's always been into name brand clothing. The label is more important than the style to her. It can be the most bland dress ever, but if it's a designer label, then she likes it. She acts picky about food quality in restaurants, but then cooks packaged stuff and feeds fast food to her family a lot. She's very status conscience & places a lot of emphasis on getting degrees and having impressive job titles (especially for her son), but yet, she never finished college herself and has some non-descript office job. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with the hypocrite thing...

    9) Not affectionate. Her personality is only warm in that she compliments people a lot and can be outgoing socially (not a shy introvert). She hates hugging and sentimental expression though. I would have typed her a T (I thought eNTJ maybe), but I realize now she is very Fe, just not typical soft Fe.
    This is a very good dissection of a mean INFJ. I hope I don`t come across like that to my family, but I can actually see a lot of those things in myself. Maybe not that bad, but sometimes I am two-faced and paint other people as the bad guys instead of owning up to my own flaws and misdeeds. Ever since I was little I have questioned my sense of integrity. I think with inferior Se, it`s hard for me to see myself objectively. When I do realize the truth and stop shifting perspectives to ignore it, I feel completely awful. I just want to crawl out of my skin and be someone else.

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    My guess is that an evil INFJ would be hypercritical, hypocritical, and not entirely unlike a very cold and status conscious ISFJ. Except possibly even more pretentious, like being "more politically correct than you"...kind of what OrangeAppled was talking about with her aunt and the vegan/organic stuff but then turning around and making excuses for why she eats fast food.

    I picture an evil INFJ as being an uptight, insanely judgemental, physically cold, overly liberal, hipster from hell.

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