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  1. #21
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I just realised my last post encouraged maintaining idealists beliefs and hopes, but you know I generally believe realism is just a socially acceptable form of pessimism. I don't care for reality checks or being realistic. It's not in allignment with who I am and it always feels like I'm at odds with myself. I don't think there's anything wrong with reaching for the stars even if it seems foolhardy or the odd blow strikes a bit harder than it should. Just get back up at the end of the day and keep striving for whatever others think is crazy. I don't think NFs are capable of doing otherwise. It rots their souls.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I just realised my last post encouraged maintaining idealists beliefs and hopes, but you know I generally believe realism is just a socially acceptable form of pessimism. I don't care for reality checks or being realistic. It's not in allignment with who I am and it always feels like I'm at odds with myself. I don't think there's anything wrong with reaching for the stars even if it seems foolhardy or the odd blow strikes a bit harder than it should. Just get back up at the end of the day and keep striving for whatever others think is crazy. I don't think NFs are capable of doing otherwise. It rots their souls.
    I agree and generally live my life this way. As you say, it would rot my soul otherwise. When others tell me just be realistic or look at the facts, usually I know what those facts are already and focusing only on the facts offers no hope for the resolution of a situation. That requires hope and imagination. I've been hit hard by some situations when I thought an outcome would be different. Or, I hoped it would be. I rarely have expectations because I don't know the future and I can't control anyone else's behavior. Expectations are almost guaranteed to set a person up for disappointment. But for hope in a given situation or in life: I absolutely need it to live. And, if things don't go the way I hoped, I usually find something I learned from the situation. Even if I'm very disappointed at an outcome, I never regret taking a chance. My mother is a realist and as much as I love her, her practice is to level the dreams of her children by only seeing what's practical. If that's all you see, your life becomes flat. She was supportive of me by letting me dream in my youth and giving me space to be who I was, though she and I were very different. I can't think of the poet or naturalist who said this, but it was something along the lines of "Live your dreams and be who you were born to be, or one day you'll look for those dreams and find only ashes."

  3. #23
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Your practical (I'm guessing SJ) mom sounds a lot cooler than mine. She has taken dumps on my dreams since I can remember. We don't talk much about my life plans anymore. It hurts too much.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Your practical (I'm guessing SJ) mom sounds a lot cooler than mine. She has taken dumps on my dreams since I can remember. We don't talk much about my life plans anymore. It hurts too much.
    I know what you mean. My mom has given me sound, practical advice over the years and since practicality is not my strength, I've appreciated and heeded it at times. I also don't talk about life plans or my ideas or dreams with my mom (I think she's an ISFJ). She doesn't understand and think it's a waste of energy. So, I just don't go there with her any longer. The way I look at it now (my mom is a young 84) is that I don't need her to understand fully. Still, it hurts. I just change the subject and talk about something she'd like. She's an only child who has had her share of heartache. She also didn't feel appreciated or entirely loved by her mom. I like to let her know she's loved. I can keep my dreams and desires to myself or share them with my good friends.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I don't have an NFJ brother, Diaperman.
    Are you not part of the brotherhood of man?

    Jesus was my brother, too!


  6. #26
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren View Post
    I know what you mean. My mom has given me sound, practical advice over the years and since practicality is not my strength, I've appreciated and heeded it at times. I also don't talk about life plans or my ideas or dreams with my mom (I think she's an ISFJ). She doesn't understand and think it's a waste of energy. So, I just don't go there with her any longer. The way I look at it now (my mom is a young 84) is that I don't need her to understand fully. Still, it hurts. I just change the subject and talk about something she'd like. She's an only child who has had her share of heartache. She also didn't feel appreciated or entirely loved by her mom. I like to let her know she's loved. I can keep my dreams and desires to myself or share them with my good friends.
    Yeah, I do my best to try to be on good terms and be loving despite the lack of support. I keep the quote below in mind to try to keep reasonable about any injustice I feel.

    "Another part of the problem is when expectations become entitlement. I’ve heard from a lot of readers who bemoan how their parents/family/teachers don’t support them on whatever goal they have. The assumption is that these people should support them. This entitlement about who should support you gives those people veto power over your life." - Scott H Young
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  7. #27
    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    On a different note, do you ever find that your reactions to things that don't meet your expectations out of place?

    This may sound strange, but I often find that my expectations not being met by others generally makes me react strangely toward myself, as though I knew that the expectations couldn't be met and I'm angry at myself for having such unrealistic ideas about things. There have been several instances in the last month or so when I've had a very confusing time dealing with MYSELF. Does anyone else have this internal struggle with your expectations and knowing reality, but not accepting it?

  8. #28
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Maybe it's not the healthiest way of dealing with unmet expectations of how "things should be", but I kind of just chalk things up that the world I live in isn't the perfect world I've envisioned. I have a bit of a cynical/pessimistic side that comes out sometimes.

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