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  1. #11
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I'm definitely *more* open and silly than when sober, but that's mainly because it's easier for me to find the words. Alcohol lubricates my Ne. However, I'm far less likely to share any soul-level insights in that state. Lubricated Ne leads to repressed Fi.
    Hmmm. That's interesting - the idea that lubricated Ne leads to repressed Fi. It seems to be a general consensus that one would be no more successful obtaining a true confession from an INFP if he or she was drunk rather than sober. This suprises me a bit since I generally assume that people are less inhibited and more open to influence in a drunken state. It is also true, I believe, as someone mentioned in their post, that while drunk we often say things that we don't mean. No one takes a drunk seriously when they're being silly and/or obnoxious (if really gone).

    I wasn't planning on using this as a strategy, I just wanted others to comment on what would be the most likely response by an INFP given this scenario. When is an INFP not defended? Under what conditions do they actually reveal their feelings? Those are the underlying questions. It's a bit disconcerting to learn that even in a drunken state an INFP is unlikely to reveal much of anything. It seems to demonstrate to me the depths to which they will guard their feelings.

    If you were to take a poll, I don't think this would be true of other types. Using myself (a nonINFP) as an example, I remember getting drunk many years ago and confessing my true feelings for a guy to a friend. I really regreted it later. I had no attention of EVER telling anyone and yet I spilled my guts out to a friend. I was later embarrassed by my remarks - so personal. I think I did it though because I had carried the feelings so long, I felt I needed to be able to share with someone the depths of my feelings else I would explode. Why wouldn't an INFP be the same?

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I'm also sillier and less inhibited, but the deep thoughts are being killed off by the alcohol :P. You're not going to get any confession concerning profound feelings out of me then.
    Yeah, Orange. You seem to hold the majority view.

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    If you let them drink a beer mixed with Fanta, they will after the first 1/4th dance on the table making a huge party with everyone, be hard to tame at all and always shout for more more and more. Then approximatly 10 minutes later, when they have drunk another 1/4th, so a whole half of Fanta/Beer, they will be totally drunk and complain about they have to vomit any second.
    Yeah, that kinda sounds like an ENTP response. Not too simple to implement in reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Then by all means prevent them from drinking the 3rd 1/4th, even if they may intentionally hurt you for it and rip your eyebrows out of your skull, otherwise you may end up being vomitted from head to toe and having a sleeping infp in your arms you carry home
    Having a sleeping INFP in my arms to carry home was the intention (sans le barf)
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  2. #12
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Well, if you noticed there were some posts that, paraphrased, come down to "I got drunk and spilled my guts a few times, but I don't generally open up when drunk." Make of that what you will.

    As far as opening up, it depends on the INFP. I can be pretty open with people I trust and who I know have good intentions towards me. However, I have a hard time finding the words sometimes, so it can still be tough for me to get into the really deep stuff.

    My defenses start coming down when I feel like the other person is listening to me without negatively judging me. Usually, if they can do that for a little bit, my floodgates eventually open. Sometimes to my chagrin.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    its wrong to alter someones brains with alcohol to make them say something that they wouldnt normally say
    I agree. Actually, this post is really a joke - I have a dry sense of humor that others don't always appreciate or get. Under what conditions do you suggest that an INFP would actually open up? Would mind altering drugs work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Well, if you noticed there were some posts that, paraphrased, come down to "I got drunk and spilled my guts a few times, but I don't generally open up when drunk." Make of that what you will.

    As far as opening up, it depends on the INFP. I can be pretty open with people I trust and who I know have good intentions towards me. However, I have a hard time finding the words sometimes, so it can still be tough for me to get into the really deep stuff.

    My defenses start coming down when I feel like the other person is listening to me without negatively judging me. Usually, if they can do that for a little bit, my floodgates eventually open. Sometimes to my chagrin.
    Thanks Udog. That's helpful. Your right that some did , in fact, admit to spilling their guts. I guess it just comes down to a matter of trust in terms of an INFP opening up.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  4. #14
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Having a sleeping INFP in my arms to carry home was the intention (sans le barf)
    If the motive is to knock them out & take advantage of them, then it might work, but I'd advise you against it still :horor:

    I tend to open up if the other person does also; there needs to be a shared vulnerability. So I'd suggest opening up yourself.

    Also, watch for signs of the INFP testing you; at least, I do this with people. I might let a little something slip and see their response, if they can handle it or not.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #15
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I'm definitely *more* open and silly than when sober, but that's mainly because it's easier for me to find the words. Alcohol lubricates my Ne. However, I'm far less likely to share any soul-level insights in that state. Lubricated Ne leads to repressed Fi.
    Same here. I am more honest and open (and silly) but don't tend to engage in confessional discussions.

    Besides, even when drunk, I'm still very conscious of the company and how I feel about them. If I don't feel an affinity for the person when I'm sober, I'm not going feel it when I'm drunk, and therefore, remain disinclined to share inner thoughts and feelings.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #16
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I have a well documented weakness for Marshmallow Peeps. Perhaps that'll work on your guy, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I tend to open up if the other person does also; there needs to be a shared vulnerability. So I'd suggest opening up yourself.
    Good point. Some INFJs need the other person to open up a whole bunch before they'll offer a trickle in return, and that doesn't work with many INFPs.

    Also, watch for signs of the INFP testing you; at least, I do this with people. I might let a little something slip and see their response, if they can handle it or not.
    I sometimes do this as well, but less so now. I don't know... I think I'm getting to lazy too bother with such tactics in my old age. These days, I guess I do mini word floods, where I just open up everything to a certain level. If they respond positively, I may open up further. If they just sort of awkwardly back out of the room, then now I know.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I have a well documented weakness for Marshmallow Peeps. Perhaps that'll work on your guy, too.
    Well, Easter is coming up in a few months... I guess I'll just have to wait until April. It's already been 2 years - what's another 4 months.

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Some INFJs need the other person to open up a whole bunch before they'll offer a trickle in return, and that doesn't work with many INFPs.
    Yeah. Well. I just opened up a whole bunch (non inebriated semiconfessional) to an INFP after he confronted me about my feelings - and he was pretty insistent I give him an answer (I didn't know INFPs could be like that). He caught me off guard and I couldn't respond. He was pretty impatient with me and said, "you're not answering the question." I just couldn't answer him on the spot because the feelings run so deep. Later I emailed him a lengthy email revealing to him in great detail how I feel when I'm with him. I just wish he would return the favor. I hope I didn't scare him away with the intensity of the feelings I expressed. It will be interesting to see how he responds.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    If the motive is to knock them out & take advantage of them, then it might work, but I'd advise you against it still :horor:
    You know guys aren't so great at performing when they're drunk. However, tying him to bedposts might be a secondary means of procuring a confession.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I tend to open up if the other person does also; there needs to be a shared vulnerability. So I'd suggest opening up yourself.
    I have opened myself up quite a bit. However, It seems like he's playing catch up with me much of the time. That's my concern. The increasing sense of vulnerability that has not been reciprocated. He has opened up in the last few months having become much more comfortable. He says it feels really good to be with me and he enjoys our time together because we have a lot of fun. But I'm not sure the feelings go any deeper. With INFP, they do, don't they? I don't know.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Also, watch for signs of the INFP testing you; at least, I do this with people. I might let a little something slip and see their response, if they can handle it or not.
    He tests me ALL of the time. It's only after the conversation that I figure out what he was actually saying. I'm constantly reading between the lines. It feels a bit intimidating to constantly feel like you're being scrutinized. However, I figure either he likes me or he doesn't. There's not much I can do but be myself.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  8. #18
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Yeah. Well. I just opened up a whole bunch (non inebriated semiconfessional) to an INFP after he confronted me about my feelings - and he was pretty insistent I give him an answer (I didn't know INFPs could be like that). He caught me off guard and I couldn't respond. He was pretty impatient with me and said, "you're not answering the question." I just couldn't answer him on the spot because the feelings run so deep. Later I emailed him a lengthy email revealing to him in great detail how I feel when I'm with him. I just wish he would return the favor. I hope I didn't scare him away with the intensity of the feelings I expressed. It will be interesting to see how he responds.
    Since he started it, and demanded an answer, you have the right to demand reciprocation. I wouldn't hesitate to email/call/tell him it's his turn. Since you needed a bit of time, do be fair and give him some as well, though. It may take him a bit longer because if he does have some deeper feelings, he's probably going to struggle to get the words right.

    Anyway, good luck. Hope he's just gotten really shy and will come around.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Udog - Thanks for your support. I'll be seeing him soon. And we have planned to talk about my email. So, we'll see how it goes. In the meanwhile, I'm biting my nails.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  10. #20
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Shape those nails into razor edge claws, and if he doesn't open back up (after pulling a stunt like he did), you may commence with the stabbing and slashing.

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