Alright gang, new guy here.
I could use some fellow NF Idealist insight and experience to work through something I've noticed lately about myself that I'm hating.
When I'm by myself, feeling perfectly fine with the world, or in the zone, I see myself functioning as the awesome ENFPs we all recognize ourselves to be: occasionally loud, gregarious, always interested in big pictures & deep questions, prone to rambling and long talks, making new friends, talking with strangers, etc.
Well here's the stickler: I'm prone to some epic battles of self-doubt, and in particular it's been flaring up consistently in very frustrating situations.
I've ended up with a group of four bro's that I hang out with all the time, and more specifically, they are my main wingmen when we go hit the town, in addition to the counterparts to a big group of girls I've met through them and have subsequently become friends with.
Sure, as I've gotten to know them better, I'm understanding more of their quirks and differences, but they all are pretty good looking dudes who are all in ridiculous shape. I'm neither (not meaning to be self-deprecating; just stating facts - I've found out that my confidence and awesome attitude can help overcome my own largely self-imposed limitations when I'm on the ball).
And so, three out of the four tend to be very demonstrative, goofy, expressive, flirts. Two I've pretty well pegged as SPs. The third, I'm still trying to sort out (new guy). But regardless, when that starts to happen (either at the bars or just hanging out with these big groups of girls that we've fallen in with), I TOTALLY SHUT DOWN. My inferiority complex kicks in and it all goes to pot.
Call it my Inferior Si kicking in and reminding me of past experiences and feelings of sh!tty self-esteem, or my Shadow INFJ kicking in and sending me into super introspective, brooding mode, what it all comes down to is that I get in these funks and instead of being this totally rad human being who is fun, outgoing, and engaging, I turn into this quite, reactive, everything's going on inside my head dude.
I recognize that I'm not being myself, and now I'm making new friends that seriously have never seen the real me.
I hate that. I really despise that, but have no real idea how to change it.
And that's where I need some help; I'm pretty much clueless on how to change.