[ENFJ] INFJ vs. ENFJ style bonding with people

[CuriousFeeling]

Not sure if there's a difference between the way that ENFJs and INFJs bond with other people, but I find whenever I am connecting with others, I tend to feel as if I am drawing them inwards to me, trying to get to know them and what makes them tick. I don't feel an outward merging with the other person, rather it feels like I am bringing the person into my field of view and gauging them on their interests, what their facial expressions tell me, tone of voice, and analyzing how each thing indicates how they feel. Whenever I approach a person, I feel like I want to get to know them, but it's not like I reach out to them, rather I leave the option open for them to come to me.

Do ENFJs experience an opposite feeling when bonding with someone, like they are reaching out to the other person to accommodate their needs, open up themselves to embrace the other person's aura, where they feel like they are zoning into the other person, but it's more of an outward projection than feeling like they are drawing another person towards them? Or do you guys draw people towards you?

Been curious to see the difference between INFJ and ENFJ style social interaction.

 

[Lily flower]

I think the difference might be in energy level and in approaching. I am an INFJ, and in a room full of people I will be friendly, talk to someone one-on-one, be understanding and sympathetic. My husband, who is an ENFJ will traverse the entire room, shake everyone's hands, and then text several people afterwards to comment on some of the conversation they had. I would equate the difference to a gentle wind vs. a gale. I suppose different people prefer different styles of interaction.

 

[TopherRed]

I'd say it's more of a "meeting their needs" scenario, rather than a "come into my web" scenario.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

I'd say it's more of a "meeting their needs" scenario, rather than a "come into my web" scenario.

Yeah, this is what I find with ENFJ friends of mine. They tend to be more of a "meet someone's needs" type of scenario. "What can I do for this person? How can I accommodate their needs and make them happy?" Whereas, whenever I am interacting with them, I like to take them into my world, draw them in. When I interact with people, I feel like I am in my own bubble, but also wanting to connect with the other person at a deep level... come to my world of imagination, pretty much.

 

[JoSunshine]

I would say that for me it is trying to get into their heads and understanding what makes them tick (asking lots of questions and listening intently to how they respond both verbally, tonally, and physically) then like Fuzz said, I usually go straight to figuring out what I have to offer them...or I run like hell depending on what my "read" is on that person. I think it is way harder for people to get "into" my head and I certainly don't draw people in. I will allow people in who seem to have a sincere care and interest. I also typically don't talk about myself very much unless prompted or with an already close friend. I tend to be much more interested in knowing the other person than them knowing me in the beginning.

 

[Stansmith]

Does this fictional character (the bearded man) seem more IFJ or EFJ? Watch from 1:30 to 2:30, and then pick up again at 3:30:

You'll have to focus on his body language/gestures/energy-level since it's in French...