User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 24

  1. #1
    Junior Member Calibra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    3
    Posts
    3

    Talking ENF's....what attracts you to INF's? Who initiated?

    Hey everyone!

    My first time posting on here. I've got to say, this Jungian Psychology has hit me like a ton of bricks, and I find myself blissfully immersed in gathering information on what makes the mind work, and how to use those processes to help mankind reach a new state of... awesomeness. (Is it a big shock that I'm male INFJ??)

    One of the more interesting aspects of typology is how it relates to romantic endeavors of the kissy-kissy variety lol. I feel this strange..."inward tension" that seems to draw me into myself as opposed to being extremely outward...especially when it comes to expressing feelings...which is not so comfy since i tend to feel a LOT of stuff internally, and it seems like I have to contain everything. I scored very expressed introvert (80) and am wondering if that is why..

    What I found is that I reaaaaly like extraverted women who initiate and express initial interest and "bring me out" to a degree without being extremely draining. After, I am fully sure a girl likes me, it's easier to become comfortable and "let go" but it's more of an external confirmation of my intuition i suppose. I've found that females can't deal with my quiet demeanor and perhaps require a more "energetically aggressive" type..

    My question is for you lovely ENF types that are fond of INF types....what is it that makes you attracted to us? Additionally, for those of you E's that have had intimate connections with the INF's, who engaged first in displaying interest? I'm interested in getting multiple perspectives.

    Take Care and thanks!

    Take a look at this example:

    Opposites Attract-INFJ-ENFJ.mov - YouTube

    Her bubbly and caring attitude totally makes me

  2. #2
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    My ENFP sister in very attracted to INFJs because she says it feels like a soul mate connection. Like magic.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #3
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,877

    Default

    Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion. I'm not speaking for anyone else. Unless they want me to..

    I seem to be more drawn to INFPs than INFJ's, but I feel a great balance of similarities and differences with them. Without ever noticing until recently, the one man I was in love with, my best friend growing up, etc. are all INFPs. I think there's a piece of them that makes me feel safe being myself.. Frequently, I adapt to my environment, and sometimes that makes me feel like I'm never 100% myself. I think that INFPs have an extremely open-armed, accepting way of naturally saying "It's okay. Act hyper one minute and chill the next. I won't treat you any differently." It's extremely comforting to be able to be different facets of myself without someone getting alarmed or weirded out by it. I like how calm and indifferent they can be to the outside world.. it's very soothing. They're like 'base' in a game of tag. I can run all over the place, but once I get back to base, it's all calm again.

    INFPs are also very puzzle-like to me. So it seems like, I am always discovering new little quirks, thoughts, or details about them. That's about all I can think of to say..
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  4. #4
    Junior Member Calibra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    3
    Posts
    3

    Default

    "They're like 'base' in a game of tag. I can run all over the place, but once I get back to base, it's all calm again."

    That's a great description. I'm eager to know the differences between an INFJ and INFP.

    How did you meet your INFP's?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    394

    Default

    From what I can gather from ENFs, I (an INFP) seem to represent an empathetic and perceptive problem-solver. They seem to appreciate the fact that I don't tend to judge them or the situations they find themselves, but generally give them advice that is specific to them. With a lot of E types, the advice is usually along the lines of "stop worrying what everyone else thinks!" I like ENFs because we share the NF core, so we both tend to have an ideal around which our feelings are based. I also enjoy Es ability to interact with people; I am not a shy person, but I am aware that social interaction is more natural for ENFs than it is for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I think that INFPs have an extremely open-armed, accepting way of naturally saying "It's okay. Act hyper one minute and chill the next. I won't treat you any differently." It's extremely comforting to be able to be different facets of myself without someone getting alarmed or weirded out by it. I like how calm and indifferent they can be to the outside world.. it's very soothing. They're like 'base' in a game of tag. I can run all over the place, but once I get back to base, it's all calm again.
    I really enjoy watching people that do this

    I think INFPs behave like this because we really enjoy watching E-types go mental and ramp up the Extroversion. Plus, I'm more interested in what is at the core of a person, so how they behave in moments like that doesn't bother me! Still waters run deep though, and it's always heartwarming to watch your friends go a little bit crazy!

    INFJs (and please correct me if I'm wrong) differ from INFPs in that they are more perceptively caring, in a "mother hen" sort of way. They seem to be very adept at making everything feel cosy and making you feel comfortable and protected. INFPs are less focused and more "spaced out", so that their love and affection comes from their laid-backness and acceptance. INFJs and INFPs are both very loyal and base a lot on their own opinions and values; however, INFPs have a massive "artistic temperament", which doesn't seem to affect INFJs on quite the same scale.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    180

    Default

    My ENFP showed interest, first. She would persist on letting me know about it even after countless times it went by unnoticed/not reciprocated. We're, currently, doing this long-distance. Even so, she never cease to amaze me with her updates on facebook. She does that subtly so noone notices to who the posts are intended for.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    xNFP
    Posts
    117

    Default

    I've been in relationships with two INFJs.

    The first one I initiated contact first. He thought I was annoying, but I eventually grew on him. I really liked him because he was pretty sour, but in a hilarious way and he'd compliment me when I least expect it (instead of showering me with praise, which I find to be smothering). I thought that he didn't like me at all though, so I started dating someone else, but then he got extremely jealous and told me 10 days later. When I actually dated him, he was a completely different person it seemed. He was extremely open now and told me all his dark thoughts and complicated theories. It made me feel like I was special, being the only one allowed into his heart. But, after a while I felt drained, always being around his darkish energy.

    The other INFJ I dated contacted me first by texting, but that's all he did. I was the one who had to actually walk up to him and talk to him in person. It was rather annoying, because he'd pretend he wasn't interested in person, but then text me non-stop later on and shower me with praise. I guess he was just embarrassed? He opened up to me much sooner than the first INFJ, though, because he felt that we had a connection (even though we hadn't really been friends that long). He ended up telling me that he liked me too much to stay friends and that we had to either date or cut off all communication. So, I decided to date him, and I felt something very similar to the way I felt with the first INFJ, like I was let into his dark and mysterious world. It ended up being too much for me once again, though. I started to notice that most of what he said was exaggerated to the extreme, he had an obsession of making his life feel tragic. He lied to me about the most ridiculous things, too. I couldn't stand it, so I broke it off.

    I think that I feel attracted to INFJs because of their cold, emotionless front, but get disappointed when I find out that it wasn't who they were at all.

    I always wanted to date an INFP, but I don't know any...
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovereeses View Post
    I always wanted to date an INFP, but I don't know any...
    Re-read everything you said about INFJs and replace cold and emotionless with moody and temperamental. It's pretty similar otherwise.

    I think a lot of the girls that sought me out were intrigued by the fact that I was quite detached. So many girls said things like "You never talk" or "You never open up to me". This wasn't intentional, but more that I never felt that it was necessary to talk. I mean, who wants to hear about my thoughts on flighty subjects? Not many people, that's for sure. I think, when INFPs are on top of themselves and are not all melancholy, they're quite appealing because they're really capable of sweeping a girl up in their own world and taking them on an emotionally intense ride, which I think girls quite like (...don't they?).

    Plus, if you can time it properly, you can knock a girl off her feet by having a deep knowledge of art, literature, etc. I remember once impressing a girl because I knew what it meant when she said she was studying "Equine Physiology".

    But the INFP downside can be severe, so...
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Calibra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    3
    Posts
    3

    Default

    @ilovereeses

    Hmm I see some truth in that personality. the "Shell" being opened and then releasing everything into the person. I assume the is a strong tension in the experience from an outside perspective. Would you be more interested if the emotional depth wasn't "masked" by the Introversion?

  10. #10
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    xNFP
    Posts
    117

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Calibra View Post
    Would you be more interested if the emotional depth wasn't "masked" by the Introversion?
    Not necessarily, I just think that the 2 INFJs I dated desired a tragic life, because they thought it was cooler/more beautiful, or whatever. I appreciate emotional depth, but only when it's real, not attention seeking.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTJ] What attracts you to ISTJ men and women?
    By Jstrazz in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 04-11-2013, 01:55 PM
  2. [MBTItm] What attracts NFs to Typology?
    By StephMC in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 01-12-2013, 12:21 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO