Still, I have to object to the simplistic view that INFPs are innocent babes in the wood, and that other personality types are wolves attacking us and tearing into us every time we let out a peep. Frankly, that kind of view serves us poorly. It's closer to the truth to say that we INFPs have real power of our own (a good thing, in most contexts), but that sometimes we misuse it--accidentally or deliberately.
Here's my point of view:
When INFPs claim that they've been attacked and victimized at the end of a thread, very often they forget that they themselves were pushing the panic button--early, hard, and often--at the beginning of the thread.
Here's the typical pattern: With all their emotionality and lack of boundaries, INFPs raise a fuss about some minor point early on. It creates a lot of din and cacophony for the more "orderly" types. And then, just about the time the INFPs are getting calmed down, the more "orderly" types get their fill of the noise and the din and reach over and slap the INFPs upside the head. The INFPs look about quizzically with tears in their eyes and start complaining of unprovoked attacks.
I think this happens for two reasons. 1) We INFPs are quick to emote but also quick to calm down again once we've gotten our emoting out of our system; and 2) We INFPs don't hold much stock in our own emoting and can't imagine that all the fuss we raised early in the thread could result in (or even be connected to) the fuss we get back from the non-INFPs in the latter part of the thread.
But in fact our emoting and fussing and complaining is like fingernails on a chalkboard to many other types. And as much as NTs (for example) say that they aren't affected by emotions, they still get plenty irritated if they have to listen to big doses of it.
To put it simply: our emotionality and lack of boundaries have the ability to superheat a thread. And after we've trashed and tangled up a thread with our complaining and emoting, frankly it sounds fake when we sit around and play the victim afterwards.
This here thread seems to be about writing an epitaph for the "Quick Reference Guide" threads, so let's go back to those. I don't want to pick out individual posts or posters as an example, so I'll just try to keep everything general. But I followed and posted in the "Quick Reference Guide" threads almost from their first appearance. (My first post was in the Fi thread less than 24 hours after its inception.) So here's just one example of what I saw:
Fi-Dom posters were already over posting in the Fe thread complaining about the Fi guide within the first two posts following the OP over there. And in fact the Fe thread almost never even had a chance to discuss the Fe guide; Fi-Doms were complaining in both the Fe and Fi threads about the Fi guide. Any boundaries between the two threads quickly broke down; Fe-users and Fi-users were all over each other's threads; by 48 hours after the OP, Fi-Dom posters were clashing in the Fe thread with madmins about the issue of the Fi guide.
Frankly, that was wrong on at least 3 different levels. Fe-Doms have stricter boundaries than us, react to emotionality differently than us, and tend to respect authority more than us. To be tying up their thread and clashing with the madmins over there was going to be a problem.
I myself had already posted some short posts in the Fi thread within the first 24 hours; by the third day one of the INFPs posted a query back on the Fi thread and I took the opportunity to post a couple of long, provocative posts in response. Basically I was just hoping to anchor the dispute back in the Fi thread and maybe try to give the Fe-Doms a little peace. But the Fi thread flamed out and was graveyarded soon after; for all I know, some provocative comments I made about Fe-Doms in my own post might have contributed to the thread's demise.
But in any case I certainly wasn't surprised when the Fi thread degenerated into mutual recriminations and got trashed. Right from the start it had been superheated with emotionality and tangled together in boundaryless fashion with the Fe thread; the madmins had issued warnings and were expressing their disgust; it was just a matter of time till that thread came to a bad end.
I might have some quibbles with some individual non-INFP posts or posters and with the specific way the thread was graveyarded, but ultimately I wasn't one bit surprised at what finally happened to the thread; that thread was begging for a mercy killing. And it may be that the INFP posters were starting to calm down and keep to their own turf by the end, but that didn't mean they were innocent victims throughout the entire process: That tangled, mutated Frankenstein monster of twisted-up message threads was primarily an INFP creation through at least the 50 percent or even the 75 percent mark. As I read it, this means that INFPs have to take some responsibility for what happened in the remainder of the threads.
We INFPs are not necessarily the blameless victims that we like to portray. At least in my own case, I have always been aware of my own ability to superheat the environment around me, even while I tried to duck responsibility for the backlash that resulted from the superheating. Nor do I think it's sufficient to create a defense that "I was expressing my Fi, and you have to show respect for whatever I say."
And that's just one facet or aspect out of a number of various things that went wrong with that thread that can be laid at the doorstep (IMO) of the INFP contingent.
I want to emphasize that blaming INFPs for the thread isn't a big deal for me personally one way or the other. I didn't raise any recriminations in the thread at the time, and I'm comfortable with what happened overall. Emotionality and lack of boundaries is what we do, and I understand where it comes from. I only bring up the issue now to respond to accusations that non-INFP posters have been "mocking, hurtful, and cruel" or that we INFPs are somehow blameless victims of this whole process. I don't see it that way. Emotionality and lack of boundaries can have some negative consequences for those around us, and I think we INFPs have to recognize it and face up to it.
To sum up: The good news is that we're not powerless victims. We have real power to influence the people around us; quite a bit of power in fact. The bad new is that we have to get a handle on that power, or we'll waste it on petty complaints and emotionality, superheat the environment around us, and spend our lives entangled in controversy and conflict.