Personally, I always feel safe to discuss things in a fi manner. If someone questions me, I'm willing to answer. The often complimentary condescending tone doesn't bother me; i'm not out to convince anybody of anything I may hold to be true; because people are generally set in their own ways anyway. I let people think what they want, and question what they want. If it completely misses the mark or comes from a position of not having the appropriate information to hold a judgment in the first place, I don't take any of their comments on board, and instead of 'educating' them, I let them go off and get some more information themselves. I let them dig; eventually they get tired and move on.
I assume most people naturally feel dismay regarding any attitude that is different to their own. The Fi/fe thing has been blown out of proportion in my view. Everybody has values; we all seem quick to label that Fi. We are also all quick to make hasty generalisations about type based on persons who we think are that type. It's not just fi-doms who don't like gross generalisations and misunderstanding.
Anyway, I think Se gets the worst rep on typology forums :\