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View Poll Results: Fi ONLY: Do you feel safe to freely share your thoughts about Fi on TypoC?

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  • Yes

    23 63.89%
  • No

    13 36.11%
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  1. #281
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Yes. To put it bluntly, the disproportionate share of the burden falls on the Fi-user. It's not that Fi is to be ignored, as you said to FineLine, but that better translation is needed. Otherwise this subject becomes a broken record, repeating ad nauseam.

    I'm going to swipe a quote from another thread:



    Which is the easiest function to understand? Which is the hardest? Te annoys me at times, but there is little mistaking the message. Fi, on the other hand, is the opposite. Very hard to understand. Not only is it subjective, but it's concern is the ethical rather than the logical. It can make brillant sense to the Fi-user, and even to someone in a one-on-one discussion, but in a larger sense it quickly become noise and the message is lost.
    does it? omg it sounds like noise to non fi users? that's a funny thing to be made aware of.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #282
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    does it? omg it sounds like noise to non fi users? that's a funny thing to be made aware of.
    It's not literal:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signal-to-noise_ratio

  3. #283
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    haha!! well i didn't think it was! still...it sounds like charlie browns parents doesn't it?

    and reaaally? a wikipedi link? haha...oh god...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #284
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I find both to be rather transparent to be frank. I can usually pick up when Fi doms are pissed/ annoyed/ out of the ordinary... you just have to be attuned to what to look for (the subtlety in the tone, becoming rigid in speech, deflecting, becoming extra quiet, the vibe seems forced....). To be honest, I have never found Fi to be all that mysterious much like the other functions. It's highly personalized so you have to get to know the person on very personal level to know some of their core values. Sorry, I am not trying to be rude. It's just that I had to learn many of the subtle hints so that I would not offend IXFPs that were close to me and learn how to build their egos back up when someone hurt them. I took on the role of "emotional care-taker" a lot.
    Oh if you know what to look for it you can spot it - most people don't bother to pay enough attention. But honestly, I behave like that in a bunch of situations with completely different emotions involved. Boredom/embarrassment/distraction/tiredness/uneasiness can all look like irritation.

    I didn't mean to sound like I'm special and mysterious. I just find others make incorrect assumptions about me all the time and struggle to properly read me. People are always asking me if I'm upset when I'm not in the least, for example.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  5. #285
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Oh if you know what to look for it you can spot it - most people don't bother to pay enough attention. But honestly, I behave like that in a bunch of situations with completely different emotions involved. Boredom/embarrassment/distraction/tiredness/uneasiness can all look like irritation.

    I didn't mean to sound like I'm special and mysterious. I just find others make incorrect assumptions about me all the time and struggle to properly read me. People are always asking me if I'm upset when I'm not in the least, for example.
    Oh, exactly. I was thinking about this today. I recently appeared to be irritated to a friend (who later apologized because he felt I was irritated at him) when I really wasn't--in this case it was uneasiness and distraction about something else.

  6. #286
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    Sorry for coming off like an ass... that's why I deleted the post. The thing I have learned to do is ask something very low key if I think someone is upset like, "Are you tired.... you seem a little out of it?" or "how are you doing?" Then, they will usually tell me the real problem.

  7. #287
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Sorry for coming off like an ass... that's why I deleted the post. The thing I have learned to do is ask something very low key if I think someone is upset like, "Are you tired.... you seem a little out of it?" or "how are you doing?" Then, they will usually tell me the real problem.
    You didn't. I knew what you meant.

    Sometimes just asking those sorts of questions people will open up about a problem they're having even if its not what is directly bothering them right then. Often people are simply waiting for someone to care enough to ask about them - it breaks down the barrier.

    I often smile and joke even when I'm feeling depressed. Most of the time, its only if you know what sorts of things bother me that you can guess that I may be upset. Its like you said, very dependent on the knowing the individual well.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #288
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    quoting PB: "Your whole post is appreciated Scott. I hear what you are saying above, and it's very wise, maybe the wisest thing in the whole thread but I just wonder ... I know you feel stressed and aggravated by not being understood, don't you want to try to help bridge the gap too? Don't you think that greater appreciation and understanding could lead to more contentment for you?"

    PB, is the point of this thread to defend Fi in the eyes of non Fi-ers, or to discuss Fi amongst other Fi-users? If it is the first, one can see in all that ton of stuff I quoted several values and contributions of Fi. Fi tends to bring various things to the table, including a focus on other people, what they are feeling, and WHY they are feeling that. Anybody can stand off at a distance and blat platitudes about wishing well, but when you want or need someone to jump in the trench with you, I think Fi tends to excel there. Need to understand WHY you are feeling what your feeling? Well we reign supreme there. Feel psychologically or emotionally damaged and need someone to show you the way back into the light to heal yourself, well we do that well too [NFJ's can as well, in a different more Ni-ish kind of way]. Need someone to feel motivated enough to start, or sustain, a charity or volunteer organization? Especially one no one has done before, well were good at that too. Wanna see people act out of a motivation of respect and compassion, we tend to naturally do that as well.

    If our purpose is the latter, to talk about Fi with fellow Fi-ers, then let us do so. Perhaps we were doing so earlier... What are examples of other people's Fi values? How did those values develop? If you were to hazard a guess at how they might continue to develop in the future, what would you guess? What Fi values of others have really just stopped you in your tracks and humbled you in your core?

    Both Princess Diana [deceased] of the UK, and former US president JFK's wife Jackie Kennedy Onassis were INFP's, in the limelight, and had a profound influence on many people. Try google searching "famous INFP's" the list is pretty interesting [though not guaranteed to be correct] Here is one such list.


    IME, people often either liek me or not. If you asked them attributes that they liked about me, Fi values would probably emerge pretty quickly. However, I doubt that any/few of these people would know enough to say "Fi!" on the spot. Relationships work better when both people have open hearts. I can't make other people open their hearts. IME Te often places little or no value on the things so near and dear to Fi. I doubt I will be able to convince many TJ's, especially NTJ's, to change their mind on that one. Goodness, I barely feel any success at all at getting the NFJ's on this forum to understand, respect, appreciate, or otherwise Fi. Maybe I have some and they just haven't especially told me about it??? Anyways, its not my aim to "turn people" into respecting Fi. The best I can probably do is to get people who meet me in person to respect me in terms of the Fi values I operate out of.

  9. #289
    Glycerine
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    Scott. I do respect Fi... but how long do we have to beat the dead horse about Fi? That is the golden question. To be honest, I found you and your posts to be quite intriguing (in a non-creepy way). Every function has problems in society. In some ways, Ne outshines Ni and and in very individualist societies, I think that Fi is secretly valued and Fe is mocked. I have had SO MANY people tell me don't worry about what others think and that's just my nature. It all depends on perspective and context.

  10. #290
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm thinking about something skylights said earlier (was it this thread or the other one?). Do you feel that when Fi senses others distancing themselves, it tends to either try to spark some reaction to get to the bottom of things or pursue connection more vigorously?

    Something she said made me wonder if that was more universal Fi reaction than only in cases of conflict. If so, does it feel like rejection of you yourself when people take a break and put some space between you? All of this is just being considered as I go, so I have no idea if this is true or not.

    Also, something I've been wondering - I realize that Fi users (at least NFPs) tend not to divulge anything deep and dark until a certain point, at which it feels like the floodgates have opened unequivically. Fe users (NFJs anyhow) tend to let it happen as it happens, but do have a series of stages that the other person works through with them. Very few people are in my inner circle, but others are at various stages along the way. Some of them will never advance further, while others most likely will at some point. I'm gathering that with Fi, you're either in or you're out. What criteria allows you to let people in? Do you have varying stages of what you share once people are in? In some ways I find you guys a little closed off initially. In other ways, I find almost a childlike vulnerability and trust that I would myself be reluctant to extend to many people. Can you explain this better from a Fi standpoint?

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