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[Fi] INFP/ENFP: Do you feel "safe" to openly & freely share your thoughts about Fi here?

Fi ONLY: Do you feel safe to freely share your thoughts about Fi on TypoC?

  • Yes

    Votes: 20 60.6%
  • No

    Votes: 13 39.4%

  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .

Elfboy

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since you bring this up, I suppose I am persecuted for honestly expressing Fi, but moreso in real life than on the forums. people in middle school and high school were always telling me I was too much like Yugioh or that I talked like I was the lead role in an opera or something. other people would say stuff like "dude, it's not a big deal" and I'd be like "people are being oppressed and having their rights and freedoms stripped from them like cattle! how is that not a big deal?!!!" people have always persecuted me for my unconventional views and strong sense of values (meanwhile I am disgusted at how little other people seem to care about others being persecuted or bullied. I don't get how they can just except things as they are, especially when they themselves are the ones being oppressed)
 

Lady_X

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i don't get it. what's the problem? honestly i skim over most argumentative posts...so i just haven't seen it. do you think fe users are offended by the way fi users phrase things and vice versa? like just by talking about the way you operate you are some how insulting the alternative? hmm...well i think that sucks....but to answer your question i feel just fine discussing my point of view i rarely get caught up in major disagreements here...i may be a little too live n let live for that which isn't to say i'm just disinterested...i'm not...i enjoy hearing how others think and what motivates them but i usually bow out of a thread once it turns into a debate...that kinda ruins the whole exploratory type discussion for me.
 

Elfboy

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but alas, to be an INFP is to be persecuted. I was bullied all through school up until high school when I became strong and finally found the courage to stand up for myself. It wasn't until I was able to spit in death's face and say "DO YOUR WORST!!!!" that I trully became strong enough to live my life with integrity and courage. once I stopped being afraid, the bullies stopped coming and I was able to become strong and confident. now, I want to become stronger, strong enough to help all the people around me who are being persecuted and abused! I'm tired of seeing it everywhere and not being able to do anything about it!
 

Elfboy

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since this is a topic about introverted feeling, I feel that this clip is the epitome of introverted feeling:
 

skylights

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wait PB why is arclight getting asked not to participate in the discussion?

i think we can have a safe space with Fe-first opinions of Fi as long as no one takes that as an invitation to attack Fi-first personal opinions and beliefs. in other words - i think people with Fe first should be absolutely welcome to discuss, just please remember that you might not experience Fi exactly like we do, just like we don't experience Fe exactly like you do.

maybe it's just me, but i feel like the people with functions dominant will -usually- have the best idea of what it's like to use that function. i mean, honestly, if someone asked me to give an excellent in-depth description of what using Ti is like i think i would crack up laughing... yes i'll know better than the INTP layperson, but if educated, that INTP's gonna know better than me. i mean, really, do you want a fireman teaching you dentistry when there's a dentist available? no...
 

PeaceBaby

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^ to be clear, at no time did I say Arclight was not welcome here; skylights, I did lay the groundwork in the first post and as always, Arclight is welcome to post, to add to the discussion at hand. :hug:

I simply don't want the thread derailed by discussing whether or not the thread is being "hypocritical" to request that Fi users be given space to share their thoughts. That's all.

In my opinion, such tangential explorations will ensure that no Fi users feel "safe" to post in this thread either.
 

skylights

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^ ahh. just so you know, it kind of came off to me as "go away and let Fi users talk".

i agree with you :yes:
 

Noon

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I still say I identify most strongly with Si-Fi & Ti (I was always and still am swinging from ISFJ to ISFP and vice versa; I consider myself somewhere along the middle). I don't know about anyone else, but I know that I generally feel as if my perspective on Fi would not be welcomed by either Fe or Fi users, especially if NFs rather than SFs. I try to stick to discussing Fe as a result. I also feel like my experience of Fi would be considered too mystical, dramatic, or self-important by most. I think Fe is more well-received because it's simply easier to describe without delving into that.
 

OrangeAppled

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I don't feel "unsafe" to discuss Fi, but I do get a sense that any discussion of Fi from actual Fi-doms (and Fi-aux) people will be belittled, mocked, and eventually suppressed, yes. The massive Fe/Fi gone awry thread was actually heartening in some ways; it was allowed to develop into honest discussion. I already see this thread being subjected to a discrediting; it will be written off as whiny & without provocation because that is easier to do than address any actual points. It's almost like people are threatened by a Fi-dom having an opinion. We're only cool as long as we passively agree & keep quiet. God forbid we have a spine. The double standard regarding this aspect with NTs annoys me (Why can't I be flippant on occasion also?). If anyone were to call them out on making emotionally laden posts, they'd get all pissy about it & deny it. I'm cool to admit I can be sensitive & emotional, but doing so just provides ammunition for others to invalidate your words. Not to mention, I don't think an emotional & sensitive response is invalid anyway; why are people so threatened by non-stoic communication? It seems to me it's because they don't handle their own passionate side well, and they assume others cannot either; their only solution is to put a damper on it. Meanwhile, the F types were getting along just fine.

I noticed that when an INTJ made a Fi thread some time ago, the discussion was validated by others, and the viewpoint from the INTJ was taken seriously (can't remember the poster name....sorry). That's frustrating. It's not that the thread was not interesting or not accurate, but it illustrates how Fi discussed by Fi-ers in a Fi way is invalidated by comparison. I wonder if we had "NT" under our avatars if our comments would be taken differently (I think so)*.

I don't even care if other non-Fi types don't want to participate, but why they have to pop their head in to do nothing more than make snarky comments in an attempt to derail the thread is beyond me. That is my observation. I don't plan on NOT talking about Fi or function theory any less than I have been or in any different way (I don't care about popularity or being a voice of dissent), but I will continue to expect my view to be disregarded by anyone who is NOT a Fi-dom or aux. It is funny how much the Fi-dom and aux people actually AGREE in these discussions though; it seems we grasp each other just fine in our communication styles (exploring feelings, tossing out ideas, comparing notes, making conjectures). I find much more similarity emerges than differences, and exploring the disagreements can be interesting when viewed through the lens of the enneagram. No one is trying to "win" or "prove" anything, which I guess is foreign to T types. It's called sharing & exploration.


*It's also interesting how that loooong Ni thread was explored in a similar vein, and no one got all pissy about it.
 

Elfboy

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I still say I identify most strongly with Si-Fi. I also feel like my experience of Fi would be considered too mystical, dramatic, or self-important by most. I think Fe is more well-received because it's simply easier to describe without delving into that.
mystical and dramatic is what Fi is all about :newwink: if you have mystical and dramatic insights to share with us, the more the better =)
 

Hopelandic

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I don't feel "unsafe" to discuss Fi, but I do get a sense that any discussion of Fi from actual Fi-doms (and Fi-aux) people will be belittled, mocked, and eventually suppressed, yes. The massive Fe/Fi gone awry thread was actually heartening in some ways; it was allowed to develop into honest discussion. I already see this thread being subjected to a discrediting; it will be written off as whiny & without provocation because that is easier to do than address any actual points. It's almost like people are threatened by a Fi-dom having an opinion. We're only cool as long as we passively agree & keep quiet. God forbid we have a spine. The double standard regarding this aspect with NTs annoys me (Why can't I be flippant on occasion also?). If anyone were to call them out on making emotionally laden posts, they'd get all pissy about it & deny it. I'm cool to admit I can be sensitive & emotional, but doing so just provides ammunition for others to invalidate your words. Not to mention, I don't think an emotional & sensitive response is invalid anyway; why are people so threatened by non-stoic communication? It seems to me it's because they don't handle their own passionate side well, and they assume others cannot either; their only solution is to put a damper on it. Meanwhile, the F types were getting along just fine.

I noticed that when an INTJ made a Fi thread some time ago, the discussion was validated by others, and the viewpoint from the INTJ was taken seriously (can't remember the poster name....sorry). That's frustrating. It's not that the thread was not interesting or not accurate, but it illustrates how Fi discussed by Fi-ers in a Fi way is invalidated by comparison. I wonder if we had "NT" under our avatars if our comments would be taken differently (I think so)*.

I don't even care if other non-Fi types don't want to participate, but why they have to pop their head in to do nothing more than make snarky comments in an attempt to derail the thread is beyond me. That is my observation. I don't plan on NOT talking about Fi or function theory any less than I have been or in any different way (I don't care about popularity or being a voice of dissent), but I will continue to expect my view to be disregarded by anyone who is NOT a Fi-dom or aux. It is funny how much the Fi-dom and aux people actually AGREE in these discussions though; it seems we grasp each other just fine in our communication styles (exploring feelings, tossing out ideas, comparing notes, making conjectures). I find much more similarity emerges than differences, and exploring the disagreements can be interesting when viewed through the lens of the enneagram. No one is trying to "win" or "prove" anything, which I guess is foreign to T types. It's called sharing & exploration.


*It's also interesting how that loooong Ni thread was explored in a similar vein, and no one got all pissy about it.

*thumbs up*

----
Personally, I always feel safe to discuss things in a fi manner. If someone questions me, I'm willing to answer. The often complimentary condescending tone doesn't bother me; i'm not out to convince anybody of anything I may hold to be true; because people are generally set in their own ways anyway. I let people think what they want, and question what they want. If it completely misses the mark or comes from a position of not having the appropriate information to hold a judgment in the first place, I don't take any of their comments on board, and instead of 'educating' them, I let them go off and get some more information themselves. I let them dig; eventually they get tired and move on.

I assume most people naturally feel dismay regarding any attitude that is different to their own. The Fi/fe thing has been blown out of proportion in my view. Everybody has values; we all seem quick to label that Fi. We are also all quick to make hasty generalisations about type based on persons who we think are that type. It's not just fi-doms who don't like gross generalisations and misunderstanding.

Anyway, I think Se gets the worst rep on typology forums :\
 

Lady_X

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se? you do? why's that? what's wrong with se? that's good stuff...i'd take more of that...
 

Hopelandic

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se? you do? why's that? what's wrong with se? that's good stuff...i'd take more of that...

Is your question rhetorical Lady X? I mentioned that because of the assumed superiority/inferiority of certain functions, se for example. Though I'm sure you already know that, so I feel a little silly for answering the question if you didn't need an answer :p I would like some more se too :\
Anyway, I don't wish to digress too far from the topic at hand...
 

Lady_X

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i was asking for real...just haven't really seen anyone express disdain for the se...that's why i asked. :)
 
A

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Southern Kross

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To answer the OP, yes and no. My thoughts:

- When I see another threat about INFPs or Fi I wince a little. This is partly out of embarrassment and sympathy for the other types because of just how ubiquitous they are. It is also because I know they all but invite unjustified belligerent attacks on us. Like OA said, it bothers me that Fi users (INFPs in particular) are frequently treated as a joke by so many. No matter how reasonable and thought-provoking these discussions are, they will nonetheless treated as just silly, whining, emotional nonsense; despite the fact that almost all Fi discussions are nothing of the sort. In fact I almost always approach them in a measured, emotionally distanced manner and resent being written off as a hysterical woman for simply wishing to discuss an emotion based subject matter. It is even worse when I seek to defend myself and am accused of being 'too sensitive'. :rolli:
-Fi doms/aux are introspective by nature. Our personalities, demeanours and motivations deeply intrigue us and the endless threads exploring these are merely an expression of our type. I really don't see that I should be consistantly attacked for my natural inclinations. And to reiterate what someone said earlier, Fi Ne users also like to cover the same ground over and try to squeeze out some new significance from it. Again this is a type based behaviour. I often feel that many NTs in particular are unwilling to attempt to understand us on our own terms. I am so damn tolerant and accommodating to others and their differences; can't people return the favour.
- On the other hand, Fi doms/aux are inclined to be a little to precious about the function. I am fine with people here saying they find it fascinating and love it to death as long as we acknowledge that everyone feels that way about their dom and aux functions. There can be a degree of misunderstanding here, however, as Fi users often speak from a very subjective experience as a way of stimulating discussion. I think we have to be more careful in framing our responses so as not to appear to be treating our experiences as somehow special or tearing down other functions/types in order to define or bolster our own. We can get a bit carried away when given the chance to speak frankly about these things and perhaps need to be little more mindful of how we express ourselves. Granted we are not the worst offenders in this regard by any means.

I must say on the whole I feel happy with talking openly about Fi around here due to the shear numbers of us. It would be nice if I didn't have to constantly brace myself for the inevitable attacks but they don't put me off too much.
 

Lady_X

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The water feels warm here. When it's frigid, it's invigorating as we discover who we are. In here, there are all sorts of hopefuls, victims, lovers and haters. Some of which will motivate; some will fascinate; some will frustrate, but none of which to fear...

i'm confused by you...were you an infp at one time? or do i have you confused with someone else?
 

Lady_X

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you don't know if you were an infp at one time?
 
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