• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] Why aren't we the type we would choose?

animenagai

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2008
Messages
1,569
MBTI Type
NeFi
Enneagram
4w3
this is the most hurtful thing you can say to anyone :laugh:

I could think of worse, for example... :p

Eh I hope no one takes offense to that. I wouldn't take offense to people saying that they don't want to be an ENFP.
 

Noon

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
790
lets see INFPs are sterotyped as winey no backboned weiners who do not know how to use logic and cry at the slightest insult. Yeah........

Which is weird because in each encounter with people I've typed as INFP, they have been surprisingly outspoken and unapologetic about their voices. I still wonder why that stereotype is going strong.
 

jtanSis1

New member
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFP
the stereotype comes from moments that are only rare and usually random at best, But since those seem so different than what is considered normal, they are what stand out.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
I want to be ESTP or ENTJ, but sadly I was typed as ENFP. I guess it's just nature's way of fucking us.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
i was thinking and maybe it's just that we can't change, really... even if we wanted to be another type quite badly, we're still understanding what that other type is through the perspective of our own type.

like, i see Js as more responsible, more organized, more consistent, and i idealize them because it looks like if you have all your stuff together, then you should be allowed to let go and have fun. but that's a rather P motive, isn't it... like that being on top of things isn't for the sake of being on top of things, it's just for the sake of easier escape access. and i think i'd like to be okay with feeling "trapped" into things, but i guess maybe Js feel an equal and opposite discomfort when things are quite uncertain.

i think wolfy made an excellent point too. much easier to refine and add to your pre-existing skill set, as opposed to starting over at square 1.

also: INFP stereotypes are consistently dumb. so is any description of an ENFP that implies that we are extremely social and totally illogical.
 

Adasta

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2010
Messages
393
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Which is weird because in each encounter with people I've typed as INFP, they have been surprisingly outspoken and unapologetic about their voices. I still wonder why that stereotype is going strong.

INFP stereotypes are quite weird! In response:

  • I can use logic; in fact, I'm quite good at things like algebra. However, I just don't like using hard logic to make all my decisions - it doesn't feel right
  • I can often be hurt by insults, but it depends who says them. Insults or jibes from loved ones are the ones I find the most hurtful
  • an enraged INFP can be deadly!

I frequently hate being an INFP, but then love it again. I feel like I am often obliged to exist on other people's terms (the world is not sympathetic to an INFP) but revel in it when it is bent to my will, or when things are played out on my terms. I've been told that I have great insight in literature, poetry, the human condition etc. and people will say that I seem to be a person who has thought long and hard about my belief. This is true and is a quality I like in myself.

That being said, I do wish I was another type at times, if only to avoid the constant barrage of inanity and stupidity I see before me in the exterior world. I reckon that if I were another type, I wouldn't see the world as a place full of cruelty, selfishness and torpor. However, I realise that I would subsequently lose the "softness" which I think is lacking in so many others, but is so prevalent in my own personality.

Who would be an INFP? :D :confused:
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Don't mind and quite like being my type whether it's eNTJ or INTJ (most likely eNTJ due to Te-dom). But for a change, it would be fun to be an ESTP for a limited time as a comparative. :)
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
2,191
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I think it's more what you're more comfortable being, and what functions give you the most comfort. (For example, I would not be as comfortable using Fi than I would with Ti)

Even though I may or may not want to be an ENTJ, I'd have to work at it...which I feel like is a waste of time. I'm fine with who I am. :yes:
 

cogdecree

New member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
248
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
165
There is a genetic component to behavior; this has been established through monozygotic twin studies. Traits like intelligence, psychopathy, empathy, aggression, and inhibition have biological correlates, with the last two having specific genes tied identified for them, MAOA gene has been a heavily studies in this regard.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
If you want to be out being active and engaging with people but feel held back by your shyness maybe your not actually an introverted at all, maybe you're an extravert with social anxiety or something like that.
 

guesswho

Active member
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
1,977
MBTI Type
ENTP
I'd really like to be all 4 NT types, whenever I want. Whenever it suits me.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I don't think this is the sort of forum where people say 'be what you want to be', but rather the sort of forum where you will receive advice on how to get as close as possible to your desires. It's something I really enjoy about this slice of the interwebs.

Anyway. I thought I'd like to be like more of an ENFP for a while, but I've grown to accept myself. Truth is, I would miss the traits I have. I can embrace them, while working on the traits I might envy. They will be through the veil of an ENFJ, but I like that veil. It's more interesting that way. A lot of people have trouble accepting the positive traits they do have or seeing the negative traits what they desire to be comes with. There are two sides to everything, but people like to focus on negativity that they have in their grasp and reject potential negativity while they spectate.

In the psychological sense, a lot of people have deep-rooted issues with self-acceptance. It's not necessarily a desire to be something else, but the inability to accept themselves. You can see this in multiple facets of life. It's in a majority of minds to see the negative traits in themselves, even ones that might not be there in reality, and to envy those around them for what traits they are thought to have. Think body image issues of people who are in perfectly fine shape- so many of them will find something to envy, despite their current state. People get delusional very quickly. People also acquire a sense of hopelessness, or think that if they lack something that it cannot be obtained. The thing about it is.. it can.. it may just take some effort, rather than being placed in their lap. This could stem into the issues behind not wanting to make the effort.. buuut I have an english paper to write :laugh:
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
MBTI Type
ESTP
I don't think this is the sort of forum where people say 'be what you want to be', but rather the sort of forum where you will receive advice on how to get as close as possible to your desires. It's something I really enjoy about this slice of the interwebs.

Anyway. I thought I'd like to be like more of an ENFP for a while, but I've grown to accept myself. Truth is, I would miss the traits I have. I can embrace them, while working on the traits I might envy. They will be through the veil of an ENFJ, but I like that veil. It's more interesting that way.
Oh, but you ENFJs are uber-mesmerizing... :yes: I kinda just love listening to you... :wubbie:

A lot of people have trouble accepting the positive traits they do have or seeing the negative traits what they desire to be comes with. There are two sides to everything, but people like to focus on negativity that they have in their grasp and reject potential negativity while they spectate.

In the psychological sense, a lot of people have deep-rooted issues with self-acceptance. It's not necessarily a desire to be something else, but the inability to accept themselves. You can see this in multiple facets of life. It's in a majority of minds to see the negative traits in themselves, even ones that might not be there in reality, and to envy those around them for what traits they are thought to have. Think body image issues of people who are in perfectly fine shape- so many of them will find something to envy, despite their current state. People get delusional very quickly. People also acquire a sense of hopelessness, or think that if they lack something that it cannot be obtained. The thing about it is.. it can.. it may just take some effort, rather than being placed in their lap. This could stem into the issues behind not wanting to make the effort.. buuut I have an english paper to write :laugh:
:yes:

But some focus too much on all their positive aspects (like me) and avoid thinking about their negative ones...

I'd joke about the issue but it's become a serious one between my girlfriend and I. I'm just taking the truth like a man and doing something about it. :solidarity:
 

swift sylvan

New member
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
55
MBTI Type
NiTi
It's hard to choose who I'd want to be because of the complete shift in my cognitive processes and information I even notice, but being a dominant SE would be a huge change for me. I'd actually start noticing tastes, music, colors so much better than I do now.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Oh, but you ENFJs are uber-mesmerizing... :yes: I kinda just love listening to you... :wubbie:
It's the Fe :cool: :brushes shouldahs off:.
This actually isn't surprising to me, but I don't think the issue is in ENFJs being hypnotic to the outside masses. It's more along the lines of feeling too emotionally intense, isolated within ourselves, neglectful of our own harmony vs social harmony, etc. I wouldn't wish it on someone, but I wouldn't want to be anything else due to I recognizing and coming to terms with the varied traits.

:yes:

But some focus too much on all their positive aspects (like me) and avoid thinking about their negative ones...

I'd joke about the issue but it's become a serious one between my girlfriend and I. I'm just taking the truth like a man and doing something about it. :solidarity:
Balance, good sir. No matter what side of the spectrum you're on- strive for the middle-ground. It makes learning, reflecting, and communicating so much easier.
If you don't mind me asking (or would rather answer in pm), where does the lack of negative acknowledgment cause problems specifically?
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I find it a bit of a strange question. To me, it's like asking "Why am I not the perfect person that I desire to be?" or "Why cannot I not just pinpoint all my failings accurately, and then fix them all?"

To me, the most useful thing about typology is that it can help you to identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you have a better idea of what you have to work with. You have a better idea of why you fall into certain unhealthy patterns...etc. Then you can figure out how to play to your strengths, and how to work with your weaknesses and try to improve.

I'm fairly happy with the type I am, though I could do without what seem to be some of the negative manifestations. But being content with the kind of person you are - while not making loads of excuses for your weaknesses and failings - is something to strive for, I think.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Question is based on POV, used as fact, that some types are better to be than others, that others have it better etc... which is completely subjective, flawed in reasoning, perspective.
anyway....
we ARE the type we want to be because we PREFER so, this is why it's said TYPE PREFERENCE.

Problem with having brainwashed consciousness so we see on TV that we should be something else, and start believing it. But.... that's what "they" (real or perceived) want us to be, not what we really really want.


Yes, if you feel this way, OP, just leave type thing aside for a while, search happiness somewhere else.
 
Top