[MBTI General] Why aren't we the type we would choose?

[swift sylvan]

I find it a bit of a strange question. To me, it's like asking "Why am I not the perfect person that I desire to be?" or "Why cannot I not just pinpoint all my failings accurately, and then fix them all?"

To me, the most useful thing about typology is that it can help you to identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you have a better idea of what you have to work with. You have a better idea of why you fall into certain unhealthy patterns...etc. Then you can figure out how to play to your strengths, and how to work with your weaknesses and try to improve.

I'm fairly happy with the type I am, though I could do without what seem to be some of the negative manifestations. But being content with the kind of person you are - while not making loads of excuses for your weaknesses and failings - is something to strive for, I think.

Of course this is assuming that we have the cognitive abilities to accurately see ourselves for how we really are. I think this is the case most of the time, although it is possible I value one thing, but naturally without any biases use another (extroverted this vs. introverted that)

If I were to really admire ENFP's and start acting like what I perceive an ENFP to be like, would that include the emphasizing ENFP strengths and weaknesses as well?

 

[phoenix13]

This is a little bit of a philosophical question...

It seems as I learn more about type that we are somewhat bound by our type in how we behave. We can learn and grow and stretch ourselves, but when it comes down to most of life we are going to behave according to our basic natures.

I've noticed that many people post that they want to be a different type.

So my question is - why can't we be the people we want to be?

I used to assume that if someone acted rude or nice or silly that they were acting that way because they wanted to.

And then I realized that if I were to choose a personality for myself, I would be a raging extrovert, organized and grounded in reality. I would be super friendly with everyone and be a real encourager.

Instead, I am so introverted that I avoid calling people back on the phone, even when it is important, and even when I know that their feelings are probably hurt. I am completely unorganized and reality is a fleeting concept for me.

am not complaining, I just don't understand why we can't just decide who we are going to be?

I know many of you will reply and say "Just be who you want to be," but it really isn't that easy. That only works when I am full of energy and can resist my natural impulses.

Given that it is IMPOSSIBLE to type someone based solely on behavior (types are by definition based on thought processes, not behaviors), being a certain type does not inevitably produce a certain behavioral trend. Environment seems to determine behavior more than type.

Having said that, people are born with certain gifts and tendencies, and fighting against that does seem to make people neurotic. Someone who is highly intelligent and possesses an enormous amount of self control might be able to pull off something like that (they could master and utilize a wider range of thought processes), but I'm not convinced that the effort would leave them unscathed, and most people don't fall into that category anyway.

 

[A window to the soul]

No complaints here. I trust that God perfects us as we try.

 

[Sizzling Berry]

Genes expression, upbringing, brain wiring.

Some things are difficult to change without hard work.

And do you mean why we aren't born any other way? Beats me. Why wasn't I born with curly hair just soft, tangling fluff?

 

[Xellotath]

We can be the type we prefer?

Oh man, in that case, let me start my christmas wishlist.

First I'd like Ni, because they're all so stoic and bulletproof and cool. Then I'd like to keep Fi for kicks. Then uhm... Ti and Te. then Ne.. .and to hell with the sensing functions.

Oh ..

wait.

 

[Sizzling Berry]

Ni-> Fi-> Ti->

Sweetheart you would be super-introvertive !

 

[FakePlasticAlice]

The part i love the most about myself is also my biggest curse... so while i like to fantasize about being an ISTP... in the end i could never part with my Fe.. regardless of all the pain it seems to cause me. I've tried to rid myself of it for the majority of my life... i'm done trying to be someone else.

 

[skylights]

Ni and Fi seem ideal to me too. i guess that would make me ideally an INTJ, lol

too bad i would have to be SERIOUS then.