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  1. #1
    Junior Member jazzylas's Avatar
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    Default INFJs and emotions?

    I am an INFJ and I feel things deeply and I'm quite emotional but I seem to have trouble showing these emotions, one of my friends even pointed out that I'm "not one for showing emotions". I really care about people and am always there for them but I seem to struggle with verbalising how I feel, so people are inevitably oblivious to it. The reason why I don't show emotion is because I feel like if I did express them it would cause problems and I hate conflict and the like, even though a part of me knows this might not necessarily be the case. Is this normal for an INFJ? If so, why?

  2. #2
    Member amazingdatagirl's Avatar
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    This thread at PC somewhat addresses this issue.

    INFJs are 'warmer' and more emotional when they are extraverting but colder and more logical when they are thinking to themselves. - vel
    She suggests that the INFJ's Ni-Ti "face" is colder than even INTJ (perhaps the coldest of all MBTI personalities). When extroverted feeling surfaces, the Fe persona is warm and engaging.

    I have a rather embarrassing example of this - when the pictures came back from my daughter's wedding I was stone-faced in all but one (a shot taken afterward in the receiving line). I was so stressed by a million and one details that, even when I posed for the family portraits, I had my robot face pasted on. Actually, a robot could have done a better job of smiling for the camera.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    I don't know if this link works, but if it does, have a look at "Relationships" from page 38. It has some information about this thing you mentioned. And what I really liked in it: For once there's an INFJ description saying we are not afraid of conflict if it can lead to growth! That's exactly how I work. Tough love...

    Actually, a robot could have done a better job of smiling for the camera.
    True for me too. I've also been called a robot by someone...

  4. #4
    Sniffles
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    INFJs are 'warmer' and more emotional when they are extraverting but colder and more logical when they are thinking to themselves. - vel
    Sometimes. I often give off more of a colder vibe to the outer world while inside I maybe all emotional and stuff.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    What you are describing is classic INFJ. The deep feelings, the blank or cold exterior, having difficulty sharing care or emotions for others, wanting to avoid contact. It's unfortunately all part of us.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amazingdatagirl View Post
    This thread at PC somewhat addresses this issue.



    She suggests that the INFJ's Ni-Ti "face" is colder than even INTJ (perhaps the coldest of all MBTI personalities). When extroverted feeling surfaces, the Fe persona is warm and engaging.

    I have a rather embarrassing example of this - when the pictures came back from my daughter's wedding I was stone-faced in all but one (a shot taken afterward in the receiving line). I was so stressed by a million and one details that, even when I posed for the family portraits, I had my robot face pasted on. Actually, a robot could have done a better job of smiling for the camera.
    ^

    I'm the most unphotogenic and stonefaced person I know. Even when I think I'm smiling.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amazingdatagirl View Post
    This thread at PC somewhat addresses this issue.



    She suggests that the INFJ's Ni-Ti "face" is colder than even INTJ (perhaps the coldest of all MBTI personalities). When extroverted feeling surfaces, the Fe persona is warm and engaging.

    I have a rather embarrassing example of this - when the pictures came back from my daughter's wedding I was stone-faced in all but one (a shot taken afterward in the receiving line). I was so stressed by a million and one details that, even when I posed for the family portraits, I had my robot face pasted on. Actually, a robot could have done a better job of smiling for the camera.
    ^

    I'm the most unphotogenic and stonefaced person I know. Even when I think I'm smiling.

  8. #8
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    What you are describing is classic INFJ. The deep feelings, the blank or cold exterior, having difficulty sharing care or emotions for others, wanting to avoid contact. It's unfortunately all part of us.
    I do not relate. Maybe I'm not classical, then.
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    The INFJs I know , and I know a few, including IRL.. are very expressive caring and sharing people.
    They might be a tad selective.. But so am I.
    Too me INFJs are raw emotion and it's obvious in everything they do.

  10. #10
    violaine
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    I identify with the OP. I have trouble verbalizing my very deep feelings. I think how I feel doesn't translate well into actual words. And if I can't express myself without a lot of over-explaining and misunderstanding... well, I'd just rather not. I'm also keen not to ever be verbose, or me me me me me, which is what a lot of words out of my own mouth sound like to me.

    Actually, I've always thought words are an inadequate means of communicating what's inside.

    One question though, is it like that with people you are close to AND trust? I am expressive around the people I trust. That is, I trust them to be able to understand what I'm saying pretty easily because they are similar to me or that they are interested enough to want to know what's going on inside of me.

    I've also changed a little in how I feel about showing my reactions. Even though compassion and caring is at my core, it's my instinctive reaction when someone has trouble, I'm so depleted by all the caring I did in one particular relationship that I'm very armored and very careful about who I knowingly open myself up to in that way now. It feels like a resource I have to protect.

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