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[MBTI General] What does love feel like?

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
Marm, try right-clicking on rep symbol and choosing open in new tab or open in new window. Tell me what happens.
 

Rebe

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Nov 15, 2009
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INFP
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4sop
i miss someone like crazy. i want to hug him and hold him and have his babies. :boohoo: love is cruel.
 

Lily flower

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Jun 28, 2010
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You seem to mainly be asking the difference between love and infatuation. Are you currently in a relationship and you are trying to discern the difference?

For romance, it almost always starts with a phase of infatuation. I believe the typical length of time is 2 years. You feel giddy euphoria with the person.

Love grows more slowly. It is not just a feeling, it includes a commitment to the other person's well being.
So while the infatuation dies off, the love continues to build and grow stronger. You will continue to have seasons where the infatuation returns somewhat, but it inevitably will be replaced by the deeper and stronger love.

If you are concerned about whether you are only infatuated, and not in love, I wouldn't worry about the feelings in particular. You probably want to focus more on whether the relationship is healthy and whether the person you are with is a normal healthy person. Infatuations are dangerous when they lead us into relationships that are not good for us. But when they exist at the beginning of a love relationship with someone who is healthy, they are very normal and a good way to enhance bonding.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
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Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
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GONE
Love feels like being an ENFP on crack.

'Nuff said.

:rock:
 

Onceajoan

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Apr 22, 2010
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You seem to mainly be asking the difference between love and infatuation. Are you currently in a relationship and you are trying to discern the difference?

Lily flower - I don't know if this is directed to me, the OP - but I'll reply anyways. The question is motivated by a genuine interest in how people experience love. I was trying to get at what people experience inside their bodies - but most people are not addressing that - which is okay because I think everyone as a unique take on it.

I recently had an experience that I was trying to make sense of - it was different than anything I've ever experienced before. I thought that I had experienced love before, but never like this. I think that the most significant part of the experience is feeling my heart :heart: truly open up for the first time - I really felt my heart expand in a way that felt receptive. It gave me a sense of relief and comfort. Other bodily sensations: heart beating fast, intoxicated feeling, head rushes, and let's just say - other sensations.

Again, I've been in love before (or thought I was), but I never felt this way. I am just curious to see if others have had similar (or different) bodily experiences connected with love. Also, do our bodily experiences or feelings ever deceive us? Does love feel different depending on the relationship? Why?

For romance, it almost always starts with a phase of infatuation. I believe the typical length of time is 2 years. You feel giddy euphoria with the person.

Yeah. I think I get the difference. But, still, it's tricky. Where does infatuation end and love begin? I guess it is related to the degree of intimacy the couple achieve. The love will either grow or fade away.

If you are concerned about whether you are only infatuated, and not in love, I wouldn't worry about the feelings in particular. You probably want to focus more on whether the relationship is healthy and whether the person you are with is a normal healthy person. Infatuations are dangerous when they lead us into relationships that are not good for us. But when they exist at the beginning of a love relationship with someone who is healthy, they are very normal and a good way to enhance bonding.

Thank you Lilyflower. That's a very good point. Something for me to keep in mind.
 

Lauren

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
255
MBTI Type
INFP
I recently had an experience that I was trying to make sense of - it was different than anything I've ever experienced before. I thought that I had experienced love before, but never like this. I think that the most significant part of the experience is feeling my heart :heart: truly open up for the first time - I really felt my heart expand in a way that felt receptive. It gave me a sense of relief and comfort. Other bodily sensations: heart beating fast, intoxicated feeling, head rushes, and let's just say - other sensations.

Again, I've been in love before (or thought I was), but I never felt this way. I am just curious to see if others have had similar (or different) bodily experiences connected with love. Also, do our bodily experiences or feelings ever deceive us? Does love feel different depending on the relationship? Why?

Yeah. I think I get the difference. But, still, it's tricky. Where does infatuation end and love begin? I guess it is related to the degree of intimacy the couple achieve. The love will either grow or fade away.
When you feel in your heart that this is something different: it is. I would say, trust that. As to bodily experiences, if you feel something extraordinary, your body will tell you. If someone loves you, if it's right, it won't fade away. Circumstances and timing play a part, but we don't have control over these, for the most part. Feelings are always there to inform you, to tell you something you need to know. If you can look at it that way and not as something to distrust, perhaps that might help.
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
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Love is like experiencing the highest version of yourself.

I agree. In addition to what others generally say there is a incomparable contentment that comes with it. However, I've never accomplished unconditional romantic love, hopefully it is possible.
 

uumlau

Happy Dancer
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Feb 9, 2010
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sp/so
Infatuation feels like "real love."

Real love feels "normal."

Or, in other words, "What Marm said." :)
 

Onceajoan

New member
Joined
Apr 22, 2010
Messages
239
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INFJ
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1w2
I recently had an experience that I was trying to make sense of - it was different than anything I've ever experienced before. I thought that I had experienced love before, but never like this. I think that the most significant part of the experience is feeling my heart :heart: truly open up for the first time - I really felt my heart expand in a way that felt receptive. It gave me a sense of relief and comfort. Other bodily sensations: heart beating fast, intoxicated feeling, head rushes, and let's just say - other sensations.

Again, I've been in love before (or thought I was), but I never felt this way. I am just curious to see if others have had similar (or different) bodily experiences connected with love. Also, do our bodily experiences or feelings ever deceive us? Does love feel different depending on the relationship? Why?

Yeah. I think I get the difference. But, still, it's tricky. Where does infatuation end and love begin? I guess it is related to the degree of intimacy the couple achieve. The love will either grow or fade away.


When you feel in your heart that this is something different: it is. I would say, trust that. As to bodily experiences, if you feel something extraordinary, your body will tell you. If someone loves you, if it's right, it won't fade away. Circumstances and timing play a part, but we don't have control over these, for the most part. Feelings are always there to inform you, to tell you something you need to know. If you can look at it that way and not as something to distrust, perhaps that might help.

Thanks, Lauren. This is very helpful (and comforting) to me.
 

cascadeco

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Oct 7, 2007
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I have to preface this by saying that I often question whether I've truly experienced it, simply because I haven't had a really longterm relationship (measured in years) to know or recognize within myself the different elements or shades of love.

But at the same time I don't think I haven't experienced it, and I don't want to negate what I have felt and believe to be love.

So for me, I think the few times I've come to feel love that is beyond the falling-in-love-rush-of-intense-feeling (which I think is a form of love, just in its earliest and maybe more naieve/rose-colored-glasses stage) is when I notice it in the quiet moments. It feels like a presence within me - like a separate entity, almost. I'd say the feeling is closest to one of intense Caring - really caring for the person and who they are, and rejoicing in the fact that they're alive and that they are who they are. Really valuing them and wanting them to be happy and wanting the best for them. In other words.. it has little to do with me and our relationship/dynamic, in those quiet moments. The relationship itself - the two of us together - is certainly important too, and obviously the other invokes feelings in me and fulfills my own needs and such - but this presence, what I call love within myself - is solely about who they are as a person. Take me out of the picture and I'd still care for them just as much, and want them to be happy.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
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Love feels like choking to death and liking it. And eating a socially unaccepted amount of chilli chips at the same time.
 

Applesandhoney

New member
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
3
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Infatuation and love feel physically very differently to me. Infatuation can develop to be love but it doesn't have to.

When I'm infatuated, I'll mostly be nervous, it's about anticipation. That's what makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, I can't sleep (literally), my legs feel weak, etc.

For love, the physical sensations are way more subtle, and I would even say this can be different depending on the person I'm with. It's really quite abstract and difficult to explain... I feel calm. I feel like everything I usually worry about is not that important. I feel more present, in the here and now. I feel warm, sometimes my heart feels warm. My ego is less important... I truly care about the other person's happiness more than about anything else. I feel like I'm transcending from my single me, being at the same time "truly me" and "the best me I can be". So yes, also that sense of calm, comfort and open/warm heart. Also, I'm less fearful.

Sometimes I also realize I love someone when something bad happens in the relationship - such as an argument. Realizing that there is a conflict, taking a step back, distancing myself (not a natural thing for me!) and then still feeling a strong sense of connection and wish to compromise. Doing things that are hard and unnatural for me (such as giving tons of space) and still feeling connection... I had an experience like that a couple of weeks ago and it freaked me out.

Obviously, these feelings aren't there 100% of the time, but come and go and alternate.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Love feels more like a bond of deep friendship that goes beyond words.

Nice way to put it.

It feels like a presence within me - like a separate entity, almost. I'd say the feeling is closest to one of intense Caring - really caring for the person and who they are, and rejoicing in the fact that they're alive and that they are who they are. Really valuing them and wanting them to be happy and wanting the best for them. In other words.. it has little to do with me and our relationship/dynamic, in those quiet moments. The relationship itself - the two of us together - is certainly important too, and obviously the other invokes feelings in me and fulfills my own needs and such - but this presence, what I call love within myself - is solely about who they are as a person. Take me out of the picture and I'd still care for them just as much, and want them to be happy.

:yes: :cheese:
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
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[YOUTUBE="qM-gZintWDc"]Good Will Hunting[/YOUTUBE]

There is a fairly good description in this scene. :yes:
 

Onceajoan

New member
Joined
Apr 22, 2010
Messages
239
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INFJ
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1w2
Infatuation and love feel physically very differently to me. Infatuation can develop to be love but it doesn't have to.

When I'm infatuated, I'll mostly be nervous, it's about anticipation. That's what makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, I can't sleep (literally), my legs feel weak, etc.

For love, the physical sensations are way more subtle, and I would even say this can be different depending on the person I'm with. It's really quite abstract and difficult to explain... I feel calm. I feel like everything I usually worry about is not that important. I feel more present, in the here and now. I feel warm, sometimes my heart feels warm. My ego is less important... I truly care about the other person's happiness more than about anything else. I feel like I'm transcending from my single me, being at the same time "truly me" and "the best me I can be". So yes, also that sense of calm, comfort and open/warm heart. Also, I'm less fearful.

Sometimes I also realize I love someone when something bad happens in the relationship - such as an argument. Realizing that there is a conflict, taking a step back, distancing myself (not a natural thing for me!) and then still feeling a strong sense of connection and wish to compromise. Doing things that are hard and unnatural for me (such as giving tons of space) and still feeling connection... I had an experience like that a couple of weeks ago and it freaked me out.

Obviously, these feelings aren't there 100% of the time, but come and go and alternate.

Applesandhoney, welcome to TC. Your description was very helpful to me. It resonates. Thank you.

[YOUTUBE="qM-gZintWDc"]Good Will Hunting[/YOUTUBE]

There is a fairly good description in this scene. :yes:

Yeah. It's a beautiful description given 3/4 the way through the scene. I think there's something to be said for maturity and life experience. I wonder how these two would type...
 

Lady_X

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Oct 27, 2008
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yeah love that scene disco

and onceajoan...i don't know about will's type in that...maybe entp?? and robin williams is an enfp in just about every flick isn't he? except maybe that weird one where he worked at a photolab and killed people.
 
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