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Thread: NF love?

  1. #1
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    Default NF love?

    to me is seems so flaky.

    if you can go from person to person proclaiming them all to be "the one true love of my life"

    and seems like the ysometimes FORCE themselves to "love" someone just for the sake of having someone... ie, would rather be in a bad relationship than be single and find someone they can have a good relationship with


    overall i dont get the NF when it comes to love and relationships
    can you guys help me out here...explain your views and such

  2. #2
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    Hmm... From my perspective I'm not going proclaim someone as the love of my life until I'm entirely certain. Perhaps due to my P tendencies the idea of commiting to such a notion is way too final for my liking.

    I'm not really into the idea of love at first sight either, in most cases people I've had feelings toward have been the result of some sort of development. Love to me is not found, but instead uncovered. My feelings are deep but are not entirely irrational either, perhaps thats due to a strong T.

    For me, I find SF's to be more the "one true love" type. (Not that there's anything wrong with that). I'd wager that when NF's say such things they would really mean it.

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    Member ferrisbueller's Avatar
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    I do think that you're describing ENF's here rather than INF's. The INFJ's and INFP's I know are very careful about who they love romantically but when they do get involved they do so very deeply. The reason we ENF's may declare profound love a little bit often is pretty simple: that's how we feel, we get very excited about relationships very quickly and I know that I'm very quick to apply the love label to a relationship. As for staying in bad relationships, NFs put a tremendous amount of work into making their interpersonal relationships work, and I think to an extent leaving that relationship is admitting failure. A lot of NFs tend to shoulder the blame for relationship problems, so we stay in bad relationships not because we are necessarily afraid to be alone, but because we feel like we are responsible for the relationship's flaws and we feel like we can fix them.
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    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba View Post
    to me is seems so flaky.

    if you can go from person to person proclaiming them all to be "the one true love of my life"

    and seems like the ysometimes FORCE themselves to "love" someone just for the sake of having someone... ie, would rather be in a bad relationship than be single and find someone they can have a good relationship with


    overall i dont get the NF when it comes to love and relationships
    can you guys help me out here...explain your views and such
    From the NF attraction threads and the Type and Passion survey thread, I have to disagree with your assessment. It seems that a good share of NFs have tried the pragmatic set up that you are suggesting and have learned that only genuine emotion will allow them to continue the relationship. In fact, it seems only SP and SJ types have any real capacity to have such relationships.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba View Post
    to me is seems so flaky.

    if you can go from person to person proclaiming them all to be "the one true love of my life"

    and seems like the ysometimes FORCE themselves to "love" someone just for the sake of having someone... ie, would rather be in a bad relationship than be single and find someone they can have a good relationship with


    overall i dont get the NF when it comes to love and relationships
    can you guys help me out here...explain your views and such
    I think your ideas about NFs are inaccurate. I know they are for me, and several of the NFs on this forum.

    I've only ever dated two guys my whole life. The second one I've been married to for fifteen years. I'm not capable of flitting from relationship to relationship. That's why I've never dated casually.

    I would rather be single than in a bad relationship, but my relationship is good. I know everybody says that, but my best girlfriends agree with me and sometimes tell me they wish they had what my hubby and I have. If your best girlfriends say that kind of thing, then it's probably true.
    Last edited by cafe; 01-30-2008 at 08:39 AM.
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    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba View Post
    to me is seems so flaky.

    if you can go from person to person proclaiming them all to be "the one true love of my life"

    and seems like the ysometimes FORCE themselves to "love" someone just for the sake of having someone... ie, would rather be in a bad relationship than be single and find someone they can have a good relationship with


    overall i dont get the NF when it comes to love and relationships
    can you guys help me out here...explain your views and such
    As others have said, this isn't an NF hallmark. The flitting thing could even be SF (ESFP, particularly).

    Presumably this is from personal experience?

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    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Yeah, I personally never have jumped from one relationship to the next. That would be too heartbreaking of an experience for an NF in my opinion.
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    Member Shinzon's Avatar
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    Last edited by Shinzon; 02-11-2008 at 03:38 PM.

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    unhealthy or immature NFs may flit around due to their idealistic nature, and becoming bored or some other form of dis-satisfied with a relationship once they see the flaws. They may have a million "the ones" because they really do connect deeply and intensely with other people and may just be mis-interpreting that as attraction all the time, or because that's truly how they feel at that given moment(Especially in the case of ENF's as stated in a different post). Or, it could just be the ST shadow showing up.

    Other than that, what you describe is pretty opposite for at least most of the NFs on this forum.

    As for looking for a relationship just to be loved, that's really just an immaturity thing regardless of type. Ferris brings up really good points about why an NF would stay with a bad one, too.
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  10. #10
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    I'll jump on the NF bandwagon here and say the same. The OP doesn't really fit the NFs I know. I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship (though I can tolerate periods of problems in good relationships, and therefore also tolerate bad relationships for a while until I realize they're not good relationships with problems, but formerly good relationships that have turned bad.)

    I don't believe in any "one true love", but I do believe in deciding that you'll treat your partner as if he/she were your one true love if the relationship is good and has promise. It's not something I rush into though. If it turns bad you break the illusion, cut away, lick your wounds and analyze what happened . There's no point in chasing love, but if you after a while find yourself entering a new relationship, you repeat the procedure if the relationship seems good and has promise even after the initial infatuation wears off.
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